It's ironic that the first thing I felt when I saw the van pull over to the side of the road was relief.
I'd been on my way to meet my long-distance boyfriend for a concert, and my car had broken down about ten miles after I'd stopped for gas. (Long enough that I was completely out of cell-phone range, so my gold AAA membership wasn't going to do me any good.) I hadn't brought a change of clothes -- I had things at his house -- and my little black dress only came down to mid-thigh. I was standing beside my car, debating whether I should walk back to the gas station -- lamenting the fact that I was wearing heels; it was going to take me longer, and I'd be in agony after just one mile -- when the sleek black van pulled up behind my car.
Two respectable-looking men stepped out of the car; one had dirty blond hair and a neatly cropped beard, the other was dark and clean-shaven. They were both tall and well-built, seeming to tower over me even in my heels.
"Having trouble, miss?" the dark-haired man asked.
I nodded. "I'm so glad to see you," I gushed. "My car broke down, and my cell phone isn't working."
Neither one of the men was smiling; they exchanged a glance and seemed to come to some kind of decision. They each reached into their back pockets and pulled out badges, flashing them at me.
"We're undercover officers, and we were given a tip-off that someone was going to be running drugs through the area in a car matching your description." The blond man stared pointedly at my out-of-state plates.
I laughed. "That's not me," I assured them, not taking the situation seriously just yet. "I'm going to meet my boyfriend for a show in Salt Lake City."
"Mind if we search your car?" the dark-haired one asked.
I hesitated. I knew I had a little bit of pot in the car -- just an eighth or so -- but it was enough to keep me from ever making it to the concert that night if I was caught with it.
"Actually, I do mind," I said, planting my feet and trying to keep my voice steady. "I'm kind of in a hurry. And you don't have a warrant."
The blond laughed; it was the first show of humor either one of them had expressed, and for some reason, it made me more nervous than their deadpan faces. "I'd try not to worry about getting to your show tonight," he said. "Turn around and place your hands on the hood, ma'am."
"What?" I didn't think I'd heard him correctly for a second. This couldn't be happening.
He advanced a step closer. I stepped back and felt my car behind me, looking up at him.
"Turn around," he repeated, "and place your hands on the hood of your car."
I did as he instructed this time, and he waited a few seconds after I was steadily planted to capture one wrist, then the other, and lock them behind my back in handcuffs. It happened so quickly that I didn't realize what he was doing until it was done.
"Hey!" I couldn't keep the tremor from my voice this time. "Am I under arrest? What are you doing?"
They ignored my questions; the dark-haired one did search through my car, and I felt the big hands of the blond man reaching around to feel around and inside my bra, down my sides and then under my dress. To my embarrassment, my nipples had been rock-hard, but it was cold enough outside to account for some of that.
I tried to take it with stoicism, but I wasn't expecting him to pull aside the string of my thong and slide his fingers inside me. That was even more humiliating, because I was very, very wet.
"Wh-what are you doing?" I managed to gasp.
"Cavity search," he told me, and they both laughed this time. "She's soaking," he commented to his partner. "I think she likes this. And she's got her hood pierced."
My cheeks blazed with heat, and I bit my lip when I felt his fingers probing at my ass; I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of a reaction at all.
He'd just slid a finger inside my rear hole -- and he didn't seem to be searching for anything, I noted, so much as probing and stroking me -- when the dark-haired cop found the pot.