Taen

This is my first time publishing, and the comments, even some of the negative, have been really helpful. thanks for reading, thanks for commenting.

*****

Georgie leaned his head against the wooden balcony, sweat dripping from his brow as he tried to catch his breath and Clyde leaned back against the truck.

"Why didn't you just tell me? I could have dealt with her accordingly."

"How could I be sure it was your wife? I mean, I was pretty sure, but it wouldn't surprise me if one of my wives did it and hoped she'd get blamed. Women are conniving little bitches." Georgie muttered disdainfully.

"I need your help brother; I don't know what else to do," Clyde announced in defeat, a moment of pure vulnerability.

"It's late now brother, we can discuss it in the morning." Clyde nodded and pushed himself off the truck.

"C'mon Skye."

"No."

"While you cannot take a whooping', there are punishments I can bestow that won't harm the baby."

"As if the safety of a mere parasite concerns me; I will not carry any spawn of yours to term." I spat. I'd toss myself down a flight of stairs first. Growling in frustration he came closer and grabbed my bicep.

"Either you stand or I'll pick you up and let Maggie drop." He warned. I kissed her forehead and set her back down guilt knotting my stomach, as I wiped the blood off on my dress.

Would she forgive me? I wished he'd just killed me and gotten it over with. I wiped my eyes furiously, sniffled a little and stood. I thought he was going to take me inside; instead he picked up Duchess, handed the empty furry body to me and motioned I follow him. Holding her...what used to be her, it almost looked as though she was asleep. I stared down at her, willing her to move to open her eyes and bark, anything. But I'd heard the sickening crunch of her bones when Georgie snapped her head, and all because she had been protecting me. Not like she was even hurting him, just irritating.

"You will be the one to bury her," Clyde announced as we stopped at the she where he grabbed a shovel. We walked to the edge of the property, near the woods and he handed me the shovel. I grabbed it in both hands and stared down at the ground for what felt like forever.

"Hole ain't gonna dig itself!" Clyde announced. I held it a moment longer and then I swung it at him, missing by mere inches. He grabbed the shovel and ripped it out of my hands.

"Now you get to dig the hole with your hands! Needs to be a deep hole Skye, don't need any coyotes digging her up." I wasn't accustomed to manual labor, but I glared and kneeled, and started using my fingers to break into the dirt. Once I'd broken through the tough surface, the rest wasn't so hard. I could feel my dirt gathering under my nails and my fingers ached by the time I got a foot into the ground. But Clyde stood there and watched me as I struggled to dig deeper, fingers getting raw.

I started sweating and wiped my forehead off on my sleeve. My hands protested but I kept digging, taking my anger out on the soil. When the hole reached 3ft deep Clyde took his shirt off and tossed it at me. Moonlight almost reflected off his naked chest.

"Wrap her up good," he instructed. I felt almost numb, except for the throbbing in my hands. I curled her up on the shirt and wrapped it up tight. Silent tears escaped my already swollen, red puffy eyes. My throat felt raw, screaming like that after being choked hadn't helped either. I sighed as I gently placed Duchess in the hole and covered her with the dirt, while apologizing for getting her killed. Clyde helped me to my feet and led me into the house. We passed the bathroom where Sarah and Ruth were cleaning up Maggie. If looks could kill, the glare Sarah sent my way would have struck me down.

Clyde pushed me back down the hall to his room. He sat down and started to pull off his belt. My heart raced but I remained still.

"You said you wouldn't..."

"It's to tie your hands together Skye."

"I have no other opportunities' to escape," I replied.

"Not taking any chances. Gimme your hands." I held them out and he wrapped the belt around them several times, than grabbed another one and wrapped my ankles together.

"You'll be sleeping by the wall." I climbed into the bed and scooted so that I was facing the wall. Clyde climbed in behind me and I waited for his arm but instead he had his back to me. I felt hurt, just slightly and even though I knew how ridiculous that was, it didn't make it hurt any less. It didn't take long after closing my eyes to fall asleep.

Clyde woke me up with a shake. I groaned, aching from my shoulders to the tips of my fingers.

"You need to bathe." I sat up and turned to face him. He unbound my wrists and ankles and motioned for me to follow him. When the bathroom door closed behind us he started the bath water.

"I have to pee," I announced.

