I hated to be late but it was not a part of town I was familiar with. It is hard to look for directions when a voice inside your head keeps saying again and again, "this is crazy, this is stupid." I had told her I'd be there at 10:00 when her son was asleep. It was 10:30.
I had stopped on the way at the adult bookstore and bought a ball gag and a set of Velcro ties, and then had driven past the turn off. The area was depressing, only off brand corner stores because the big chains wouldn't come into the area, they kept in business mainly by cashing welfare checks for malt liquor.
I finally pulled into one, to ask for directions. I had already bought condoms, but for some reason the freezer case caught my eye. I got two Popsicles, and went to the counter to pay for them and find out where she was. I ended up looking at the map book to find her place.
***************
RapeFantasyM- I've done this before, I will respect your safe word. I practice safe sex. Come on lets do it.
FireGurlF- But you are married...
RapeFantasyM- Don't you want this? I know you do. It will not hurt anyone-least of all us.
FireGurlF- But what about your wife?
RapeFantasyM- That's not what I asked you.
FireGurlF- Ummm..do I at least get to know what you look like?
RapeFantasyM- No
******************
I had actually overshot her place, and had to double back. It was hard to read the numbers on the apartments, so I had to circle it around twice. I kept looking at my scrawl on the sheet of paper, her address.
I tried to be quiet, but my heart was pounding in my ears. I couldn't have heard a marching band.
I had the items, my rape kit, and the Popsicles all in a bag. It was awkward to hold all that, and the bags rustling seemed very loud. I would have to open the door one handed. I hesitated by the door, and then saw a neighbor come out. I realized I looked like a burglar, standing afraid to go in. I had to go forward or flee. I wasn't leaving without what I came for.
The keys were in the mailbox. It took me about five minutes to get the right key in the correct lock. Then the door stuck. So much for being quiet. I kept thinking that no one would leave the keys in the mailbox except her, that this had to be the correct place. Trying to convince myself. The apartment was small, a kitchen and living room downstairs, two bedrooms and a bathroom up. There was no light on downstairs. But a street light shining in the back door showed me a tidy little room, cleaned up. When I saw it with the lights on I'd realize how everything was second hand.
I locked the door behind me and left the keys on the stairs. I waited until I was more adjusted to the dark and heard something from upstairs. The door to one bedroom was cracked open, and I saw the feet of a little boy-twisted in the covers. He moaned in his sleep, said some indistinct words and I froze, two stairs from the top.
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FireGurlF- what should I wear?
FireGurlF- what time will you be here, can it be after 10:00 when my son is asleep?
FireGurlF- what should I have ready?
FireGurlF- what should I do before you get there?
RapeFantasyM- You're babbling. Shush. I'll send you and email. Follow the instructions.
FireGurlF- Please spell out what you want. (smiles)
RapeFantasyM- It doesn't matter what you do, I am raping you, remember? (evil grin)
FireGurlF- whooo hoo! (giggle)
*******************
I kept going, up to the top of the stairs. Her bedroom door was closed. It was pitch black inside as I opened it. She was very careful about how she arraigned the blinds to shut out the outside lights. I closed it behind me, not wanting to disturb her sons' uneasy slumber. I heard her catch her breath very softly, then nothing.
She had to have seen me. My big silhouette in the doorway. I waited, but it was so dark my eyes could not adjust. And I couldn't wait much longer. I stepped carefully forward, dropping the bag on the floor, then my jacket on top of it. Both noises seemed to shake the silent house.
I finally reached the bed, and put my hand out. A leg under the covers, a loud gasp.
I fell forward, crushing her with my weight. Somehow I found my hands locked around her wrists, but she didn't struggle. "Suzy?"
She had to swallow before she could answer. "Yes,"
I grinned in the dark. It was her, and she wanted it...wanted me.
I ripped off the covers, and there she was. Panties first, off in one tear. Then her shirt. They were old, frayed, I'd told her not to wear anything she cared about. But she hadn't realized how strong I was, how could she over the Internet. Each rip was accompanied by her gasp, by the realization that I was stripping her bear.
She fought like a wildcat, now, not scratching by agreement, but she was all elbows and knees. I had wrestled in high school, I knew to just use my weight and ride her. I hooked one leg under her and kept trying to grab her hands. She twisted side to side, tried to roll over.
I grabbed at her breasts, pinching them, and she would push my hands away. I tried to kiss her, and she'd turn her sweet lips from me. I'd grab her hair and force her to turn her head back, but she'd bite her mouth closed.
I hadn't been able to get my clothes off. We were both breathing hard, covered in sweat. I decided to let her roll over. She got to her belly and tried to get her feet under her, to get off the bed and out the door. I let her get one foot on the floor and then lifted her in the air. She made a little "oooooh" sound, surprised to find herself in the air for a second, thrown back on her belly.
I put one arm under hers in a half nelson, and grabbed a handful of hair to keep her still. I put my legs between hers, and spread them open, my jeans grinding her ass. I reached down to her hot center with my free hand. "Oooooh, no. No, don't. No."
I grinned as I put another finger in. She moved, but not as hard as she could have. "You like it, don't you?"
She remembered she was supposed to resist. She began to buck, to really fight again. But I had had enough.
I reached down and undid my belt buckle and she fought harder, thinking I was undressing and it was her chance. I took off the belt buckle and with one hand and my teeth made it into a loop again. When she felt it going over her head she tired to get an arm up to her neck to block it. I dug a knuckle into her side, and she automatically dropped her hand.
The belt slid down around her neck. She tried to fit her hand under it, but I pulled it tight, choking her. It was locked onto her now. She wouldn't be able to get it off. She was on her belly, and I had my ankles locked around hers and one hand on the slack of the belt tugging it, the other on her neck. She put the fingers of both hands under the belt, and I tightened.
She then struggled wildly. She would fight so hard, pulling the violence out of me. I jerked the too belt tight, and she made a wet coughing noise. Her body wracked with coughs, her hands at her mouth, her lungs seeming not to find any air.
I let her have some slack. But didn't let go.
"Say something. Say the safe word. Say you want a drink of water." I wasn't scared, but I knew I'd come close to hurting her. And my tone of voice said we would stop until I was sure she was safe.
She took in a couple of breaths. I stroked her hair with one hand, letting her know I could wait. She coughed again, but in a normal fashion. I looked at her body in the dark...her pale skin glowing against the dark sheets. She was beautiful.
"We are stopping until you say something, bitch." It just seemed right to say it that way.
She smirked, and her eyes met mine. "Fuck. You."
In the dark I grinned back. I wanted her suddenly. Wrestling her naked body had made me want her, but it was now an overpowering urgent need have her, to take her. To kiss that fucking smirk off her lips. The Popsicles were melting on the floor.
