Stoned 2

Spring had sprung. The season of new growth, warm days, and sunny skies. Flowers were blooming and the grass was growing faster than you could cut it. Each day the air smelt fresh and clean with nature drifting past on very errant breeze.

And those damned errant breezes were blowing pollen up my nose and into my eyes and down my throat leaving me with puffy eyes, runny nose, and sore throat. I went to the pharmacist for hay-fever medication and it had exactly zero effect. I finished up going to see my doctor and whining piteously.

With prescription in hand it was back to the pharmacy. The medicine was produced with the following warnings. Not more than the stated dosage. I knew that. I don't abuse medicine. Take it after a meal. That I could do. I was already hungry. No alcohol while taking the medicine. Still not a problem as I wasn't a big drinker. So give me the damn stuff before I expire. Hay-fever can be lethal, you know. One last thing, it may make you sleepy. Don't drive it makes you tired. So I'll stay home and sleep if required. Give. Me. The. Pills.

I headed triumphantly home, pills in hand. In my pocket, actually, but I see no reason to be pedantic. I had lunch. I took a pill. Capsule, actually, if you have to be pedantic. My nose cleared. I stopped crying. I could see normally. My throat stopped hurting. I praised the doctor, the pharmacist, the medicine, and all those people at the drug companies who spend their lives working to make me feel better.

I stepped out into the back yard and took a big breath of pollen scented air, held it, then let it out. It smelt marvellous and no hay-fever. Did I feel tired? No! I felt alive, ready to take on the world. I decided to go for a run, rejoicing in good health and extra energy.

I headed towards the path at the side of the house, taking a mental note to do something about the fence when I got back. There was a small hole in the fence, nothing that I couldn't fix, especially as Mike, the guy next door, would be paying for the materials. I considered that only reasonable as it was his car that drove through the fence. He was lucky he didn't damage any uprights. I would only need to put in new crossbeams and re-nail the existing panels.

Taking a closer look at the hole I noticed that Mike's car wasn't there, meaning that he was probably down at the pub, it being a Saturday and all. I also noticed that Renee, Mike's wife was home. She was taking advantage of the fine weather to both hang out some washing and get a tan. She was working on the tan by wearing a fetching little bikini. Renee was in her early twenties and a fetching little thing. She was a real little honey, with honey-blonde hair, and working on a honey coloured tan.

I wandered through the fence to say hullo to Renee.

"Hi, Renee. I was just admiring the hole Mike punched in the fence. I'll do a patch on that later today."

"Oh, hi, Steve. Um, it wasn't Mike, you know," she said with a blush.

Her blush deepened when I raised an eyebrow.

"I hit reverse instead of first," she mumbled. "Mike was rather scathing."

I just laughed. Not a problem. All was right with my world.

"How are you feeling, Steve? Your hay-fever seems to have gone."

"Indeed it has. Gone and forgotten. I feel the way you look. Absolutely wonderful."

"Ah, I see," she said, sounding a little doubtful. "You seem in rather exuberant spirits."

"Just happy at being rid of the sniffles," I said, beaming. "I'm just bouncing with energy."

I looked at Renee. She really did look marvellous. She made that bikini look sensational. She'd be a wow at the beach.

"Ah, thank you," Renee said, looking puzzled.

"Excuse me?"

"I just said thanks. For the compliment to my bikini."

Had I complimented her bikini? I was pretty sure that I hadn't mentioned it. Still, she was right. It did look sensational. Could be improved though.

For some reason Renee was now giving me odd looks.

"Ah, how would you improve my bikini?"

Why was she asking me?

"Ah, I was just thinking it would look nice on a green background," I told her. Like lying on the lawn instead of hiding the nicer bits of a sensational figure. Pity I didn't have the nerve to ask her to take it off.

"Um, Steve, do you know you're thinking aloud?" Renee asked me, blushing.

Thinking aloud? What was she on about? People don't think aloud.

"They do if they're high and I think you're a little high, Steve."

"Fair go. I'm only a little over six feet. You can't call that high."

"I wasn't referring to your body height, Steve," came the dry comment.

She wasn't. Surely she hadn't referred to the fact that I had an erection. She was too nice to do such a thing. Although if she had I'd have to admit she was right.

"I was referring to you taking drugs, Steve," Renee said, sounding a little desperate. "Have you been taking pills of any sort?"

"What? Certainly not." I didn't do drugs or take pills. There again, there was that question about capsules. Were capsules included when people talked about pills?

"Steve, pills include capsules."

"Is that right? I was just wondering about that. Isn't it funny how people can both hit on the same question at the same time?"

"Yes, especially when one of them has verbal diarrhea. Have you been taking capsules?"

"Funny you should ask that. My new medication is in a capsule. I had one a short while ago. It makes me feel great."

"Riiight," she said, really drawing out the word. "I think you're going to need to talk to your doctor about adjusting the dosage. I'll remind you once you've landed."

Landed? What was she on about? The girl was acting most peculiar. First she thinks I'm high and now she thinks I'm going to land. I glanced up at the sky. No, I was definitely down here on the ground.

For some reason Renee had her hand on her face and was shaking her head. Maybe she was feeling faint. What do you do if someone was feeling faint? Oh, I knew the answer to that.

I stepped smartly around Renee while she was trying to recover from what must be a dizzy spell and flicked open the fastening to her bikini top. Ignoring her startled squawk I lifted it over her head and tossed it onto the grass.

