Diane's hand was soft, with long, slender fingers and uncalloused palms that had probably never done a day's honest work in her life, much less held a police officer's weapon. It gripped Helena's wrist firmly nevertheless, though, preventing her from leaving her fraudulent professor's home.
Helena hated how her heart had started racing.
She turned, glaring up at Diane. "P...Please let go of my wrist." She had to fight to make her voice steady. A swarm of confused emotions--fear, pity, anger, and others she knew but refused to name--kept fluttering inside her, clouding her thoughts and wobbling her voice like an singing saw.
"Just listen to me." In stark contrast to the mockery and teasing of a moment ago, Diane's voice was suddenly soft, conciliatory, apologetic. Helena was getting whiplash."Please, Helena. Just give me a chance."
"A chance to what? Bury me in a cornfield?" Helena laughed, but felt needles of embarrassment to the quiver the laugh held. She'd just confronted her professor about defrauding the university. How determined was Diane to keep that secret?
"To explain. To help you understand." Diane leaned in close, her eyes large and plaintive, university-defrauding eyes. "And to come forward myself about this. At least give me that dignity."
Helena bit her lip. This close, she could smell Diane's exertion, no doubt from an earlier bike ride. She felt disoriented, off-balance, cloudy. Diane was too close. Diane wasn't close enough.
No.
She jerked her wrist away.
"Please, Helena. You're the only one who might listen."
Helena hesitated. She looked up at Diane, then down at her wrist. "Fine," she snapped. "I'll... hear you out. Start talking."
Diane gave a radiant smile of relief and gratitude that definitely made Helena feel nothing in particular inside. But instead of talking, she turned and made her way back to the kitchen. "When I came to this university, the Dean and I--you know Jenny--we discussed my hiring over drinks. A good cop hates loose ends, even if she's not a real one."
"What do you mean?" Helena felt like she'd already lost the thread of the explanation. Diane's bare ass swinging in that diaphanous nightgown probably hadn't helped.
Diane flashed Helena a smile as she made her way to the sitting room, a glass in each hand and the bottle tucked under her arm. "I mean that I like a little symmetry in my life. Just share a drink with your professor, Helena, okay?"
"Okay," Helena said, and
immediately
regretted the impulsive answer. That--that didn't prove anything. She didn't have that
reflex
Diane had gone on about. Fuck that. Helena was still in charge here. She had all the cards, whatever Diane thought.
She just had a bad habit of saying 'yes' to people who spoke... authoritatively. Habit. Not reflex.
It wasn't as if Diane was any danger to her, she told herself. Helena wasn't the most physically imposing. She stood short and curvy, with a build her ex-girlfriend had once praised as 'soft', but she was quite in shape and trained in mixed martial arts. Maybe Diane had the advantage of size on her, towering above her with that supple, limber build, full teardrop-shaped breasts at eye level--normally tightly confined to an exercise bra but now practically on display beneath that diaphanous dress--but as long as Helena didn't let Diane get the jump on her, she was pretty sure she could kick Diane's ass. And there was no way Helena was lowering her guard, drinks or no.
They sat across from one another in the sitting room. Helena took the couch, Diane a regal armchair, the expensive kind with varnished wood and cushions that your aunt wouldn't let you jump on.
She watched intently as Diane poured the bottle. She wasn't letting her eyes leave the glass meant for her, not even for a moment. She waited to see Diane take a long sip of the drink before she did the same.
The drink was surprisingly smooth and nutty, with a hint of chocolatey sweetness. Helena's surprise was evident, apparently, because Diane laughed. "Oh, yes, it's very low alcohol. I don't much care for getting drunk."
"Me neither," Helena admitted. "I, um, used to have kind of a problem with alcohol, actually."
"Oh!" Diane's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry; I had no idea. We can just drink water, or--like, I think I've got some grape juice in the--"
"It's fine." Helena snorted. "I'm fine nowadays. I can have a sip now and then, especially if it's low-alcohol content." She took another sip, savoring the flavors. "I just have rules like, you know. Not going to bars, not buying anything for myself. AA's all-or-nothing god-fearing standard isn't applicable to everybody."
She scowled, realizing she was getting conversational despite herself. It was too easy to just... talk to Diane. That was always the problem.
They sat in silence for a moment, nursing their drinks.
"So," Diane said slowly, "I suppose you want to know why."
"I know why." Helena rolled her eyes, gesturing to the armchair. "That's why. This drink--" She raised it and took a sip. "--is why. Money. That's not interesting."
"Please let me finish, Helena." Diane's tone was that of a scolding professor, and Helena couldn't help but flinch. "As I was saying, I suppose you want to know why I've kept you at a distance."
Helena's breath caught. She focused her attention on the bottle. The back listed among its ingredients cinnamon, nutmeg and hazelnuts--plus a bit of cocoa, just as she'd thought. She wondered how much sugar was in it, taking a sip testingly. It was almost like a melted milkshake.
"It's... difficult." Diane's gentle voice pulled her back to reality, and to this subject she had told herself firmly she did not care about. "It's difficult for me, because I've always liked you, Helena. A lot. You're a brilliant student, you do every extra-credit project, and you always have something interesting to share in class."
Helena hid behind her wine glass, giving a noncommittal, "Hmm."
"Not to mention, well..." Diane laughed, brushing a stray lock of beautiful crimson hair from her heart-shaped face. "Can I say something unprofessional, seeing as I'm about to be fired anyway?"
Helena shrugged. She knew she should cut this off. It was irrelevant. It was flattery. It was. It was not healthy that she still wanted to hear these things from Diane, even now.
"I say this entirely objectively, since, well, we're talking about my behavior with the students." Diane leaned over and rested her chin over her steepled fingers. "You're very attractive, Helena."
Helena felt her cheeks get hot. Her heart was suddenly racing.
"You're a beautiful girl with a sweet manner and a charming smile. Of course I noticed that." Diane smiled at her. "So why, you must be asking, did I never... proposition you, like I did the others?"
Helena took another sip of the drink and finally found her voice. "Because I'd have stopped you."
"Very good, Helena. That's definitely part of it." Diane gave a gentle laugh. "Mark and Susan are very capable TAs, of course. Susan is great at helping her classmates, and more social than you, and Mark, well... he does tend to get higher grades than you. Just slightly."
Helena squirmed in her seat, dropping her gaze back to her glass. "Right," she said.
Of course she wasn't the best student. That wasn't... no, wait, why did she
care?
The class was about to disappear. Why did she feel those pangs of self-doubt and embarrassment anyways?
"But." Diane's voice rang out firmly, startling Helena back into meeting those piercing blue eyes. "You're hardworking. You do every task you're given without question, and you have a wonderful attitude. Mark groans when I give her papers to grade. Susan makes jokes about my lecturing style behind my back. You never do either. You're loyal, dedicated and... agreeable. You listen to everything I say." She winked. "And as we've seen tonight, you never miss a trick. That's why you're my favorite student." A faint smile ghosted across her pretty unpainted lips as she took the tiniest sip from her glass. She reached over and took the bottle, topping herself off--had she been that low?
Elena swallowed. Her throat was suddenly very dry.
Favorite student. Favorite student.
