I curled up in a tight ball on the sofa, my shower damp skin cooling rapidly, unlike my emotions. I was so tired of all. The changes, the uncertainty. Feeling angry, confused and drained was becoming commonplace. The exhaustion felt like it had set into my bones. Luca's furious expression from the previous evening was still etched in my mind. It was causing me no end of pain and humiliation. How could I have been so stupid? Whatever I thought he and I shared, whatever I had hoped...gone. An orgy with his brothers had clearly put a stop to anything further between us. I couldn't have refused, Luca knew that. Hope was poisonous to someone in my position. I had been letting it rise more and more in my chest every day, I hadn't noticed. Now, as my body shook with wracking sobs, I pushed it away and prayed that it was done with.
Kinsey was furious, her jaw clenching continually. She left the room soon after I calmed to yell at Caleb for not telling her that Luca was coming. A warning would have been nice, but when she returned, still scowling, she said Caleb had already left. Once my hair was dry, my eyes felt sore and heavy. I convinced Kin's we should sleep and deal with everything tomorrow. With a shattered heart and a heavy soul, I crawled into bed. Eventually, I slept, that passed out sleep of the dead and was grateful not to dream.
The morning brought the glorious aroma of tea and toast. The smell always lifted me, making something inside me smile. My heart was still in tatters but there was nothing I could do and sleep had reduced my devastation to a heavy ache. Kinsey was fuming still and had already been to Mira's office. I was upset at her for endangering herself, anything could have happened. The office had been empty, a blessing. Making things weirder, our home generally speaking was quiet.
We settled into a familiar routine and then we exercised. Returning back to our rooms to relax a few hours later was pleasant but the sharp knock on the door was unexpected.
Bren entered with an excited grin.
"You need to sit down," he said, jumping onto the sofa.
He was excited yet apologetic, the nervous wringing of hands made me twitchy. It's like he didn't know what to do with himself.
"I have received word from my contact who works with Luca."
I perked up immediately. My back straightened, but only for a moment as the memory from last night surfaced. It left me feeling nauseous.
"Finally!" Kinsey yelled, scaring me out of my skin as she grabbed my arm. Bren grinned and shuffled forward in his seat finally settling into a stable emotion.
"Firstly, Dee. Luca sends his deepest apologies and regrets that you've been caught up in the middle of all this. Last night was an unfortunate and deliberately hurtful experience constructed by Mira. He wanted me to let you know and this is from him, 'that it was not how it seemed. He doesn't hold any of it against you and he was trying to maintain his composure. Ignorance at that moment was required. All will be explained soon'," he finished, his eyes alight with hope.
"Well, that still explains nothing," said Kin's flatly. Folding her arms defensively across her bosom she huffed.
"I am aware," said Bren, flashing another grin. "Second, they need you both to remain calm and maintain the roles you play. No acting out or making a fuss; the next twenty-four hours are crucial."
I looked at Kins, who shrugged. Caleb hadn't let on either. I shifted in my seat, trying to get comfortable.
"Is there anything you can actually tell us?" I asked impatiently.
"Anything useful?" Kin's added.
"The only thing he said was: 'Don't judge what you see, all is not as it seems.' That things are going to get, difficult and... interesting before this all ends but to stick with it, okay? "
We would know more soon but wasn't sure I could be patient until then. I would try, I promised myself. The hope that I'd buried earlier tried to crawl out of its box but I slammed the lid closed. The voice inside whispered that I wasn't strong enough to go there yet. Kin's sat back with a huff as she was unable to think of any further action to take. My friend had many virtues, but, patience was not amongst them. I could see frustration bubbling underneath the surface. With nothing to do but wait and see, I resigned myself to it.
Bren left, more lacklustre than he'd begun, the initial excitement had been worn away. Our less than enthusiastic reactions hadn't helped. We sat going over the information or lack thereof until the end of dinner. I picked at my food due to a knot in my stomach that wouldn't abate. Kinsey, however, ate her stress and after three pieces of cake, she looked positively green.
I felt better that Luca didn't hate me but I was still confused about the "in the middle of all this." I thought I was "all this" but apparently not. Something bigger was going on, though we could only guess at what.
Later that evening, Kinsey primped to go to Caleb while I dressed for my clients. My routine was mechanical. I was numb with but also confused and anxious at the same time, I went through the motions uncaring. That was until Kinsey put some music on and I started to relax. My forest green one-piece hugged all the right places, my makeup was flawless and the shoes divine. I stared at myself in the mirror, my expression and mood approving. I had highlighted the mossy greens of my suit with my eyeliner and it made the blue of my eyes vibrant. I twisted my foot to admire my shoe choice, a spectacular five-inch heel in green satin. Kinsey nodded her approval as she admired my choice from her dressing table and I left shortly after.
The session was easy, the client pleasant. It was on leaving the room that the evening changed. Bren was waiting outside for me in the empty corridor. His loose, soft grey outfit complemented his pale, anxious pallor. He looked so stressed, it made me instantly anxious but also peaked my curiosity, was this it? Was this what we'd been waiting for?
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked as I wrapped my robe tighter around me in response to his troubled face, my toes curling in my slippers.
"The superior has placed me in Silver and it looks like I'm going to be there all night. I have to be at Mira's office in five minutes, but I also have to get back down there." His eyes darted around checking we were still alone. Closing his eyes he took a deep steadying breath.
