I freshened up my make-up, not that it really needed it, but it killed some time and gave me a chance to think. I then went to the loo for pretty much the same reason. As it happened, on sitting, I farted again and it became clear there was still gunk up there from earlier. Unpleasant though it was, I did my best to clean it all out. Scott, or the others, becoming aware of that was not to be permitted!
My life was being destroyed, but there were still normal plans for the weekend I'd had in my head. Nothing exciting, just food shopping and some study for the days, and then thoughts of going out in the evening today. None of that seemed likely to happen now, but I was wondering how to ask him about getting time to do some of the 'normal' things that needed to go on.
My mother, sister, and I exchanged messages most days, not always to each of us, but I'd be in touch with at least one of them pretty much every day. I'd sent my sister something yesterday morning before heading to uni, but nothing since. At some stage, they were going to try and contact me. I didn't know what they would do if they got no response. If they caused trouble, then that email might get sent.
I also needed to buy milk and a few other things. The bottom of our building had a branch of a supermarket over two-thirds of the ground floor, and I'd planned to just nip down and get a few things there, although it was more expensive than from a bigger store from another brand that was a little way down the road. Convenience counted in such things.
Displacement! I was doing it again, wasn't I! I didn't want to think about the task ahead, so I was thinking about the smaller issues, things that I might usually be able to deal with, and using them to fill up my brain with so that there was no room in my head to concentrate on the sheer horror of my life.
"Sir," I said when I'd finished in the bathroom, having made no attempt to close the door and block off the sound of what I was doing, even though the camera was not pointing in that direction. "I'll need to buy food soon, and I'll need your permission to contact my mum and sister on the laptop. As you have my phone. Otherwise, they will start to wonder where I am, and that might cause us difficulties."
'Food we will talk about later, but do not worry about your relatives. They have sent messages and I have been responding on your behalf.'
The bloody arrogance of the man! The sodding little bastard! I was going to rip his bloody balls off -- and they would be bloody by that stage -- and make him eat them! He was messaging them on my behalf without even telling me. Not that I should have expected anything different, but still, this was a real kick in the guts.
I could only hope that he was keeping things normal. He would have all my previous texts, messages, emails etc. to look back on to get my tone of voice right, but what he was going to be telling them was a worry. Let's be honest, everything here was a worry, but I didn't want him in contact with my family. After all, I was doing this to keep them out of it!
Somehow, I needed to get a message to them to let them know that all of my accounts had been hacked, or something, and to only contact me on a new one that I'd need to have created ready for them to use. How the hell I could do all of that without them giving it away to this bloke I didn't know though. If he got wind of it, then it was game over for me.
I wanted to say something to him, even just to ask him to be gentle with them, but had no idea of how to do it without incurring his anger. In just a few minutes I'd be in my flatmate's room getting screwed, but, if I didn't tread the line carefully, it was entirely possible that I'd be told to invite Paul -- or maybe even Paul and Mike -- in there as well.
This all-needed thinking about, carefully, but that would have to wait. I had my orders and couldn't afford to dilly dally in the safety of my room doing anything that wasn't geared to the task at hand. Face on, hair brushed, bladder now empty. All ready for action. Except that I wasn't!
All of the day's activities so far had put one tiny little thing out of my head. The pill. I wasn't on the pill, and I was supposed to be having sex for the first time. I had no condoms and had no idea if Scott did either. Hell, I might be having to ask his two guests if they had one with them. Or knock-on doors and see if any of the others were still in the flat and had one to spare?
Of all the stupid bloody things to forget -- or block -- not being on birth control was one hell of a big one! At least I'd remembered in time though! Would he let me go downstairs to the supermarket and buy some? I had no idea! Although I might have to go further and find a pharmacy somewhere nearby if they didn't have any.
Some of my friends followed the timetable of their periods quite closely but, while I knew roughly when mine was coming, it had never been that big a deal. What I couldn't quite remember was how long after it you were still at risk. My last was about ten days back, which I thought made me relatively safe. Relatively wasn't a great word to be using in this context though.
"Sir, I am about to go and follow your instructions. I'm not wanting to cause any issues, or make any sort of difficulty here, but while you know that I am a virgin -- we discussed it yesterday -- you may not know that I am not on the pill. And I've no condoms. I need to find some before I talk to Scott about having sex."
I waited for a response but had no idea what he would say. Yes! He had to say yes -- didn't he? He was controlling my life at the moment, but the ramifications of not being protected could cause huge ripples in my life for... well, for the rest of my life! I'd thought of this last night, but events had overtaken my discussing it with him then.
'Now it is time for the final round of mouth, cunt, arse, with only one section remaining. Take this machine with you to record events as you go to Scott and offer him vaginal sex. Fail to get it -- or to clean him with just your mouth afterwards -- and I email out that video. You know the one. Once done, take the machine and leave him to clean himself up. Do not do so yourself in any way until after filming your passing the time with his friends until he arrives back with them. You may then leave.'
He'd not even bothered to change the message -- or at least I didn't think so -- and had just cut and pasted the same one again. The bastard. The absolute bastard. While I'd known that he had to be that to have taken things this far, this further proof of it was quite chilling. There was no leeway in this to just nip down to the shops. The instructions were quite clear. Get on with it.
If I did, I was taking the risk of getting pregnant. Pregnant. That was one hell of a word to be contemplating before going out and attempting to drag to bed the man that I might be making into a father! Could I talk him into using the withdrawal method? Probably, if I was to only offer to let him have me that way.
I didn't think my blackmailer would accept that though. He wanted me properly fucked, and this would indeed well and truly fuck me. My parents were anti-abortion and, in general discussions, I had been as well. Even the morning after pill was a no-no as it, in effect, killed off any fertilised eggs. They would never know if I took it here though. But I'd have to live with it.
Not take anything and hope that nothing was growing in me -- or take it and maybe kill what could develop to be a living, breathing, human being? I knew that sperm could live in you for a few days after they were 'deposited' but there was no guarantee that he would permit me to leave the flat to buy what was needed in the limited required time, even if I thought I could do it.
'Now -- or else...'
There was no choice here and no mercy either. Whatever I went through, I was going to do it in the knowledge that I was carrying this additional burden at the same time. I took up the laptop and paused for just a moment to look at myself in the mirror. Bloody cute, and about to give it all away to Scott.
From the backs of their heads, I could see that Mike was no longer there. Gone home, gone to the shops, gone elsewhere -- it didn't matter much. What did matter was that this was a two-player game, and there were now two of them playing it. Was Scott going to be happy to dump Paul, who he'd invited over for the afternoon, and quietly come away with me?
"Scott, can I have a word with you please?" I asked nicely, but he said he was busy right now -- and could I give him thirty? He'd not even turned his head to look at me. Was he already so used to seeing me naked that, having just spent some time doing that, he wasn't overly bothered about doing so again straight away?
"Scott, look at me, please. Please." I stood behind the sofa, almost behind Paul's head, so that, unless he made the effort to turn all the way, then he'd not see what I was doing. Scott did, however, and quickly paused the game before telling Paul that he needed to speak to me for a few moments and would be back soon.
What I'd done to attract, and to keep, his attention was shameful. Shameful, degrading, and the act of a wanton slut. Which, as I was trying to drag him to bed, was the part I was playing. I'd lain the laptop on the kitchen table and then, facing him, had one hand cupping a boob and rolling the nipple, the other holding my slit down there open and laying it all out for him.