We went home after what had happened, neither of us willing to talk to each other. How could we, when something so traumatizing had happened? I couldn't stop getting her expression out of my face, her absolute lust at being pounded by the bully that had haunted me for ages. I was dumb enough to think that going to college would be completely different. I was wrong... I was more than wrong. He wouldn't stop this. Steven was having way too much fun tormenting my mother and I, and I knew he wouldn't stop the harassment, no matter how much we begged him. He might even get off on that.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room, lying in bed as the scenes flashed before my eyes over and over again. The humiliation of being there, unable to help her, needing her to defend me by sacrificing her own body to that punk. It was overwhelming... I wanted to scream and run and never come back, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. I was about to stand up and play a video game of some sorts... just to distract me from my swirling thoughts, when I heard a knock on the door.
I was tense, but relaxed slightly when I opened it, revealing my mother standing there with two drinks on her tray and some cookies. "Hi." She said, looking incredibly guilty.
"Hi." I said in response. It was so awkward between us, which was crazy for me. I've never felt awkwardness around her before. We've always been able to communicate all our emotions. I cursed Steven again, not able to believe what he's done to us.
"I made some hot chocolate." She said, looking down at her tray. "I think... I think we need to talk about this." She gulped.
I nodded, and moved aside to let her in. She set the tray on the table next to my computer, and I sat on my bed, as far away from her as possible. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked cautiously.
She bit her lip, and looked down at her hands. "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened."
I shook my head, my heart pounding. "Mom, are you insane? This was completely my fault, I wasn't there to protect you... I let him do those things to you."
She chuckled, a breathy laugh. "I guess we're both blaming ourselves here. The truth is, I was raped, by someone the same age as my son. We shouldn't blame ourselves."
I nodded agreeing with her. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself, mom."
She shook her head, and got up to sit next to me, placing my hand on her lap. "I want you to try to forget all of this, to pretend it was all a really bad dream."
"But...I think he's going to do it to you again. And he gets off on it being in front of me." I said, feeling like I was stating the obvious.
She nodded. "I'm going to see what I can do about it. Trust me, David. Please." Her eyes were glistening, like she was trying very hard to be brave. I nodded, pretending like I believed her words. She clearly needed someone to believe in her right now.
"Okay." I said, squeezing her hand. "Just... just let me know if you need any help, okay? Or even someone to talk to. Maybe we can pretend we're not mother and son. I mean... I already saw more of you than I thought I ever would." I said, trying to lighten the mood up.
Tears were still threatening to fall down her eyes, but she nodded and let me go. "Well, I'll let you enjoy the rest of your evening." She left the cookies and my mug on the table and left with her tray, looking a little blank in her expression.
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I wondered all through the rest of the weekend what I would be saying to Steven when I finally confronted him. Would I scream at him, yell at him for doing what he did to my mother? Or would I pretend like nothing happened, just to not make the situation worse. I had to admit to myself that he had power over me, over us. He had the pictures of her laying there with his cum on her, and no matter how much I tried to pretend it didn't happen, it had, and we would have to live with the repercussions.
I was hesitant about going to school, but I followed my normal routine nonetheless, and took the bus, my heart pounding the whole time. I was being ridiculous if I really thought about it. Steven and I weren't in the same program, and I doubt we would even see each other in the school halls. We were at a huge campus, and the likelihood of him seeing me... I shook my head. With my luck, it would happen today. He would try to find me just to destroy me.
My first class was uneventful, though I couldn't pay attention to any of it. I considered seeking out help from a counselor or psychologist, someone who would be able to help me without legally being able to contact the police. It would help me dissect all of this... all of the complicated emotions rushing through my head. I was snapped out of my thoughts again by the sound of people getting up around me, packing their bags as they chatted with each other. I began to follow suit, and exited the classroom to find none other than Steven in the hallways, looking down at a girl he was chatting up. She was looking up at him with equal admiration, and his hands were placed on her waist. It was subtle, but he was making it loud and clear for anyone that saw them that she belonged to him.
Hoping that he didn't see me walk by, I walked as fast as possible, and my whole body tensed when I heard the words, "hey, David." Coming out of him. I groaned inwardly, and my pulse was racing so fast it felt like I would faint right there and then from a heart attack.
I turned around to face him, and words refused to come out of my mouth. I figured if they did, I would want to rip his head off, and if I did do that... he would be able to expose what he did to my mother to the whole school. So I began to shake as he approached me, his hand in his pocket as he hummed like nothing was wrong. The girl was left there, watching us curiously. He stopped in his tracks right in front of me, grinning down like he owned my entire world. If I were being honest to myself... he did.
"How was your weekend, David?" He asked with a smirk.