Roxanne was a regular down at the Village Pub. The bartender, Jesse, was getting pretty tired of arguing with her. She was so drunk; she wasn’t able to keep her balance. “Roxanne, you’ve had enough.” he told her for the umpteenth time.
"Who do you think you are? You’re just a bartender. I’m the customer and the customer is always right!” Roxanne exclaimed in her slurred voice. “Fine you piece of shit, I’ll take my money some place where they’ll appreciate my business!” she spat.
Jesse said, “Roxanne, hand over your keys. I’ll call you a cab.” Roxanne took her glass filled with only melting ice and threw the contents in his face.
“I’m outta here!” She yelled at the red faced Jesse. Roxanne grabbed her purse and started for the door.
A couple of patrons in the bar stopped Roxanne before she got out the door where she proceeded to argue with them as well. In the meantime, Jesse called the police. Roxanne started to push and shove the two guys blocking her exit. She slapped one of the men in the face. “Get the fuck out of my way!” she cried.
She got outside the bar and started fumbling for her keys. Roxanne, her long dark hair bouncing as her stride quickened, stumbled and fell down on her knees. The two men she had scuffled with were right behind her.
The police car pulled into the parking lot of the Village Pub just as the men were helping Roxanne to her feet. As the two young officers stepped out of their vehicle, one of them asked, “What’s going on here gentlemen?”
One of the men yelled, “This crazy bitch is drunker than shit and wants to drive to another bar.”
The taller of the two policemen said, “I’m Officer Campbell and this is my partner Officer Burkowicz, we’ll take care of this matter from here.”
“What’s your name young lady?” Officer Burkowicz, the slender blond cop asked, his sharp blue eyes surveying her.
Roxanne replied seriously, “Listen Occifer, I’m fine.” but her intoxication was unmistakable.
Officer Campbell, the more muscular of the two, said, “Please let me see your license Miss”.
Roxanne fumbled into her purse, dropping everything to the ground. “Shit!” she exclaimed.
A joint was lying on the ground along with the other contents of her purse. “What do we have here?” Officer Campbell asked as he picked up the spleef.
Officer Burkowicz picked up Roxanne’s wallet and took out her ID. “Please come with us Miss Winters” he said.
They led Roxanne to the squad car and she tripped and fell again. Some new customers were pulling up to the establishment and observed the two officers with the drunken and very attractive girl wearing jeans and a tight sweater. One of them thought to herself "That tall dark haired cop is hot." in reference to Campbell.
Roxanne was ordered to put her hands on the hood of the car and Officer Campbell frisked her lean yet supple body. She was handcuffed and put into the back of the squad. The officers got in the vehicle and slowly pulled out of the Pub’s parking lot. Roxanne was so messed up that she started to pass out in the back of the squad. She awakened a few moments later, yelled at the two policemen, “What the fuck? I’m a law-abiding citizen occifers!”
“Miss Winters, possession of a controlled substance, and driving under the influence of alcohol wouldn’t be considered law-abiding.” Officer Burkowicz proclaimed.
“Listen, you fucking pig, I’m a taxpayer and I pay your salary!” With this comment she slumped back into her seat and passed out again.
“She’s ornery isn’t she?” Burkowicz asked Campbell. “If she didn’t look so good, I’d book her for possession, public nuisance, DUI and insulting an officer.”
“I hear you partner.” Campbell replied. “What do you think we should do with her?” Campbell lifted his eyebrow, his bright dark eyes sparkling, as he addressed Burkowicz.
“I think we should award her Swift justice.” Burkowicz replied.
