"Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love."
~John le Carre
Prologue
Tom only commits to what he loves, and when he commits, he's all in. This also makes him very competitive. It was true in his college athletics and academics; it was true in his work and relationships. Through these qualities he has experienced a great deal of success and in one instance, life-changing heartbreak.
She mesmerized him from the moment he saw her across the university's central campus green during Greek Rush Week his sophomore year. Her vibrant promoting personality drew attention to their sorority booth. This gorgeous blond was confident and enthusiastic in a way that attracted interest from potential recruits, not to mention any college man with an ounce of testosterone walking by. He then noticed her stunning beauty. Her knotted bright sorority tank top and short shorts accentuated her perfect five foot nine fit body. Suzy had every intention to allow the tank top show off her large tan breasts and for the shorts to cover just enough of her ass to expose the complete length of her long flawless legs. It was almost as if she was saying, "join our sorority and you can be like me." Who wouldn't want that? Then, in a magical serendipitous moment, her captivating sparkling blues caught and locked onto Tom's eyes from across the green. Her broad smile lit up her face and melted his heart. While he wasn't inclined to believe in destiny, he knew everything in his life had just changed.
Their first date lasted for hours, hearing one another's stories and enjoying their first kiss. He continued to be mesmerized by her boundless energy and zest for life. She was one of those people who live fully present in the moment. She often said, "all we have is right now, and we will never have it again, so we should live it for all its worth." The two were immediately attracted by their shared passions to live life in a way that leaves it all out on the field. However, they approached this shared passion for life differently. Tom's strategic disciplined approach to life complemented Suzy's impulsive spontaneity that never missed an opportunity. They loved partying together or hanging out with friends, especially Mark, Tom's best friend and roommate, and whoever he happened to be dating that week.
Suzy lived her go-for-broke approach to life everywhere, including the bedroom. There was nothing she wouldn't try or do if she knew it might bring pleasure. Although Tom's deep convictions included waiting to have full intercourse until they were married, everything else was fair game, in every sense of that word. There was nothing prudish for Tom about waiting; he was just a hopeless romantic to make the wedding night special. Their shared commitment to wait actually built anticipation, making their sex life more frequent and hot. For example, one Friday evening during their junior year, Suzy offered to cook a special dinner for Tom after a hard long week. When he opened the apartment door, dinner was already on the table, in and on top of Suzy's gorgeous naked body. With a smile, she promised that if he ate everything on the table -- everything -- then he would love the multi-course dessert she had planned. They didn't leave the apartment that weekend until Monday morning. It was a long, rich dessert. The sexual countdown and anticipation in their relationship intensified with their engagement the summer before their senior year. They couldn't keep their hands off each other, and rarely did.
The following January, less than six months before their wedding, Suzy called Tom on his cell saying she had to see him right away. She was sobbing. When Tom got to his apartment, Suzy was already there. Rather than the vision of her luscious body sprawled out as a delicacy on the dinner table to be consumed, she was curled up on the couch crying into her hands, barely able to catch her breath. Tom's roommate Mark stood awkwardly, as most any guy would, with a woman crying uncontrollably in his apartment.
As Tom started to walk toward her to comfort her she put her hand up and said, "Wait. Please don't make this harder than it already is."
"What do you mean?" he asked, dumbfounded.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted through her sobs.
Tom's legs buckled from under him. "What?" he asked confused. "How?"
Suzy looked up at Mark with a knowing look. Mark dropped his head. "I, uh I, uh Tom, look I am so sorry," he stammered.
"What the fuck?!" Tom shouted, feeling disoriented and sick to his stomach. His world crumbled around him with the sound of two sobbing words from Suzy.
"I am so sorry Tom," Suzy pleaded through her tears. "It was spontaneous. We didn't mean to..."
"Get pregnant?" Tom finished angrily.
"We usually used protection," Mark volunteered in a failed attempt to defend.
"There was more than once?" Tom shouted in disbelief.
"They didn't mean anything," Suzy tried to convince. "It was just physical, nothing more. Just for fun. Sometimes I'd get horny and just need a good fuck," she confessed.
Mark shrugged his shoulders as if to say "Sorry man," combined with "how was I supposed to resist that gorgeous body begging to be fucked with no strings attached?"
The room spun. Tom felt dizzy from the shattering words. After years of devotion and anticipation, his fiancé was pregnant with his best friends' baby. The two people he trusted the most cheated on him with each other. It was all a façade. They fucked each other over and over with the comfort and frequency of meeting for coffee, all behind his back. Betrayal didn't seem strong enough of a word to describe what Tom felt.
