How do I start this? It all began 3 years ago. Is it a superpower? A gift from God? The Devil? All I know is that I have the ability to stop time.
It's Friday morning and I am in a time crunch to finish a report for my bitch of a boss, Olivia. Sure, she is sexy, 6'2'', 140 pounds, and C cups, but on the inside she must be a black hole. I have already missed two deadlines this month and have been put on notice. Miss another one and I am at risk of losing my job. It's nearing the end of the day and there is no way I am going to be able to finish everything. "Please, give me some more time" I think and, all of a sudden, I notice the rest of the office looks like a video put in slow motion. "Ha-ha, very funny," I think and get up to tell everyone to cut it out when I see that Dave had dropped his pencil and it is falling to the ground. The only problem is, it's falling as if it were slowly sinking in water. "What the heck is going on?" I push a stapler off my desk to test it out. It starts to fall as soon as I push it, alright, but in slow motion.
"Well," I think, "might as well take advantage of this and finish my report." I know what you're thinking, "He is able to slow down time and his first thought is to use it to do his work?" Hey, you be at risk of losing your job and see what your first thought is when this happens. That's what I thought. Two hours real-time later I am done with the report just in time for the end of the work day. Time starts back up normally like nothing had ever happened. How long was it for me? Who knows, though my best guess is at least double that. Olivia stops by my desk on her way out with a smug look on her face, obviously expecting that I didn't get my work done. She would like nothing better than to fire me.
"How's the report coming, Joe," she asks, clearly expecting me to say I didn't finish it. I let her know I had just finished it up and emailed it to her. The smirk drops right off her face and she tells me she'll check it out tomorrow. I can hear her mumbling about it probably being crap anyways as she walks away. Okay, I'll admit it: I lost control for a few seconds. As I see her tight ass walking away, time slows down again so I take the opportunity to get up and give her a few her hard smacks on her ass. I quickly make my way back to my desk and time starts back up normally again. Olivia yelps and turns around, clearly expecting to catch me in the act. My desk is far enough away from her that there is no way she can suspect that I caused the sudden and inexplicable pain in her butt. She turns beet red and practically runs for the elevator.
I spend the next few weeks testing out my new ability. All I have to do is concentrate and the next thing I know time had slowed down. After a week of practice, I am able to slow things down twice as much as at first. I get it even slower in another week. After three weeks, I am able to stop time completely. Just imagine it: as far as you know, the whole world is frozen and you are able to move around and do whatever you want. And I mean whatever.