Katherine and I live in a one bedroom unit. The place is big enough for our needs and we're both reasonably neat people so we don't have too many conflicts. The one area where we do have a problem at times is that Katherine sometimes brings a boyfriend home. That means I get to sleep on the couch, which is a pain.
I arrive home one evening after being at a nightclub. The lights were on and the bedroom door was open, with that light on as well. I could hear someone in the bedroom and assumed that it was Katherine. Why wouldn't I? It was her bedroom, too, and the bedroom is where you could expect to find someone in the middle of the night.
With the door to the bedroom being open I just barged on in. We have a rule that if Katherine brings a friend home she closes the door and hangs out a little sign to warn me off. So I wander in, all unsuspecting, and there's a guy standing in the room.
It took me a moment to recognise him, but then I latched on. Linc was his name. Katherine had been chasing him for a while. Now Linc was just standing there, fully dressed, looking down at Katherine, who was lying on the bed in a set of her skimpiest bra and panties, and with Katherine, that's damn skimpy. I guess the reason that Linc was standing there, quietly swearing, instead of stripping off and jumping on Katherine with a lusty cry, was the fact that Katherine was dead to the world. If she was a snorer she'd be giving out world champion snores, she was so fast asleep.
"What the hell is going on?" I asked, and Linc jumped and spun around, plainly startled.
He looked at me, snapping his fingers.
"Laura, Lara, no, Lorna, isn't it. You're a friend of Katherine's."
"Lorna, it is, and yes, I'm a friend of Katherine, and her flat-mate, and you haven't answered my question."
He looked at me and I sighed. Men can be so dense, sometimes.
"I asked what the hell is going on. Why are you in our bedroom, perving on Katherine while she's asleep in her undies?"
He blushed slightly.
"Yeah, I can see how it looks," he said. "I've been at the nightclub with Katherine and brought her home. She invited me in for coffee. Then she told me to take a seat and wait a moment. She'd give me a call. She didn't give me a call and after a few minutes I came in here, just before you walked in. She was like this, sound asleep. I knew she'd had a few drinks but I thought she was still reasonably sober."
"She's like that," I said with a smile. "She drinks a little more than you realise and seems to be holding it well. Then all of a sudden she'll be out like a light."
I looked at Katherine.
"An earthquake won't wake her now. She'll sleep until the morning."
"Well, damn. I have this thing about wanting my partners to be awake and aware of what's happening. Sleeping Beauty has saved her virtue by sleeping."
(What virtue? My room-mate was, to put it mildly, a bit of a tart.)
"Well, you might as well go home. I'll see you out. Next time, don't shout her so many drinks."
Linc gave a small laugh.
"That's for sure. Are you sure she won't wake until morning?"
"No matter what happens. If the place catches fire the firemen will have to carry her out. She's gone for the night."
"Fair enough. Then she won't wake-up when I make love to you."