Notes from the author:
Well my lovelies, thank you so much for sticking with me through my first publication on Lit. I have been writing this story for over a year! I can't believe it. But I feel that the pace I set for myself (one chapter a month) has kept things alive and allowed me to store up creative juices for a while, and then share them with all of you. Otherwise, I very likely would have run out of steam and the story would have ended weakly, if at all. Thank you to all those who have been understanding and supportive and appreciative of my rather isolated genre of kink. I hate spoilers, so I will only say thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think in the comments! Happy New Year! -J
*****
It's funny how life throws you curve balls. And how sometimes it throws you over a cliff with nothing but a sock to break your fall.
As I stared out at the thunderous ocean waves, I tried to clear my mind. I closed my eyes, letting the serene ocean's song penetrate my ears, the mist fill my lungs, and the vibrations run through me. And naturally, I thought of Joe. I had always sucked at meditation.
When I awoke this morning I was stunned to find myself still clothed in the robe from last night. This was the first time I had woken up in Joe's arms not buck naked as the day I was born. He had held me close to him all night long.
God, Joe's arm had to be numb after hours in this position, I thought. But he seemed content as could be, sound asleep. I took a moment to appreciate his fuzzy warmth and panty-dropping musk before I snuck out of bed to enjoy the last pinks of the sunrise.
When finally the blue had claimed the last of the sky, I heard the sliding door open as Joe emerged to join me on the balcony.
"Good morning," he greeted softly, taking the chair beside me.
"Morning," I replied, just as softly.
My hair was blowing all over the place, and I wrapped it up behind me to tame it. I couldn't look at him. And this time it was for an entirely different reason.
We sat there for several minutes in silence, just staring out at the rippling waves.
"You're letting me go, aren't you?" I asked, although it was not really a question.
A few moments passed before Joe answered.
"I think it's best."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. Just breathe Kate. Just breathe. You were expecting this. You knew this was coming and you made your peace with it. Right?
Nope.
My forehead and ears were buzzing, and tears were dangerously close. I needed to get out of here before I broke down in front of Joe. I couldn't let him see me cry.
Unfortunately, I would not be able to get inside without passing him. I made a break for it.
Joe must have sensed my distress, because he tried to snatch my hand as I scurried by him. I dodged him and shoved the door open as fast as I could, neglecting to shut it because I knew Joe was already on my tail.
"Kate!" Joe admonished. "Kate, don't be upset. This is for the best," Joe explained, trying to rationalize like I was a little girl.
I ignored him, looking for something to wear other than the robe. I managed to find the long pink dress in the coat closet, which had a cleaning tag on it. Nice touch, I thought bitterly.
Without a word, I took the dress and locked myself in the bathroom to change. Fuck him. Fuck him. There was no way I was letting Joe watch as I changed from his fucking robe into his fucking dress.
I looked in the mirror after shimmying quickly into the dress. My face was flushed. It was obvious that I was upset, on the verge of tears. That I was angry.
Angry about what Kate? Angry that he doesn't want to marry you and take you away to his castle? Angry that he doesn't want to be tied down? That he doesn't need to be tied down? That he is too good for you?
Breathe Kate. It's the only way you'll get through this. I sucked in air through my nose, and leaned my head back to look at the ceiling, blinking away tears.
I brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face before emerging from the bathroom.
"Where's my stuff?" I asked brusquely. I hated feeling like a pouty little girl, like I was the one being unreasonable.
Joe winced, and just as I was expecting him to say he threw my stuff overboard, he reached up to the top shelf of the closet and pulled down a gold gift bag, handing it to me.
"Cute," I smirked as I took it from him and withdrew my phone, wallet, and key.
Re-depositing them into my purse, I took a moment to remove the necklace Joe had gifted me with only yesterday. I loved it, but it wouldn't be right to take it.
"Kate, please keep it," Joe pleaded.
"Why Joe? So I can be constantly reminded of you? So I won't forget this disaster of a vacation?" I scoffed. "I assure you Joe, I will not soon forget you. I don't think it will be possible to forget you." The words were tender, but my tone was bitter.
"Jesus Kate, will you just be reasonable? I guarantee you'll be better off without me," Joe argued, becoming visibly agitated.
"Reasonable? I think I was perfectly reasonable before we met Joe. Before you fucking ruined me! If I am lacking reason at all, you have only yourself to blame. You take your fucking necklace, and I'll take what's left of my dignity, and my heart!"
With that, I turned and stormed to the door.
"Kate wait!" Joe snapped.
I paid him no mind, and had just unbolted the door when he grabbed me and spun me around to face him.
Before I knew what I was doing, my hand had made sharp contact with Joe's face. I slapped him with all the force I could muster.
"Fuck!" Joe cursed before pinning my arms, and forcing me against the door.
"Let me go you bastard! Just let me go!" I screamed, all the while becoming moist between my legs at the feel of the hard cold door against my back.
"I don't want to let you go damn it! But I have to!" Joe shouted back at me.
I ceased my struggling, overwhelmed by his words.
"Don't you see Kate? I can't protect you. I promised to protect you, and I failed!"
Joe leaned forward and closed his eyes, our foreheads touching.
"I failed," Joe choked, his hands loosening on my arms.
"What do you mean you failed?" I asked. "Scott's attack on me wasn't your fault."
"Not from Scott," Joe replied darkly. "From myself."
My eyes widened at his shocking declaration.
"You undo me Kate. You strip me of my control, and when you do, I am powerless to protect you."
For several seconds, there was silence.
"Maybe I don't want your protection," I whispered finally. "Maybe what I want is for you to kiss me."
Before Joe could pull away, I leaned forward and kissed him deeply on the lips.
Suddenly Joe released my arms, and I took the opportunity to wrap them around his neck, running my fingers through his hair. I enjoyed his muffled groan as I did so.
Joe's hands moved to my sides, grazing my breasts and making me moan wantonly into his mouth.
"Kate don't," Joe gushed as he pulled away, clearly trying to regain his senses. "I can't hold back. If you do this, I can't hold back!"