"That better?" I asked her. "It must have been too tight, causing you to lose your breath. Maybe you should start wearing it a little looser."

Or don't wear one at all. Her breasts were one of nature's marvels. I could look at them for ages. Damn. Why'd she go and fold her arms over them. I wonder if they taste as nice as they look. Pity she still had on the bottom half. Mind you, that looked to be pretty tight as well. Would it help her breathing if I took them down? Better to be safe, I guess.

Renee gave a squeak and her hands dropped down to grab hold of her bikini. This left her breasts on display again and my eyes swivelled towards them, drawn as if by magnets.

What would she do if I started nibbling on those breasts? Maybe if I caught her nipple in my mouth and sucked on it. Would she slap me? Probably, but it would be worth it.

One arm came up and covered her breasts again. Damn it. It was as if she could hear my thoughts. What could I do without thinking?

Smiling and keeping my mind perfectly blank I reached out and pulled down her bikini, snatching it out of her fingers and running it down to her ankles. Ha. She hadn't expected that.

"Steve, you're stoned. Your medicine is having a reaction and you don't realise what you're doing. You should go home and lie down."

Lie down. The woman had a good idea. Lying down seemed an excellent suggestion. I smiled at her, nodding. She seemed to relax now that we were agreed on something. Stepping forward I swept her off her feet and laid her on the grass, coming down next to her. It was her suggestion so I could only assume she wouldn't protest at me taking a few liberties.

My hands initially went to her breasts, enjoying the soft weightiness of them. Deciding taste would be better that touch I captured the nearest one with my mouth, freeing my hands to find other interesting place. Renee was making funny squeaking sounds and pushing at me, making what I suppose were the proper sounds of objections. I ignored these of course, knowing that they were only pro forma. After all, she was the one to suggest lying down.

I must say her body was responding amazingly well to my touch. Her nipples were erect, which meant I could catch them with my teeth and tease them. When my fingers happened to slide between her lips (which sure raised a furious pretend objection) I found she was hot and wet. The woman was certainly ready for a bit more personal attention.

I was wearing a tracksuit, having intended to go for a run before settling down to some work around the house. The nice thing about tracksuit pants is that they slide down so easily. Mine did in this instance that was for sure. My erection sprang out, ready and willing to do its part.

Renee gave a gasp when she spotted my cock standing forth, starting to swear something chronic. Somewhere in the noise she was making I heard her say, "Well fuck me. You're really going to." What do you expect? That's the sort of invitation that's hard for a man to turn down.

I rolled over on top of her, between her thighs and pressing my body to hers. She was writhing under me, making me work to line up my cock, but eventually I was in position and gave a little push. Maybe it was a bit more than a little, that push. I slid into her with no problems. She gave a groan of delight and seemed to relax while I finished pressing home.

After that it was all straight forward and quite wonderful. What can be better than having an enthusiastic woman wrapped around your cock, matching you as you bring each other pleasure? I started moving slowly, feeling her pushing up to meet me. It was so good I decided that I was going to have to prolong this encounter.

Despite Renee pleading with me to hurry up and finish I kept up that same slow pace, slowly driving her frantic with need. It's surprising how long you can last when you have the incentive to just drag things out. Renee was muttering and swearing while she clung to me, her hips pushing up to meet me, trying her best to make me get on with it. I just laughed down at her, stringing her along, watching the passion building within her.

Eventually I had to finish. A pity, really, because I'd have loved to be able to keep going, but there is only just so much your body can take. I increased the speed, gradually at first, and then driving home for all I was worth. I'm not oblivious as to what was going on with my partner. I knew that she'd climaxed earlier but I was quite sure that I could push her over the edge in the grand finale to have a second one. So it proved, with Renee gasping and shuddering beneath me as I enjoyed my own climax.

I slumped down onto the ground next to Renee, breathing hard, feeling totally relaxed. So relaxed that I fell asleep.

I woke up and I had the impression it was the middle of the afternoon. Looking around I was puzzled to find that I had apparently been sleeping in Mike's backyard. Mike's my neighbour. I sat up and looked over at where Renee, Mike's wife, was sitting on a deckchair, reading a book.

"Ah, Renee, how come I'm lying in the middle of your yard asleep?"

"You don't remember?" she asked me.

"No," I confessed, shaking my head. "The last thing I remember was having lunch and taking the new antihistamines for my hay-fever, which appear to be working." I took a big breath, enjoying a clear nose and non-weeping eyes.

"You came staggering in here stoned out of your mind," Renee told me. "I suggest you see your doctor about the side effects of that medicine. You said you were going to fix the fence and then curled up and went to sleep."

Well, that explained the odd looks she was giving me.

"Um, yes, well, sorry about that. I'll go and see the doctor ASAP. I do remember that I intended fixing the fence today. Mike sure did a number on it, didn't he?"

"As a matter of fact no, he didn't. I did." Renee seemed relieved all of a sudden. Probably happy to confess her little boo-boo.

"No matter," I told her. "I'll just run down and pick up a new cross bar to replace the broken one. The palings are all OK. Probably won't do it until tomorrow though. I'd better go and contact my doc."

We said our goodbyes and I headed back to the house. I'd read the directions on the medicine and it said nothing about side-effects that left you stoned. Sleepy, possibly, but not stoned. For some reason Renee must have mistaken excess drowsiness for being stoned. People shouldn't try to diagnose medical conditions. They always get it wrong. I've never been stoned in my life.