"I need you to go there for me. I can't be in two places at once and my absence will be noted. Go to her office, knock on the door and wait; someone will answer. They will give you something and you need to take it downstairs to Black; Caleb will take it."
He took another deep breath and stared at me, his eyes willing me to comply. My fists clenched the soft material of my robe, dread rising as I considered what to do. The comfort of the gesture, the feel of the material didn't help at all. Bren's hand found mine, the gesture reassuring and comforting.
Kinsey could do this, not me, I was not this person. She was the brave one. A million thoughts flooded my brain distracting me from having to commit to this task.
"He'll be expecting you, tell him plans changed." Intense chocolate eyes bored into mine.
"it is imperative that you do this, Dee. You cannot stop, don't give it to anyone and don't tell anyone, understand?" his other hand gripped my shoulder as his whisper echoed in the silent space.
I nodded, bewildered and still scared, but agreed, "Yes, I understand..." and began to ask who I was meeting but he cut me off with an urgent nod.
"Go, now." his words hard as his hand slipped from me. The touch was more reassuring than it should have been and I realised that panic had been rising in my gut.
I walked as fast as I could to the other side of the house and made my way up the stairs. My heart raced in my chest at the absolute surety in my bones that I would be caught. I wasn't supposed to be up here and though I trusted Bren, it put me on edge.
Just breathe, I told myself, Bren knew what he was doing...
The doors were huge and made of something dark and hard. The low light made it difficult to see any detail which made me feel a little safer. The Superior's desk was empty, but for how long? The shadows felt like a blanket, shrouded me from sight. I knocked lightly, hoping that it would be heard and I wouldn't have to knock louder. I stood there and it seemed like forever. The flicker of moonlight from a window of the dim corridor was starting to creep me out. It was like a ghost watching my unauthorised activity as the silence continued.
When the door finally moved, I jumped a mile. My hand reached for my heart as if to catch it escaping my chest but a bigger shock came next. I hadn't been sure of whom to expect, but when I recognized who opened the door I stared. Luca, wearing only a blanket wrapped around his waist. I took in his gorgeous form and stared and stared. I could feel my jaw hanging open, my heart like a hummingbird in my chest. What the hell? I lost my words for what felt like an age but was only seconds. Something moved in the corner of my eye and my blood started to boil; Mira lay naked on her bed, looking spent. He was sleeping with her! With that evil, vile...!!
My internal tirade demonstrated I had definitely absorbed Kinsey's more colourful vocabulary. I met his eyes; the only thing stopping the words from leaving my mouth was the fear of disturbing her. Somewhere in my rage, I realized that would be very bad for me. Anger swept through me, it not being my natural disposition it fizzled to a suppressed roar. It changed quickly into self-doubt and pain, a betrayal that throbbed somewhere behind my ribs.
Minutes had passed as I calmed, and I took a second to look at him, he didn't seem happy. Good, that made two of us and Yes, I was being petulant. 'Everything isn't as it seems', Bren's voice in my mind. Well, this seemed self-explanatory; he was looking at me intently. Was that adoration? His beautiful eyes were shadowed by sorrow and regret; I could feel it and that helped me to deal with it all.
I was still irritated but less so. The panic that had been displaced by rage was now back. With that, the urgency returned. I had a job to do.
"Bren couldn't make it so he sent me. You have so much explaining to do - I can't even..." My words were low and harsh. I could feel a Kinsey style rant brewing and took a deep breath as he passed me something small and metallic. The silence was deafening. Whether for fear of waking Mira or the reluctance to make things worse, I didn't know but he stayed quiet.
I turned to leave, slipping on the polished floor. Luca grabbed my hand, it was so brief, I thought I'd imagined it. His skin was warm, his grip firm and something in me relaxed. There was tenderness there. I was so confused. He had so much explaining to do.
I turned for one last look. Our eyes locked and some emotion shone from behind those deep hazel eyes. I nodded again that I understood, there would be time later. I tried for a smile but I could hear the bitch moving on the bed and my stomach roiled. My body betrayed how much I cared that the woman who had me tortured had touched him. A weird possessiveness washed over me as the door clicked shut, he wasn't mine and I shouldn't feel that way. I moved, walking quickly down the stairs and then down the corridor towards Black. I was glad for my thick robe, as it was all that stood between me and the cool air. I wrapped it tighter around myself as I moved; the last few minutes were like a storm in my mind. Kinsey was going to pitch a fit.
I knocked on the door to Black but there was no answer. Assuming this visit was to be a secret I let myself in and went into the back room. Kinsey and Caleb were entwined, lounging naked with only a dark silk blanket to cover them. The intimacy of the moment took me back for a second. It was like I was in their bedroom rather than a BDSM fantasy-scape in a pleasure house.
"Dee?" Kinsey exclaimed, starting to unwind herself from the silk. I shook my head, finger to my lips in a prompt for her to whisper.
"Caleb, I was told you needed this?" I said and crossed over to him.
"Yes, thank you." The smile didn't light his eyes; they were troubled. His hand grasped the small item and he seemed relieved like it was more precious than gold.
"Get back now, okay?" His tone urgent, "This will be all over soon."
I nodded wrapping my arms around myself. Relief flooded through me as I turned to leave.