Mark moved out of the apartment and into Suzy's place that weekend. They were married a couple months later in the spring and their first child arrived two weeks after our college commencement. Mark took an entry-level position with a real estate firm in town while Suzy stayed home with the baby. A year and a half later a second baby came along. Their path's crossed on occasion through mutual friends, but it was easier for Tom to keep a distance whenever possible due to the pain of the betrayal.
Chapter One
Tom graduated that Spring with a degree in business and finance. A local private investment firm hired him to handle personal and corporate accounts. He had some early successes that captured the attention of the firm's executives. After three years Tom was invited to become a partner. After seven years, the CEO and majority owner of the firm was ready to retire and offered him the opportunity to purchase his share. He said his dream was to hand the firm over to a young leader who would take it to the next level.
The company continued to do well, and so did Tom's professional life. He worked long hours, but enjoyed all the luxurious benefits of his wealth. He lived in a large mansion, enjoyed travel to exotic places and was the CEO of one of the largest private investment firms in this region of the country. With all that was full in his life, the pain of betrayal still left a cavernous emptiness in his soul. It wasn't that he wanted Suzy back any more, at least in the same way, but an injustice had been done that had never been made right. That was until his assistant Cate asked him about an appointment request she received from someone saying she was an old college friend named Suzy. "It sounded urgent," Cate said.
Normally Tom's inclination would be to deny the appointment request. If he lived the rest of his life without seeing her, it would be OK with him, certainly easier than dealing with the pain. "Tell her no," he said.
"She said it was urgent," Cate repeated. "She sounded kind of desperate."
Tom didn't want Cate to think he was completely heartless, and part of him was curious. "OK Cate, book her for a half an hour, but nothing more."
The next day Suzy entered the large impressive 12-story building with artistic architectural flair of angled metal and glass. An impressive waterfall cascaded behind the round information center just inside the entrance. "Excuse me," she said to the professional assistant behind the desk. "I have an appointment with Tom Newhouse. Can you direct me to his office?"
"One moment please, and I will check with Mr. Newhouse's assistant." After a brief phone call to Cate, the receptionist said, "Mr. Newhouse's office is on the 12th floor. They are expecting you."
Suzy stepped into the elevator. She hadn't realized how professional the office would be, something she wasn't used to. She felt underdressed compared the men and women in expensive suits hurriedly multitasking on their smartphones as they crowded into the elevator with her. She checked herself in the elevator's mirrored walls. She had worked to remain fit and maintain her sexy shape from her college years, even though those years seemed like a lifetime ago. She straightened her long blond hair with her fingers. She wore a simple cotton white blouse with plunging neckline that showed off her still-firm cleavage and a blue printed skirt with short heels. Butterflies of nerves flew freely in her stomach as the elevator made its way to the top floor offices of Mr. Thomas Newhouse. She had never felt more nervous to see him or for the reason she asked for the appointment. The rest of her life could possibly hinge on what happens in this meeting. She tried to hold her emotions together.
"Mr. Newhouse will see you now," Cate said. "Please follow me." Suzy was impressed by the elegant dark-wood offices, thick plush carpets and statues that decorated the executive floor. She remembered the days when seeing Tom was just a matter of giving him a quick call on his cell, or even better, reaching across the soft bed to wake him up in a way that put a smile on his face. Cate knocked before opening the large double doors with the nameplate: Mr. Thomas Newhouse, Chief Executive Officer. As they walked in, the spacious office opened up with an expansive view of the city from windows that covered the entire length of the office wall behind his desk. Two chairs were placed in the center of the room facing his desk. A small conference table was positioned to her left with six chairs; two winged-back chairs were in front of a fireplace to her right. Suzy noticeably gasped as she realized the square-footage of his office felt like half the size of her entire house.
"Have a seat Suzy," Tom said matter-of-factly, pointing to one of the chairs in front of his sophisticated desk.
"It's good to see you, Tom. It's been a long time. You look good," Suzy volunteered.
"Anything else, Mr. Newhouse?" Cate asked.
"That will be all, Cate. Thank you very much." Cate closed the doors behind her on her way out.
"Wow," Suzy added. "This is impressive."
"Cate said you had something urgent you wanted to talk with me about," he answered, acting uninterested in small talk. Tom worked to hide behind the veneer of professionalism, as memories and feelings flooded over him. He couldn't help the vivid reminder of how stunningly beautiful Suzy was, still. His heart felt like it was doing gymnastics; it ached as if no time had passed.
"Um, I do," Suzy answered. "I just thought...," her words tapered. She realized Tom wasn't going to make this easy. "Tom, I'm in trouble," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I need your help."
"I'm not interested, Suzy."
"Please Tom, I'm desperate. I have nowhere to turn."
"You fucked your way out of my life when you fucked Mark," he answered.
"Please Tom, that was a long time ago."
