Tammy had feared this day was coming. She had imagined it for some time, and was as powerless to stop it now, as she had been years ago.
Need and desire have a way of finding their way to the surface, no matter how much one tries to bury them.
Before Tammy married her husband Mark, she had dated his older brother Sam for several years.
Tammy had been a virgin when she began dating Sam. She had been drawn to his dominance, his confidence, and over time, how he made her body react and feel.
He was the first man to make her orgasm. First by his hands, then his mouth, and ultimately taking her virginity. She could not remember a time she had been with him physically, that he had not made her climax.
On the other side of the coin, he was a demanding lover. Tammy remembered when he would fuck her over and over. Had she not experienced sex with Sam, she would have assumed all men can only fuck once, and then are done. Sam could cum several times and still be hard. One of the longest nights she ever had sexually, was when he said he wanted to go "around the world" with her. She found out that "around the world" meant first her mouth would make him cum, then he would cum from fucking her pussy, then, when he was still hard, he introduced her to anal - and since he had already cum twice, he lasted a long time, introducing her to a new form of taking pleasure from her.
Her shame was that she came multiple times with Sam, almost every time they had sex.
The problem was - Sam wasn't the type of man for a loving relationship. Over time his needs became more and more. Not only finding new places and humiliating ways to fuck her, but he also began telling her he was going to share her with other men. When she pleaded with him not to, he would laugh, take her over his lap, spank her to tears, and then fuck her roughly. He also shamed her, telling her if she hated the idea, why was she so wet.
The fateful night came when he had a poker party, and she was over visiting. He pulled her to his lap, and said, the entertainment tonight would be his girl Tammy.
After she shook her head no and tried to get away, he tore off her clothes, and used his belt on her, telling her she embarrassed him. When he felt between her legs, he added more strokes of the belt, telling her, "I knew you wanted this".
Several hours later, after she had all of his poker friends either in her mouth, or in her pussy, some had both, he told her to go home and he would see her the next day.
After it happened several more times, with various men in various ways, Tammy began to feel the slippery slope. He was right. She hated the shame and humiliation, but every time her body responded, and she hated when they knew she climaxed from the men using her.
She felt she had to get away, to end the relationship, as she feared it would simply progress. She hoped for a different relationship, kids, a loving husband, and Sam was not one who would fill that role.
After finishing college, Tammy came back home, got a job at the bank, and worked on her career.
One day, at the bookstore, she ran in to Mark, Sam's younger brother. He asked how she was, and the two talked for a while, and then Tammy said they should get a coffee and catch up.
Later that week, Mark texted Tammy, and they had coffee. They caught up, and then over time it became dinner, then more dinners, movies, and Tammy fell for Mark, being a nice man.
Tammy would admit to herself, that she had found a man that had given her almost every thing she needed. Financial stability, a caring heart, a good man. The one thing missing was sexual satisfaction.
She loved Mark. He tried - and when he only lasted a few minutes, he would go down on her, cleaning her, almost out of shame, but that would make her climax, and then she would fall asleep with him holding her.
Tammy convinced herself that 95% of a life that she wanted was worth it, that the 5%, the sexuality she had experienced in the past, was worth not having, to be with a good man.
Sam wasn't at the wedding. Mark said he moved "out west" somewhere. The ceremony was great and the reception was warm. Part of Tammy was happy that Sam wasn't there - as she feared her body would betray her. Just one look from him at times would make the butterflies fly in her tummy.
Of course Mark knew none of this - and rarely talked about the past, simply assuming that Sam just wasn't a type of guy for a long term relationship.
Tammy loved being married. Keeping the house - working on her career. As Mark and Tammy painted each room, decorated, and talked about kids one day, Mark told her, they should make one of the rooms a guest bedroom, as he found out from his mom that Sam was coming home, and she had suggested it would be nice if Sam stayed with his brother for a while, to catch up as brothers.
Tammy tried to collect herself - Mark knew nothing of the past or why Tammy felt she had to leave the relationship with Sam. Mark seemed excited to reconnect with his older brother.
What could Tammy do? She told Mark that if he wanted Sam to stay with them for a while, then he should invite him, as it was his house as well.
She hoped it wouldn't be for a long stay, and hoped Sam had changed.
On the fateful day, a Friday, Tammy made sure the guest bedroom was all set, and then went off to work.
When she came home, she saw another car in the driveway, and taking a deep breath, she walked in to the house.
There was Sam, as tall, strong and confident as he ever was. He was standing, talking to Mark, and when Tammy walked in, his smile lit up the room, and he came over and hugged Tammy - loudly saying to both her and Mark, that marriage looked good on them - that they both looked great.
