Sabrina's dorm room was a pastel cocoon in the heart of a drab Midwestern state university. The walls shimmered with soft pinks, bathed in the glow of full-spectrum LED lights that cast playful shadows over boy band posters --
BTS
and
EXO
pinned up like guardians of her fragile world. Her twin bed sagged under a pile of floral blankets and plush pandas, her desk a mess of glitter pens, empty ramen cups, and a phone that never seemed to stop buzzing or making tones about social media likes and comments and subscriptions. At 18, Sabrina -- a short, shy American-born Chinese freshman with long, messy black hair and a delicate complexion -- was a social media addict, posting every pedestrian and mundane detail of her life. Her followers saw the
boba tea
runs, the late-night study sessions, the forced smiles -- but never the bullying. As the only non-white girl in her dorm, she endured it daily: the sneers, the racist taunts, the isolation. They lived in a state where lots of laws had been passed by men who had puritanical and antagonistic views toward women, and the guys in college seemed to pick up these attitudes pretty quickly. She hid the hurt behind her curated grid. And over time... it festered.
Tonight, she wasn't online. Insomnia had gnawed at her for weeks, her mind a tangle of anxiety and exhaustion, racing thoughts, audio and video clips replaying on loop. Her doctor had prescribed a new sleep aid, a tiny white pill she'd swallowed with a gulp of iced tea which was, admittedly, caffeinated. She rarely drank anything without the precious elixir in it. Sprawled across her bed in a loose tank top and panties, her hair spilling over the pillow, she felt the drug pull her under, warm and heavy, into a tranquil and blank abyss.
Unbeknownst to her, even unbeknownst to her lazy doctor, the medication had a rare side effect:
sexsomnia
