"How College Is Different from High School
"by Tami Smithers
"Ms. Fieldstone, English Comp I
"My first impression in September was that the campus of Campbell-Frank College is very beautiful. I never saw such green grass all over. There are a lot of trees too, big ones, and when all those leaves fell in October it was very pretty. We have a nice fall season in Rhode Island, too, but not like this. And now the snow is about to start. The buildings are laid out well and there is lots of space. I especially like the library, so many carrels to hide out in and bury yourself in books with no interruptions.
"And there are so many courses to choose from! My major is math but it's only nine credits a semester. I'm preregistering for the Spring and it's hard to choose what my two electives will be. I'm curious about everything. I've always been interested in things. Looking over the catalog, there's not much that I wouldn't want to sign up for. And I like how I can study whenever I want, like in the middle of the night if I have to.
"But most of all I like the people I've met here. So many different kinds of friends I've made. My room is currently a triple (because of construction in Rankin Hall) but both my roommates are very nice. The girls in my wing are friendly and it's interesting to know people who came from such different places and get friendly even though on the surface you might not have much in common with them.
"In conclusion, I think the main thing that makes college different from high school is the variety of new people I meet here."
Tami, sitting cross-legged at her dorm room desk, tapped out this last sentence on her beat-up laptop. Then she sighed and looked down at her nipples, erect as always, and further down to her pubic hair. And added one more thing to her essay.
"AND THE FACT THAT I AM ALWAYS NAKED!!!!"
She glanced furtively across the little room at her roommate Jen, lying in her pajamas and wool socks in the lushly blanketed lower bunk. Jen was engrossed in her iPhone. Her Peter Pan haircut never seemed to be out of place, framing her gentle African-American face.
Jen wouldn't hop up to see what Tami was writing but Tami quickly deleted that last sentence anyway. This essay was such a fake. She was supposed to write about her impressions of being away at college, a standard assignment for this way-too-easy compulsory English Comp class. But the last thing she wanted was to write about the one impression that overwhelmed all the others. Consequently she couldn't think of any real ideas. Her imagination was cramped, strangled. She looked at her little essay again. Rats. I sound like a sixth-grader.
She looked outside, at the campus on this cold, misty Sunday morning, December 3. Not much green grass now. Last night's frost was melting on the bare trees. She slouched, wondering how she was going to get through this winter -- naked!
And naked she had to be. Caught streaking on a sorority dare that first week here, an expellable offense, she had blurted out the excuse that nudity had become her religion. It had just popped into her head, desperate as she was to avoid being expelled and losing her gymnastics scholarship. She was the first person in her family ever to go to college and the heartbreak and disappointment to her parents would be horrible. She thought she was a goner, clutching that bathrobe around her in the Dean's house. Mr. Jorgon, an old guy with funny glasses. Then he came back and told her that, according to the college lawyer, nudity had in fact been recognized as a protected religion in her home state. Something about the Rhode Island Supreme Court and a nude beach permit. And because he was required to respect her religion under the First Amendment, he could not expel her. What a relief that was. But --
But just to make sure she was telling the truth, he said he would have her monitored to make sure she followed this new "religion"! And he placed Wanda, her R.A., in charge of making sure Tami never put on any clothes! Wanda, who had led the dare!
It was bad enough the first few weeks. She was at least allowed a little shirt and sneakers, supposedly for safety reasons. And she had the dorm room to herself (the girl she was supposed to share with never showed up). But when she came back from Thanksgiving, she was stripped totally, all her shirts and footwear taken away, and all the blankets off her bed! Her towels had been taken away too, leaving just little cloths to dry herself with after showering. She was to have nothing to cover herself with, not even any tiny little bit of her. It was Wanda's doing -- Wanda, who clearly was some kind of sadist.
It was so unfair, being that Wanda had gotten her into this in the first place. But what could she do? To tattle on Wanda, or on the other girls on that dare, would be to admit that she had been streaking that night. And then -- expulsion!
Fortunately some of what she wrote in her essay was true. She had gotten her two roommates after Thanksgiving too, in that double bunk across from her. And Terri and Jen were fast becoming true friends. Terri was always on the go. She dressed smartly and was always going to one appointment or another. She had an off-campus job, played guitar, wrote poetry. At the moment (10 a.m.) she was at the gym exercising.
And then there was Jen. Like most freshmen she was shy at first but starting to come out of her shell. And she made it known, without actually saying it, that she was gay or at least bisexual. And that she was in love with Tami's body. Tami was of two minds about that. It was bad enough being on display to the whole campus when she went out to class -- there were the constant stares and wisecracks, and the occasional wolf whistle -- but now she felt on display in the privacy of her own dorm room.
On the other hand Jen made Tami proud of her body. Of course her body was passable. After all, she was on the gymnastics team, as was Jen. The tough workouts under Coach Snyder made it unlikely for her or Jen to get pudgy even after pigging out in the dining hall food. Students made jokes about the food, but to Tami it seemed actually pretty good. A great salad bar, and the best pancakes she'd ever tasted. Way better than the rubber-pizza menu at her high school.
Tami leaned forward a bit to get a sideways glance at the long mirror on the inside of their door. Thanks to Jen she was now proud of her flat tummy, her lithe legs. She had been told many times that her green eyes were pretty, and the dark red hair that went to her shoulders. She kept it loose these days, hoping when it grew longer she would at least have covering for her shoulders. She smiled. How long would it take to grow to my feet, to cover all of me?
As she leaned forward her little crucifix, suspended from its silvery chain, hung forward too. She clasped it gently. She had always worn it, since her Confirmation in sixth grade. Under her clothes it wasn't noticeable. But now . . .! People probably thought she was real religious (religously Catholic). But it would feel funny to take it off after wearing it for six and a half years. And it was her only covering, the only thing she could still "wear". As she touched Jesus on the cross she felt herself saying a little prayer. Maybe he'll protect me, make me brave.
She felt downright blasphemous as she looked past the crucifix to her pubic hair, the same color as her head hair. God . . . I can't believe my pubic hair has been on constant display. This is unreal. Crazy! She felt like that dream where you're walking naked in front of everyone else wearing clothes. Only she couldn't wake up from this dream. It was her life!
