If she inhaled any more than she had to, Kate thought, she would expire from the toxic fumes. But if, on the other hand, she held her breath for any longer, she would die from lack of oxygen. It was a lose-lose situation. Ah, hell. Since when did she have any situation other than that?
Kate inhaled. The shock of fifty different body odours, assorted animal stenches and various dog droppings immediately hit her in a gush of warm, stifling air. Kate sighed. Well, that was the subway for you. If you didn't end up getting run over, crushed into little bits by another colliding train, or mugged, that is, of course, if you weren't raped, maimed or killed by the numerous thugs who frequented the trains in the prior to that, you were likely to die anyway simply from lack of clean air.
Someone kneed her in the back. This wasn't as odd an occurrence as one might have thought - this business of being kneed in the back. Well, not quite kneed, exactly, but it was damn close. The jerk must be a giant. Kate was, and had always been, a small girl. At least vertically, anyway. Petite was the glamorised form of the description, but she was simply little. Ah, if only her hips were as little as the rest of her...
Kate swore as she lurched forward, smack into a large woman's chest, then turned around angrily prepared to snarl something insulting at the offender. Her eyes widened. Good god...he was huge! He towered over her, six feet and with a good few inches to spare. His hair was long, unkempt, hanging in dark scraggly tresses over his bristly, stubble covered face. His eyes were a vivid, brilliant green. And just then they were narrowed, looking over her assessingly. One dark, imperious brow was mockingly raised. Kate quickly rethought her priorities, and shut her jaw. She cleared her throat, and attempted a reasonable tone. She still wanted an apology – it was a matter of principle, after all, but perhaps she needn't be quite so forceful about it... Violence was not always the answer, after all.
She cleared her throat again. "Excuse me," she began. "Excuse me, but I think you kneed me in the back, before."
He didn't blink. "Did I? Sorry." He turned away.
Kate's eyes widened. Well, of all the nerve. He was probably a junkie, or a dealer at least, she decided viciously. Or perhaps one of those rude barmen who'd got thrown out of his job. She detested rude barmen. They were always demanding to see her ID. In any case, he certainly dressed like one of them. His clothes were bedraggled and dirty, and his rucksack had wholes in several places– good lord, was that a snake? Dear god, it was a snake! And it was alive. In fact, it was crawling, out of the rucksack, right onto his arm. Did he know it was there? No, of course not, stupid question. Who on earth would carry a snake in their rucksack? What should she do? Scream? No, although she felt like it, that would just be stupid. Oh, no. He had only one side facing her, and that was the side with the snake on it. She swallowed, and reached out to tap him on the shoulder.
His head swivelled. "Look, lady," he began impatiently. "I already apologised, alright? I'm sorry. What more do you want?"
"Uh," Kate began.
"What is it?" he snapped. "Come on, spit it out."
"Er, there's a snake on your arm – no...where'd it go? Oh my god, there's a snake on my arm!"
She panicked. There was no other word for it. In a matter of seconds she had created a whirlwind of chaos, women shrieking, people shouting, her flying around in terror, shaking her arm frantically and yelling, "Get it off, get it off!"
The man, finally, took charge. "Hold still!" he roared, grabbing her arms and trapping her against the wall of the train car. She was breathing rapidly, her face pale with terror, and he was crowding her, leaning in too close. Quickly, efficiently, he plucked the snake off her arm – it had wound itself there tightly – and dropped it back into his rucksack.
She didn't know how long he held her there, pinned against the wall, only that it was some time before she was finally released. He smelt good, she thought vaguely, her face somewhat buried in his neck. Clean, and male, with just the slightest hint of sweat. She'd always been a sucker for manly men, although Jake was probably an exception. But that was Jake. And this man was definitely manly.
Manly...whoa, what on earth was she thinking about? The snake had most definitely addled her brain. It was not the fact that there was a hard, lean, oh my god, aroused male body pressed against her. No, it was definitely the snake. The one that was in his rucksack, not his pants. It had probably even bit her. Yes, and now the poison was making her delusional, making her hallucinate. Great -poison - so she was probably going to die now, too. Just her luck. A wonderful end to a wonderful day. Aroused - ha! The day a man was aroused by her she'd eat her...well, she find something to eat. She just didn't really want to eat any of her hats.
The man finally lifted himself away from her. She'd stopped shaking, Kate realised. Must have been the realisation that she was going to die. They said imminent death did that to people. Made them fatalistically calm. She realised that her unlikely rescuer was speaking.