"Good." He dug into the drawer and pulled out a generic pregnancy test. He handed the box over to me.

"If you are...if it's positive, the first pee of the day has the most hormones. You'll pee on the end of the stick, mid-stream."

"I don't want to." He slapped me.

"When I give you instructions Skye, the only words I want to hear from you is Yes Sir." I gritted my teeth as I looked down at the box. I took a few deep breaths feeling uneasy and shaky.

"Now go ahead," he pointed to the toilet.

"No privacy?" I asked, earning me another slap.

"Take the damn test!" he growled.

"Okay." He cleared his throat and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yes, Sir." I corrected. I opened the box, hands shaking as I read over the instructions it suddenly felt real.

"I don't have to pee," I announced.

"Skye, I do know how to insert a catheter if you're going to be that difficult," he threatened. That was enough to motivate me. I undressed since I knew I'd be getting into the bath anyways, and fumbled with the foil package as I sat down. I ignored his presence as I followed the instructions when finished I handed the test over to his awaiting hand. The phrase please let it be negative repeated in my head. Fate could not be so cruel; but fate had already shown me how cruel it could be. I climbed into the tub, no longer wanting to wait anxiously for the double pink lines to show up. I hugged myself as I submerged into the hot water.

I started to wash my hair and used the washcloth scrub away the dirt from the night before. I wondered how Maggie was. I glanced up at Clyde as he stared down at the little white stick in his hand in concentration.

"It's probably just too early to tell," I excused. He smiled and shook his head as he turned it around for me to look, the second line was faint, but there was no mistaking it was there. My heart sank and suddenly I found it hard to breathe. How could this seriously be happening to me? What the hell had I ever done wrong in my life to deserve this? I didn't want a baby, especially by any of these me and especially now! Fate wasn't just cruel, fate had bitch slapped me and was now rubbing salt in my wounds. I felt frozen as Clyde kneeled beside the tub and wrapped his arms around me.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me," he announced. I didn't reply as the truth slowly sank in. After everything I'd been through, my body has betrayed me and conceived. I wanted to protest and deny it, tell him the test was wrong, he was wrong. Instead I remained frozen while Clyde hugged me.

"I need to bathe," I announced. Despite the fact I kept my voice emotionless, nothing I said seemed to dampen his mood. He nodded and fetched me a dress. I looked down at my body; I didn't feel any different or look any different. Could there really be a little life growing inside of me? What if Clyde wasn't the father? What if it looked like Christopher? Worse, what if it acted like Christopher? Up until that very moment I'd always been anti-abortion. I believed it was a life from the moment of conception. But at that moment all I could think of were the multiple ways I could cause myself to have a miscarriage. There were only two stairs on both the front and back porch, they didn't own metal hangers, and I didn't know which natural herbs could help so that option was gone. I could keep my fingers crossed and hope it didn't carry to term. I shook my head clear of the thoughts, I wasn't sure I could follow through if the opportunity presented itself.

Clyde returned shortly with another dress and I hurried to dry and dress, I got a glance of myself in the mirror. There were red splotches across my face in the shape of his hand. I ignored them and made myself comfortable at the breakfast table. It was quiet and I noticed Maggie's chair was empty. I wanted to ask how she was, I wanted to see her, talk to her but I knew after the night before things were going to be a lot different. Clyde sat down and grabbed my hand in prayer. I lowered my head and mumbled amen, and when it was all said and done Clyde stood and got the family's attention.

"We have an announcement." Clyde spoke eagerly, his excitement was obvious.

"Skye and I are going to have our first child."

"Is it girl or boy?" asked Caine.

"Whatever God gives us, as long as they're healthy," Clyde answered with ease as he rested his hand atop of mine. I tried to pull away but he squeezed tighter. I frowned, staring down at his hand. There was a scar between the 3rd and 4th knuckle. His ring and pinky finger were not squeezing. I hadn't noticed before, but I could see now I'd done some permanent damage.

"Well I hope your baby dies!" Becky announced hatefully. A few of the adults gasped as everyone turned to stare at her. She stood up now, maybe a foot and half above the top of the table as she brought her fury filled eyes towards me.

"Honey, we do not say things like that; that is an awful thing to wish for," scolded Sarah.

