I guess I'm still confused about my first experience with a man. There are still a lot of questions in my mind. Did I lose my virginity? Was it rape? Did I enjoy it? I've played it over and over in my head. Again and again, often changing minor details to avoid the pain or fantasize about the pleasure. You see it happened so quickly, so unexpectedly. In fact, I was half asleep when it started.
I was 18 years old and completely inexperienced when it came to sex, and for that matter, in just about every other area of adult life. My mother raised me on her own; my father divorced her and disappeared when I was quite young. She was a good mother, though I had to be somewhat independent and spent a lot of time on my own at home because she worked 2 jobs to keep us in a decent apartment. She dated a number of men after my father, usually bringing them home on weekends and the occasional overnighter but never shacked up with any of them. She always said we were better off on our own. Her boyfriends didn't really bother me. After all, they usually left early in the morning after spending a noisy night in my mother's bed. I knew enough about sex that I understood my mother had needs, and at times they seemed considerable. She usually appeared refreshed after a night of fucking her ass off while the boy friends were sometimes worse for wear.
My sex drive was just beginning to kick in around this time. I guess you could call me a late bloomer. It was only in the past year that my body had finally developed into its womanly form. I was about 5' 4" tall and weighed 115 pounds. My 36c breasts were perky and I could fit into a tight pair of 24" jeans. I had long dark hair to the center of my back. My skin was milky white. As the "new Sarah" developed (that's me), the boys at school started to roam my body with their eyes and hit on me at my locker, something that had never occurred in the past. Perhaps this is why I started to fantasize about who my first boy would be? Would it be somebody from my classes or somebody I had yet to meet. I would stay up late on a Friday night, when my mother was out on the town, and watch the more adult oriented movies on TV. Nothing explicit mind you, but some very hot love scenes that got my juices flowing. I started to explore my own body and was just learning what felt good.
It happened on a Saturday morning. I had stayed up late the night before watching a hot coming of age movie that had me playing with clit half way through. When it was over I undressed and went to bed. My mother and boy friend arrived home shortly after. I heard them go into her bedroom and shut the door. It was a hot night and I had left my door open to get some of the cross breezes flowing through the house. It had occurred to me that I was completely naked, laying on top of my bed covers, for anyone passing by my door to see. But I had done it before (my mother and I were always around the house either completely undressed on in our underwear) and nothing had come of it. Besides, I had known my mother's boyfriend for about a year now and he seemed like a decent guy. He had probably started going out with my mother about the time my body started to blossom. I had noticed him glancing at me over the breakfast table a couple of times recently but didn't pay much attention. He was a handsome black man and well built like an athlete. My mother knew how to pick them.
