For an instant I thought Heathcliff had somehow developed the ability to levitate, then I realised the
man
was holding him. I blinked, as I often do when I'm surprised and I tried to focus on his face. It was hard to see through the fly screen on the security door and my eyes were still blurred after being jolted so abruptly from my meditation. The
man's
massive body filled my doorway and it was probably a good thing I couldn't see him properly, or I would have lost myself in his eyes and teeth and shoulders.
"Your cat was stuck on the roof, meowing." The man said, his tone was accusing, "Didn't you hear him?"
"Oh no, I didn't, sorry. I was meditating…" My voice sounded slightly muffled as though I was talking with my face hidden under a pillow.
"You meditate? What like Ghandi?" The bronzed Penis God asked.
I didn't need to see his face to know he was sniggering at me and probably derisively too. Cretin. Just because my world doesn't revolve around beer and topless waitresses at the workman's bar.
"Yes I do meditate," I said, in short and clipped tones, "And no, not like Ghandi."
The tone of voice I was using was the most anger I ever showed, not that anyone ever usually noticed. Just for once, I wish I had the courage or temperament to 'spit chips' at someone, like the character Jack Nicholson played in that movie As Good as it gets. I laughed so hard during that movie I had to go to the toilet. Maybe I should try and develop some obsessive/compulsive disorder so that I have the backbone to tell people what I think for once. I opened the door to retrieve my cat and thought that maybe I should just do it now, to Mr. Smug Typical Bronzed Aussie Bloke.
"Thanks." I smiled begrudgingly in his direction and was very careful not to meet his eyes.
Yeah! You told him! Way to go girl!
Shut up.
"No worries. You can make me a cuppa as payment." The man smiled and winked.
He actually winked at me! Who
does
that? Who winks when they are conning a cup of tea out of someone?
I gave him a deadpan look and my eyes locked with his, completely against my will of course. I seriously did not do that on purpose! The last thing I wanted to do was look into those eyes and swoon and make a complete idiot out of myself again when I was trying to work up the courage to spit chips. It was too late though, I'd already looked into those amazing aqua orbs and I couldn't look away. There wasn't much left to do about it, but to admire them and notice that in the shade they were the colour of a stormy sea.
In that moment, I thought I would probably make him anything he wanted…tea, coffee…babies.
I gasped! Where had that come from? Oh please God, don't let me have said that out loud, I swear I will go to church on Sunday and light a candle for every dead relative I have and considering that everyone in my family is at least thirty years older than me, that is a lot of candles. I wondered if I would get a discount if I bought them in bulk.
"You know? Tea?" He reminded me, speaking slowly as though talking to an idiot.
At least it seemed that I hadn't said that I wanted to have his babies out loud because he wasn't running, screaming with horror down the road! Have his babies? Oh good lord! Where was all this crap coming from? I decided that I couldn't wait for the workmen to finished Marge's yard, get out of my doorway and stop saving Heathcliff.
I bet he would throw cute pups though…
STOP IT!
"Oh! Oh sorry, I'm still a little bit dazed I think…you know. Um… visiting with Ghandi and all that tends to leave me a little bit dippy…" I muttered apologetically.
Like you ever AREN'T dippy!
Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate here!
"Tea?" I giggled lamely, "I only have Earl Grey, is that alright?"
I busied myself by reaching for my cat so I could bury my face in his fur and hide my blushing cheeks. I walked toward the kitchen and the door slammed shut behind me with a bang loud enough to hurt my ears. Startled, Heathcliff jumped from my arms. The little air cylinder thing at the top of the door, designed to close it automatically, needed adjusting or replacing, I wasn't sure which.
I half mumbled, half stammered, "Uh, come in, sorry…I forgot about the door."
He smiled a crooked half smile and I felt my heart drop to my feet. All the good I had done by meditating was for nothing. My head was dizzy and my heart was palpitating again. I think I was breaking out in a sweat too. At least I had the presence of mind to stifle the lustful groan that threatened to worm its way out of my mortified mouth when I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing in the middle of my lounge room, looking like some long forgotten God of sex, surrounded by my tasteful 'shabby chic' furniture - for which, by the way, I developed a taste before Sarah Jessica Parker did in Sex and the City.
"It's hot in here…" I fanned my face guiltily. "How do you have your tea?"
"Sweet and creamy like my women." He murmured.
I thought for sure that I was going to have a heart attack. What little presence of mind I had prided myself on retaining, promptly fled.
"Uh, um…so that's one spoon of sugar or two?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
"Three."
He stood behind me and trying not to pay attention to how close he was, I put the kettle on the stove. I tried to light the burner but my hands were shaking so much I had as much chance of igniting it as I did of being able to perform brain surgery.
"Here, let me." He said, and he took the matches from my hands.
"Ow!" My finger stung where I had scalded it on my tea earlier.
He furrowed his brows and held my hands. "Did I hurt you?"
I shook my head and tried to pull my hand out of his grip. His calloused skin felt like sand paper rubbing on my burned finger and it freaking killed! God! It was excruciating!
"No." I said, quickly, "You didn't hurt me."
I faked a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.
He narrowed his gorgeous eyes slightly and looked at me again, as though I was a seventeen year old drunk driver.
Oh ye gads…I think I'm going to ... le gasp!
"Show me."
I blinked, "Huh?"
"Your hand." He said.