"Better if it dies before it's born before SHE kills it," Becky replied. Before she could be scolded further she stomped away from the table, not minding any of her manners as she ran to her room. I just sat there staring after her in shock. Sarah stood to follow her.

"She's upset about Duchess, don't take it personal," Sarah explained, and then she was gone.

"But I didn't kill Duchess," I announced in bewilderment. I was almost a little hurt; I liked Becky, always so sweet and chipper.

"You trying to leave resulted in her death; if you were a good and obedient wife, it would have never happened," Georgie answered. His words burned, that was how Becky probably saw it too; and would continue to understand it in that way until they were free.

"You're the bastard who snapped her neck!" I protested.

"Which I wouldn't have had to do, if you knew your place and stayed in it," he growled. He stood, breakfast already done and made his way out the back door, letting it slam shut behind him.

Clyde dished me a hefty plate but I shook my head.

"I am not hungry," I announced.

"I didn't ask if you were. You're eating for two, now eat." He ordered.

"No." I replied, voice barely above a whisper. Clyde rested his hand on my knee, fingers digging into my flesh. I had to bite down to prevent crying out.

"Do not disobey me again Skye; eat!" He squeezed until dark spots danced in my vision as I struggled to remain conscious. I grabbed a piece of toast and took a small bite. His gripped loosened enough I could breathe again.

"Good girl, remember to eat it all," he ordered. I deliberately took my time in eating it just to spite him. It wasn't that the food was awful or that I wasn't really hungry. I was just done with being told what to do, with having someone else lead my life for me. I knew before long I was going to go insane and if I didn't kill myself one of them would finally have enough and do it for me.

"C'mon, you work with me today," Clyde announced.

"If I refuse?"

"Thank I shall spank you like the insolent child you are," he growled as he stepped closer. He held out his hand and stared me down. I gave him mine and let him pull me outside and towards the barn. At first I thought perhaps he was going to chain me up in the stall again, at this point I would have welcomed it. Instead he stopped outside at the side of the barn and started pulling out buckets from the shed. Inside were a few different brushes and a couple weird objects I'd never seen before.

Clyde disappeared inside but not before chaining me to a pole, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. When he returned he brought a horse in tow, she was a tan horse with a few white spots and dark brown mane and tail.

"This is Ethel," he introduced as he tied her loosely to a nearby piece of wood. He slapped a brush in my hand and pulled out a similar one from the other bucket. He put his on by squeezing his hand in under the band.

"Just going to rub her down with this curry comb, want to move like this in a circular motion. This helps get off all the loose hair and dirt. It's good for her coat and helps keep her healthy. I want you to finish this side while I do the other." I reached out tenderly, hand shaking a little. I'd never seen a horse up close before; I stood in awe of its massive size. The horse allowed me to brush her and when I was finished I could already tell the difference. The next brush he handed me had stiff bristles.

"Got to brush her down in the same direction as her hair, but don't mess with her underside. I don't want you doing that until she's more comfortable around you," he instructed. Ethel stood calmly while we groomed her; I found the motion soothing myself.

"While we're brushing her, we want to be on the lookout for any scratches, bumps, wounds anything out of the ordinary really. Most the other horses leave Ethel alone, but sometimes the horses can get caught in the sticker bushes and we want them to stay in good health." I could feel the large taught muscles beneath the palm of my hand and it was amazing feeling just be near her. When Clyde was satisfied with our work he handed me a third brush and instructed me to brush her mane while he brushed her tail.

"Sometimes the girls come out and braid their tales, helps keep them from tangling." When Ethel was all brushed Clyde pulled out a small metal object with one hook at the end.

"This is a hoof pick; we use it to get out all and any small debris from their hoofs. But this isn't a job for you yet." He set to work cleaning all of her hooves than exchanged her for another horse. 5 horses later and it was finally lunch time. My shoulders burned and my entire arms ached. It wasn't easy work that much I could tell. I could also have better understand why Clyde and Georgie had such big arms. I didn't fight eating, I was too ravenous. After lunch Clyde and I stayed and gathered all the scraps plus the bucket beneath the sink.

"The pigs eat mostly vegetable scraps and pellets. We have to un-muck the stalls, lay fresh hay down too." The pen was behind the barn and we set down our buckets. I followed Clyde to the shed where he gathered a pitchfork, wheelbarrow and gas fueled pressure washer. There were elbow long rubber gloves and a long bristle scrub brush. The pen was 30x15ft. There were 2 boars and 3 sows with maybe a dozen piglets or so.