"My god," he was muttering. "Rescuing hysterical midgets. What next?"
Kate flushed red with indignation. "I am not a midget!" she said loudly. "I happen to be a little short, but that doesn't make me a midget. If anything, you're – you're a giant! Ha! A freakish giant, that's what you are! Midget, my foot."
"Sorry, dear," said the large lady next to her. "But you are rather tiny."
Kate muttered something incomprehensible and turned away. The rest of the trip was spent staring out the window at the same drab tunnel walls, taking in sporadic gulps of air.
By the time Kate got back to her apartment on fifty third she was well and truly irritable. She'd discovered her wallet had disappeared, somehow, on the train and had come to the conclusion that the Snake-Man, as she'd taken to calling him, had filched on. Probably to blow on drugs, she thought bitterly. She'd had almost the entire contents of this week's pay in there, having intended to go shopping for new clothes and to replenish her now empty fridge and pantry. The food was to have lasted her for a month – she always did her food shopping on the first pay day of each month. To make matters worse, now she'd have to cancel all her credit cards, and somehow get a new driver's licence too. She groaned. And to think she'd been having romantic fantasies about him!
She dumped her handbag on the table by the door, noticing grimly that it was open. There was a light flashing on her answering machine. She pressed the "play" button while she went into the kitchen to rummage for something to eat. She found a packet of dried noodles, opened them and munched while she listened to the messages.
"Kate," came Jake's voice on the machine. "I have a favour to ask you..."
Kate groaned. Jake was always asking favours. Perhaps this one would not be so bad, though.
* * *
Some days later Kate was rueing the day she'd ever met Jake.
Being plump, she thought as she stood in front of the unflattering mirror, was a decided inconvenience when one was trying to buy a bathing suit. She sighed mournfully. It was even more of an inconvenience when one was trying to make a man fall in love with her. She knew, of course, that she ought to be grateful God had not decided to give her worse, but that was small consolation when the man she loved was in love with a supermodel. Besides, Kate had never been too good with the whole "be grateful for what you've got" attitude. With another sigh she took one last look at the pink concoction wrapped around her too-curvaceous body, then began taking it off with resignation.
"Kate," Jake called from outside the dressing room. "Are you done yet?" She could just picture him glancing at his watch impatiently, trainers tapping against the floor of the swimsuit shop. She was luckly, Kate supposed, that Jake was her best friend. No one else she knew would have come swimsuit shopping with her...not that she knew many other people. But that was her problem. Men never seemed want to date her...it was just one long friendship after another...
"Almost," Kate replied, quickly pulling on her clothes. "I'm coming." She pulled back the curtains, and sure enough, Jake was tapping his foot, running a hand impatiently through his short blonde curls. Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, she headed towards the counter, aware Jake was following. "Did you find anything?"
"No," she said, somewhat shortly. "I'll try again later."
She heard Jake sigh behind her. "Kate, just buy something. It doesn't matter what it looks like - no one will care."
"Thanks, Jake," Kate said wryly. "I feel so incredibly comforted now."
Jake muttered something incoherent about women and their clothes. She ignored him.
"Well that was a waste of a day," Jake remarked, sliding behind the wheel of his car. Kate made a face but didn't reply. "At this rate you'll have to swim naked."
Suddenly furious, Kate rounded on him. "Its your fault, you doodlehead. I never wanted to go in the first place! If you hadn't dragged me into this mess!" A lie, she knew. She'd been rapt when Jake had asked her to come up and visit his brother with him, even though she knew he'd only been doing it to make Casey Laurens, aka, Miss I'm Such a Sex Kitten Won't You All Just Stare Stupidly At Me - jealous. Hell, she'd been glad that the "favour" hadn't included any plans to rob a bank...Jake was famous for his harebrained schemes. And any excuse to spend time with him was fine...except she hadn't realised that there was a beach and they'd be swimming...
Which had meant swimsuits. Kate hadn't worn a swimsuit in...five years? Since she was sixteen, in fact, and Bobby Brown had callled her ugly. She'd grown up since then...but her body still felt the same.
"You didn't have to agree to go," Jake pointed out. This too was a lie. He'd begged and pleaded with her for two days before she'd agreed, reluctantly, to come, posing as his girlfriend. If only it were true!
Figuring it was time to change the subject before Jake ran into something - he was notorious for bad driving, Kate remarked casually, "You never told me what the occasion was for your brother's house party."
