It's Saturday night, and unsurprisingly, you're alone in your flat. Your roommate has gone out on the pull, and left you with your computer, some cigars and a supply of beer. All is quiet, except for the quiet clicking noises your mouse makes as you browse through a collection of Japanese porn, and the odd heavy breath as you exhale cigar smoke. You don't even hear me open the door.
You do, however, notice when I clamp a cold hand over your mouth, and press a blade to your throat. Your eyes widen and your breathing rate triples, then you realise who it is.
'Miss me? You never came back, I thought I'd pay you a visit instead.'
I look around the place, and note the piles of assorted trash, the tatty armchair and sofa, a mattress shoved into the corner, the same mattress. My mind goes blank as images flash behind my eyes, the back of a van, you, a camera. I let you and the blade go and stride across the tiny room, reaching the bathroom in a couple of steps. And there they are, my face duplicated countless times, my naked body, clothes in tatters. That time, my pain, transformed into wallpaper. I catch sight of my real face in a grimy mirror, and my eyes flash dangerously. Turning on my heel, I notice you standing, almost apologetically, in the doorway. Struggling to keep my voice even, I ask you the question playing on my mind.
'How many times?'
You mumble something and inspect the floor.
'How many times, damnit! How many fucking times have you sat in here and wanked over this, this...atrocity?'
I gesticulate wildly in the direction of the photos. You at least have the grace to look ashamed, but this doesn't placate me. I want a fight, and I'm damn well going to have one.