"We start with the water troughs." Clyde lifted it and carried it outside the pen. He dumped out all the water and had me scrub the inside. I pushed past the pain and scrubbed until I was pretty sure my arms would fall off. He refused to allow me to use the pitchfork so I was in charge of scrubbing the pigs down. Sally was my favorite; every time I touched her with the sponge she squealed and tried to get away. Time went by fast; when he rinsed out the water touches and filled them up I replaced the hay and pellets. The smell of the pen was strong, but I pushed through it and earned myself a kiss from Harry, the oldest boar. I giggled when he shoved his cold wet snout against me.

"He likes you," Clyde announced. I scratched the boar right between his ears and he snuffled in appreciation. Once the pen was clean we fed the chickens, the cows and the turkeys.

"Do you have to do this every day?" I asked Clyde.

"The major cleaning, we do twice a week. But I schedule it so that I don't have to clean all the cages the same day. Spread out the work. The smaller kids collect the eggs, Georgie butchers them if we need meat and Christopher does odds and ends around the farm.

"Are the crops how you guys make money?"

"It helps us get by. We try to do as much ourselves as possible, the way the lord intended us to do, but we do have a few luxuries. Although once I get another wife Georgie will be starting his own farm. We have some cousins coming in a few weeks to help us build it."

"C-c-cousins?" I stammered.

"Did you think this was the extent of my family?"

"How...how many people?"

"I have 12 uncles and 5 aunts biologically. I have over 100 cousins." My stomach suddenly felt really queasy.

"Do they live close?"

"Some, you'll meet most of them in a few weeks, we're going to have a grand BBQ." When our chores were done he unchained my ankle. I honestly thought it was more work to have to keep moving the chain, but it was him doing the work.

Dinner was delicious chicken and rice and I was asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

If had thought I was a prisoner before, it became a whole lot worse. With the impending visit of the cousins, Clyde was cracking down with zero tolerance for even a sarcastic sigh. I spent most my day with reddened cheeks and whatever flesh he could hit without risking damage to the fetus. I found referring to it as another entity helped me cope with the fact I was carrying the offspring of one of these psychos. The kind caring Clyde was gone; he realized that no matter how hard he kept trying he couldn't make me love him. But he was damn sure he was going to make me obey him. I wasn't allowed near sharp objects and I was rarely allowed out of his site. I almost preferred the beatings. They had healed and were long gone. Some of the things he yelled to me hurt, I tried to ignore the comments. Remind myself of who I was and how little his opinion meant to me. His opinion was worth nothing, but I could feel it breaking me down.

I felt like I was thin ice and there were cracks everywhere, all it would take is a little more pressure in the right spots and I'd break completely. I was nervous and scared about the arrival of the cousins, I was stuck between wishing to die and holding on to the hope I could still make it out of there. I didn't want to be like the other women. I found that if I kept my head down and minded my manners Clyde usually left me alone for the most part. Georgie and he became very close after my escape attempt; they had nightly chats, which I could only assume were pep talks, and the thought that Clyde might be taking advice from Georgie made me shiver. Whatever advice he was giving I knew I wasn't going to like it. Any escape plan I could come up with there was always a way he'd catch or stop me.

When Maggie did finally leave her room it was almost a week later, most of her swollen face had returned to normal size, but it was still much discolored. She didn't speak; she didn't look at me or anyone besides her children and husband. I stared at her, begging her with my thoughts to just look at me. Even if she didn't forgive me, if she hated me passionately I wanted to know. But she never did. I fell into a routine, mornings Clyde woke me up, we would dress in our farm work clothes, he'd actually bought me some on his last trip into town, and then we'd eat a hearty breakfast before setting out to work. I tried to focus on my tasks, enjoying the company of the animals. Henry became like my little buddy, he'd follow right by my side whenever I came into the pen to feed them or to clean. I always made sure to bring him a couple fresh carrots from the Garden. I would kneel beside him and he'd give me kisses in appreciation. Henry reminded me a lot of a puppy. It felt nice to feel affection again, I didn't care that it came from the creatures on four legs instead of two.