House number 2466 is one of the highlights of being switched from first shift to third. The woman complained about you. She went up the chain of command and now they just want you out of sight for a few months. That bitch is also the reason your girlfriend broke up with you. Downside of working at the same big box store. Word gets around.
2466 made things sound much worse than they were. She had been flirting with you for weeks. With the beginning of spring and nicer weather your normally invisible job had become damn near miserable. You had to watch for kids playing outside, drive slow so the flock of moms that socially patrol the street don't think you're going to hit their Sweet Emily or Little Johnny. Even though you always drive the speed limit. And God forbid Neighbor Nancy saw you not smiling as you delivered her third shipment of cat food for the month.
Recently the woman at 2466 had been out tending garden. You liked her from the get go cuz she kept headphones on and also hated socializing. You started paying attention and realized it was just her in that house. So you started engaging her in conversation. It went from a smile and a nod to her taking her headphones off her ears to engage you in a friendly banter. You knew she was looking forward to the release of her favorite authors new book and that she had a subscription of fancy chocolate delivered to her every month.
Last Wednesday was a completely normal day. The same as every Wednesday. Til you go to 2466. She had recently installed a porch swing and you found her there with a book lying on her chest.
"Oh my GAWD! You are a life saver!" She hops up the swing heading towards you.
"What can I live to serve."
And that's where she dropped the bombshell. "My vibrator died on me last night! I'm so glad for next day delivery!"
She grabs the package from you and does a little hip hip hooray motion. You clear your throat, "uh... I am always happy to step in next time..."
It's like the world freezes. Her smile dims. She stares at you. Doesn't blink for the longest time. And then she lets out a choked laugh. "I'll keep that in mind."
It seemed like a pretty successful interaction if anyone would ask you. But nobody does. They take her word as fact. She called the customer service line that night and complained. She called it sexual harassment. His manager called it unprofessional.
So here you are. Day 3 of your new shift. Day 1 and 2 you spent a good amount of time thinking about pay back. Her car is vulnerable overnight. And while she doesn't have any security cameras her neighbors do. Unless you quickly keyed her car and used your truck to block your view you'd be a dead man walking. You figure you could park in front of her driveway and deliver a package to her neighbor. Use that time to scratch something nasty into her car. You just have to wait to get a delivery for her neighbor.
Here we are on day three. Half a block before her house. No nearby deliver due. That's when you see her porch light come on.
What the fuck, you think. How the fuck does she know what you're waiting to do.
But then you see a figure emerge from the house and take off up the street in a slow jog. Practically a trot. Not that you're judging. She's got tight pants and a marshmallow of a coat. From here you can't tell if she's got a hat on or if she's just pull her hair back. Not that it matters.
Guys who have been wronged in the way you have rarely get opportunities like this. A chance to confront the woman who screamed "wolf" and got you stuck on THIS shift. You hate this shift. Maybe if you could talk to her she'd withdraw her complaint and you could just not talk to her ever again.
You skip a few houses and park two streets in front of her. It's a gamble assuming she'll pass by but you hop out of your truck and start "searching" the back for a package to "deliver." You can hear her feet slapping the ground as she approaches. You grab the closest box and turn abruptly.
