I had been lurking around the darker side of reddit for a long time. I did occasionally post things about myself, such as little snippets of my most shameful fantasies, or photos where you couldn't see my face.
I even had a couple of conversations with strangers, trying to build my confidence to actually tell someone what I wanted. But, even on a throwaway account, posting in these places seemed dangerous. Considering meeting someone, to me, seemed insane.
Most of my posts were quickly deleted, new contacts blocked the minute I stopped feeling horny, and the shame of what I had written came rushing in.
I had a couple of feeble attempts at exploring BDSM in real life. I even went to one of those clubs once, for an introduction event for newbies.
I wish I could say I went there with the same confidence I tried to exhume whenever I roleplayed online. But in reality, I spent most of my time there sitting at a table, nervously holding on to my cup of coffee, trying not to blush whenever someone would look at me.
Even though I tried to not draw attention, my very obvious shyness seemed to attract certain men.
Some of them came over to introduce themselves, to ask if I was new, and if I was doing ok. Part of me was excited, but mostly I felt terrified. A 32-year-old woman, sitting there in a pink skirt, hair in pigtails - I felt silly for dressing so innocently. I felt like everyone could see through me,like they knew why I came there in the first place. Like they could all tell what I wanted all of them to do to me - if I could only say it out loud.
But I couldn't, and I ended the night by excusing myself to use the restroom, and sneaking out the backdoor before anyone could stop me.
Home alone in my apartment I cursed myself for how I acted. I'd had so many opportunities, and all I could do was nod and smile, then run away like a frightened animal.
In frustration I sat down to write a story, one where I would try to be honest about what I really wanted. I knew I'd get a lot of responses, my posts usually do. Sometimes I reply, teasing the stranger on the other side of the screen. Toying with the idea of telling them my address, but never seriously considering it.
This time was different. I needed to do this, for real. I made myself a promise that if anyone even remotely close to where I lived replied to my post, and they said the right things, I would go through with it, no matter what.
That brings us to now.
You read my story, and something about it piqued your interest. There are plenty of stories here, but something about the way I write made you message me. You probably thought I'd help you cum. That you could use my filthy mind to get you off, and then forget about me. You never considered that I'd be one of the very few who were serious. Whose story wasn't really a story, but an ad, for someone like you to apply to. A script, for what I wanted someone like you, to do to me.
My story is about a seemingly innocent girl. A girl who blushes at the thought of a stranger seeing her naked. A girl with a secret. In my story the girl stops locking her door at night,. leaves her window ajar,. walks home alone, without checking over her shoulder, and sleeps without a blanket, wearing nothing but a thin pair of cotton panties.
In my story there's a man, who sees the girl. Who covets her, and watches her. Who follows her home, and night after night, comes closer to climbing through her window.
But not all of my story is true. Because I don't want you to be an intruder. I don't want you to be a creeper in the night who stalks women and breaks into their homes. I don't want you to be someone who hates women. What I want is someone I can trust, someone who could bring my deepest, darkest fantasies to life.
My story gets a lot of attention. It makes all the creepy crawlies come out of their dark hiding places.
"Hey slut I want to rape your holes."
"How old r u?"
"Have you ever been raped?"
"Tell Daddy about your trauma baby."
I ignore them all, nothing new, nothing original. No one says the right things. Then your message appears. Yours is polite. You tell me you''ve been told you have a nice voice, and you like to record yourself. If I want, you could talk me through my fantasies. You end with, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
I've never done that before. I'm intrigued, and I reply, "Hi. This sounds interesting."
And you say, "I'm glad you like my proposal. Where can we talk?"
I give you my telegram, the one which doesn't have a single contact, yet has been given to so many guys the last couple of months. All of them blocked after our initial brief encounter.