About a year ago I was very into the church. I was on the worship team and had an event almost every night of the week. I met Andy at a party I agreed to go to after giving in to a few old friends. Of course he didn't have quite the effect then as he does on me now.
I started to party more often after that. I got into drinking and smoking pot. Within a few months I had left the church completely. I wanted to find my own way. I continued to see Andy, but I led him on numerous times. He stopped talking to me after that because he was tired of it. Once summer came my rebellion grew worse. I became obsessed with sex and pornography. I wanted to be a pin up model. I wanted to experience new things. I started sleeping around. I met a few older guys offline and had sex with them in the backseat of my car at night.
After a while I still felt kind of empty and really lonely. I talked to Andy online one night by messaging him on an old screen name that he had not gotten the chance to block. I sent him a heart felt apology letter. He accepted it and decided to come out to see me. We started talking again and soon we were seeing each other exclusively althoug he was still very cautious.
He was very disappointed in me when he found out about my promiscuity. My innocence was something he admired about me so much in the beginning. He still stuck around though and finally we hooked up and things were going good until about the fourth month together. He was a virgin before but we decided to share that level of intimacy with each other. He could not take the fact that I was not his fully and that I had been with others. He said that he loved me and he really wanted to work things out between us but he didn't know what to do. So we decided to take a break for a little while and get our heads together.