Life can be so unpredictable sometimes. One minute, it can seem like the world is at your feet, and the next, everything is turned around and you can't tell which way is up. That's how I feel right now.
It has been over two months since my girlfriend, Jessica, and I were blackmailed into having lesbian sex with our former teacher, Ms. Wescott; a memory that continues to haunt and torment me. Life is slowly starting to return to normal, but I still struggle daily under the weight of my burdened conscience.
I still keep in contact with Jessica, and even though our experience with Ms. Wescott has been a serious trial in our relationship, we've remained close. Thankfully, my family life has also remained in tact. My relationship with my parents and siblings has stayed about the same, even if they've noticed slight changes in my behavior at times.
And now, here I am, in my bed, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about life. "It's ready, come on down," my Mom called out from the kitchen as she finished preparing dinner. As I came out of my room and started to descend the stairs, the doorbell rang, and my father promptly opened the front door. To my utter disbelief, it was Ms. Wescott standing in the entryway. Upon seeing her, my knees went weak, my entire body became flush, and I felt a sense of sheer panic that I've never experienced before in my life.
"Hello! Thank you so much for having me!" Ms. Wescott politely said as she leaned in to give my Dad a cordial hug. She looked at me, her chin resting on his shoulder, and scrunched her nose as she smiled wide and bit her tongue. It was a playful gesture that would seem innocent to any onlookers, but given our history, it chilled me to the bone. This woman, to me, was the Devil incarnate.
Just then, my Mother stepped into the room. "Welcome, Ms. Wescott!" she said warmly, as she then turned towards me. "Jessica, I've invited Ms. Wescott over for dinner tonight. She has news that she'd like to share with you, and we wanted it to be a surprise."
"Fantastic!" I begrudgingly said through my clinched teeth and fake smile. My entire body was trembling with nervous energy, but I had to act as normal as possible.
Just then, my 14 year old little sister ran up to greet Ms. Wescott, giving her a hug. "Oh, my! Hello there!" said Ms. Wescott, crouching down. "Let me take a look at you. Wow... You're really growing up to be a beautiful, nice, young lady, aren't you?" she said glowingly. I felt sick to my stomach, and swore right then and there that I'd get my revenge on her if she ever did anything bad to my family. But for now, I held in my anger, and tried to stay calm.
At dinner, Ms. Wescott made an announcement. "Samantha, as you know, our annual, week-long religious retreat for young women coming up, and I would love for you to come and be one of the camp counselors!" she said. My heart skipped a beat. The thought of spending an entire week in seclusion with Ms. Wescott absolutely terrified me. Already resigned to my fate long ago, and not wanting to invoke her ire in any way, shape or form, I reluctantly agreed. "Sure! That sounds great," I replied, trying to sound as authentically excited as possible.
"Wonderful!" Ms. Wescott replied. "I actually have two spots open at the moment, and I'm thinking that your friend, Jessica, might want to join us. I'll have to see if she's available during that time, or if she's tied up." I could see this coming a mile away. Of course she would include my secret girlfriend in whatever gross plans she had.
Not wanting to be in this woman's presence any longer than I had to, I felt the urge to excuse myself early from the table; however, I stayed, as I wanted to keep an eye on her around my family. I felt like a dog protecting a flock of sheep from a hungry wolf.
The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch, and Ms. Wescott adjourned home. Nobody ever suspected any sort of past deviant activity between the two of us. Ms. Wescott was a woman of patience, discipline, and above all, cunning. Even if I despised her, I could still recognize her strengths.
Jessica ended up agreeing to go as well, and in the days leading up to the retreat, her and I talked about running away together, and just disappearing. Still, the thought of our families finding out about our secret activities, even if we weren't around, was more than we could bear. We had to see this through.
The morning of the retreat arrived, and all of the staff and students gathered at the school to prepare to leave. Ms. Wescott greeted us in the parking lot, and gave both Jessica and I a big hug. "I'm so happy that you two made it! I'm really going to need your help on this trip," she told us. Jessica and I nervously averted our eyes away from her, remaining silent. We packed onto the bus, and made our way out.
The bus trip itself was pleasant enough. Jessica and I sang songs with the group, shared stories, and did what we could to pass the time. It was actually a welcome distraction from our impending doom.
Arriving to the campground, I stepped off the bus, inhaled the fresh air, and took a moment to appreciate the life-affirming splendor of nature. I've gone on a few retreats here in the past, and I knew the area well. The camp itself covered a large stretch of land, and everything was always clean, modern, and looked truly idyllic. In all of my time spent here, never would I have guessed that it had a seedy underbelly, all under the direction of a woman who was the very picture of immaculate, Christian living.
Jessica and I spent the first day under the guidance of our fellow auxiliary staff, as they helped orient us with our duties and get us settled in.
The next three whole days after that were spent in complete service of the camp, its staff, and the attendees. During this time, Jessica and I really got to know many of the girls, even better than we already knew them from school. We played games with them, set up and supervised their activities, and helped them with any of their needs. I wanted to warn each and every single one of them to stay away from Ms. Wescott, but was paralyzed with fear for what would happen if she ever found out what had been said.
On the fifth night, while all of the girls were ending their day with a short, brisk nighttime walk and hot showers, Ms. Wescott called Jessica and I over to the dormitory where all of the girls stayed. When we arrived, only Ms. Wescott and two other staff members were present.
"Hi girls," Ms. Wescott said, "I want to let you know about something that has happened. Last night, it was reported to us that two of the girls were found to be smoking marijuana. We cannot ignore this, and so we're going to do a quick check of their belongings."
Knowing Ms. Wescott, my guess was that she was going to use any evidence that she could find as leverage against its owner, so that she could have her sick way with that individual. "God," I said to myself, "if you exist, please don't let them find anything." As they started their search, my stomach was in knots.
