It was two weeks before Christmas once again, and Santa Claus awoke in his fluffy bed to discover that he hated Christmas. He was tired of spoiled little brats and their presents, reindeer, chimneys, and stale chocolate chip cookies and lukewarm milk. It was the middle of the night, and not a creature was heard, except for the light snoring of Mrs. Claus beside him. Her generous bosom heaved rhythmically, her rosy mouth agape and inviting. Santa rolled over, his candy cane gently poking Mrs. Claus in her hefty backside. It had been ages since Santa had gotten any, and he had a feeling that his disgust with spreading joy to others stemmed from his own lack of satisfaction. Why should he want to make other people happy, when he had to resort to elf and reindeer fantasies to get off?
Mrs. Claus didn’t respond, but only snorted and rolled over, as she had hundreds of times before. Santa had had enough. Frigid old bitch, Santa thought angrily. Fuck the children of the world, and fuck spreading joy. Santa knew exactly what he wanted to spread.
Christmas Eve arrived quickly with the usual excitement and flurry of activity. Santa went about the usual routine of preparing, loading, and directing the little elfin bastards that Santa had grown to detest so much. His sled took flight as it had hundreds of times before, and Santa beamed with mischief. Behind his jolly face, Santa compiled his Christmas list: perfect mouth, perfect tits, and a perfect ass. Nice? Definitely not. I want a naughty little bitch, Santa decided.