Author's Note: Constructive comments and/or critiques are welcomed. Otherwise I don't care what you have to say, especially if you post anonymously. Just shows how spineless you are about backing up your own words...
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Santa's Helper
The holidays were here, and that meant time to do community things. Help the less fortunate, and work in fundraisers to get money for charities, things like that. I sometimes wondered why only the end of the year was the only time the focus was truly on such efforts, that they should be year-round, but that was for another time. This year, my community group was helping a charity get toys for children of military families. They needed a helper, to play one of Santa's people, elves, I guess you could say, to move children along, get them to smile, and generally do what things needed to be done. So I volunteered, thinking what I could do worse for a Saturday, and the answer turned out to be plenty.
The uniform I was asked to wear was like one would see at the Santa's picture booth in a shopping mall. Short red and white skirt, black boots, a jacket, and a Santa hat. I was late doing my shopping, and struck out when I went to get the right kind of outfit at a costume store, and so when I called the event organizer, she said not to worry, that she had something I could use, and to come over. I made the cross-town trip and made the pick up, the poor woman obviously harried as it was so close to the event, that I didn't even bother to examine the costume. I just grabbed it with a wave and went home. It was there I found that I had a small problem. It didn't fit.
It was so small, it didn't really fit anywhere. The skirt waistband, I could actually squeeze into, if I held my breath, but the hemline was way too short, despite the fur along the bottom. My husband loved it, as it only came part-way down my butt, and left the lower third of my cheeks exposed, not to mention my vulva, but there was just no way it was going to work. The jacket was even worse, in that no matter how hard I exhaled, the buttons were just not going to allow it to close around my 34C breasts. In short, the costume was just too small! Taking everything off, and standing there in just my panties, I hmm'd and hawed over how to fix it, when my husband piped up.
"Just wear something close... the kids aren't going to care, they're going for Santa, not you!" As his common sense approaches went, his words of wisdom were quite right, and who would care what I wore? I mean, if I wore blue jeans and down parka, it wasn't like I was going to get complaints. Besides, I was volunteering, and it wasn't like I could get fired, so I folded the costume up, and began to dig through my own wardrobe.
The easiest thing to solve was the black boots. I was going to wear mine anyways, so it was merely a matter of pulling my black patent-leather stiletto boots from the back of the closet and giving them a quick once-over. Or, in this case, dusting the darn things off. Setting them aside, I looked harder to see what I could see. My fingers indexed through dresses and long skirts, and a few made me smile, only because of how ridiculous they would be. A crimson formal satin gown wouldn't be very appropriate, nor functional, and a gingham-pattern cotton summer dress in red wasn't going to work, either. Mrs. Claus might be a homebody, but it was going to be cold out!
Switching sides of my closet, and shifting the big sliding doors, I began to look at other clothing, and my brain began to wrack. Then it hit me like a truck. I didn't need to wear anything with fur-trimming! Suddenly, my options opened up, and I found two options. One was a maroon satin halter dress, with the skirt hemmed at my knees. The bared shoulders and back would be a problem, but I would be indoors, and so I could maybe just wear my white sweater. The other was my bright red satin circle skirt, and matching red and white cowgirl blouse. The hem was just above my knees, and the seams were white piping, and I would normally wear it with my white boots, but it was red, it was white, and it would fit! I checked on my black belt, just to be able to finish the ensemble. Relieved, I nodded to myself and closed the closet, the issue settled.
Two days later was Saturday, and time for the event. I awoke and got cleaned up, deciding to put my blonde hair side-swept and over my head, leaving the longest tresses to fall past my shoulders, and making me look about two inches taller than I really was. But at five-foot four inches, I needed the extra height. With the boots, I could manage a passage five-eight, and that helped me deal with some of the troublesome parents I was told to expect. A little blush, and some red lipstick to match my clothing, and I would be ready to get dressed.
Sliding the blouse on was done out of habit, for I'd worn the combination many times. So often, in fact, that I forgot to wear my bra. I usually go bra-less, so I didn't even realize that problem, until I was at the event, and the first cold wind of the day shot through my top like it was see-through. I had the presence of mind to wear red panties, though, red-shiny silk, as those are what my husband likes most. Bikini-cut and high over the hip, they would almost look like I was wearing a thong, if I bent over. With a black patent-leather belt to match my boots, I rather looked like Mrs. Claus, or perhaps even Miss Claus?