Repayments

I'm spread-eagled on my couch, picking through a near-empty bag of Doritos, when my buddy Jason walks into my house. I hear him clattering around in the doorway.

"Hey, I'm here," he calls as he walks into the living room. He's tall and lithe, with light brown hair and glittering blue eyes.

"Hey, you made it! Long time no see!"

"Yeah, totally. So what have you been up to?" he asks, shoving me over on the couch so that he can sit down next to me.

"Nothing, man. Seriously, I've been watching

Hell's Kitchen

reruns all afternoon. Pretty sure I could do a killer Gordon Ramsay impression by now," I reply, nudging his ribs with my elbow. He nudges me back so hard it actually hurts.

"Yeah, probably, but I came over here to hang with you, not get bored to a comatose state," Jason says, pushing me further down the couch and flashing his award-winning grin. He's handsome, I have to give him that. We've been friends since grade school, but I haven't seen him since I started testosterone a couple of months ago. The changes aren't too noticeable yet, but since he always used to say I was "one of the guys" anyways, I'm not super worried about coming out to him. I grin and grab a handful of Doritos from the open bag.

"There's something I should probably tell you, man."

"Uh, yeah, sure. What is it, bro?" the concern on his face is genuine. just another reason I love him - he's a sensitive guy.

"Uh, I'm transgender. Like, I'm a dude with a pussy. And since we've been buddies for a while I just thought I should tell you that..." I offer him my best smile, but I know it falls flat.

"Hang on, so what, are you a guy or a girl right now?" he moves down the couch subtly, but I can tell he's trying to get away from me. His eyes are rolling across my body with disgust. My hand freezes on its way back to the chips. "I at least deserve to know that."

"I'm a guy; I'm on testosterone. But I've still got tits and a pussy."

"So what, you felt like a guy so you decided that instead of being a girl you'd change?" Jason basically sums it up to a T, but he's giving me a weird, cautious look.

"Yeah, pretty much," I chirp a little overzealously, tipping the crumbs from the bottom of the chip bag into my mouth.

"Well, that's just fucked, in my opinion," he replies, finding a half of a stale chip between the couch cushions and tossing it leisurely into his mouth. I freeze, startled.

"It's... fucked, Jase, really?"

"Look, I'm being fucking honest, you were hot as a chick and now you've just gone and fucked it."

The sensitivity I love so much about him has given way to an unfamiliar iciness.

"I... I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well, I always have, I always thought you were hot. But now you're changing, you've just gone and fucked everything."

I shut my eyes tight for a moment to prevent the tears from welling. "Maybe you should just go, Jason."

"No, you know what? I'm here, I'm not leaving." He smirks and swings his legs up onto the couch with us. I run a hand through my hair and sigh, confused and frustrated by his behaviour.

"C'mon, Jason. If you feel that way, just get the fuck out of my apartment."

"Well, maybe I need to stay; it's pretty comfortable and it's started to rain. You're gonna have to deal with me until tomorrow." He points to the big living room window, and - damn him - rain's falling in fat, soaking droplets onto the ground. He takes out his phone, effectively ignoring me. I study his relaxed pose on my couch and let a breathy sigh escape me when I realize that I'm going to have to be the one to break the silence.

"I mean... fine. Leave tomorrow. Just... I'm going to go to my room. You can sleep on the couch."

There's something animalistic in the way he grabs my wrist, snarling: "No, you stay with me. For the whole damn time." He jerks me close until I'm flush against him.

"Jase, what-?"

"You heard me. You stay with me. You know - company," he smirks, and his hand morphs into a vice grip on my arm. I try to pull my hand away but his hold only tightens, threatening to snap my wrist. "Don't be a bitch."

I keep pulling at my hand, not deterred by his expression. "Jason, come on, dude. Let go."

He stands, drawing himself to his full height. He's at least a head taller than me. He raises a hand, and I barely have time to flinch before his palm connects against my face with a

slap!

"Listen, bitch, you do as I say now."

Tears well in my eyes, and I reach for my burning cheek with my free hand. "What the fuck?"

"Listen, you've always been a bitch to me and everyone else, and you always rely on others to clean your shit up. Then you change genders to escape it all? Fuck you!" I watch something dangerous glittering in his eyes.

"What are you talking about? Jason, please, don't pull this shit. Let me go!" I put all of my force behind wrenching my arm away, but he only tugs me closer like I'm a ragdoll.

"You know what I mean. Consider this payment for all the IOUs from over the years. From me and others," Jason grips my chin, squishing my cheeks. His other hand finds the small of my back. Tears are coursing down my cheeks as I accept defeat, unable to keep fighting someone so much stronger than me.

"Jason, what are you doing?" I ask weakly, my voice breaking.

"As I said, IOUs," he mumbles. His hand starts to rub my back lightly. He pushes me backwards into the couch until my knees bend. "Do as I say and it'll be fine."

I can feel my entire body trembling and I try to stand up. "Jason, I don't... what are you doing?"

He pushes me down, harder this time. "As I fucking said twice now, I-O-fucking-Us," Jason growls and keeps me pinned. I kick out with my legs, but none of them really land with the gravity I want them to. I push my hands against his lean chest.

"What did I do?" I manage to ask breathlessly.

"Where do we begin?" his hands find my thighs and split them apart, and he wedges himself between my legs before I can shut them again. "How about the 'incident?'"

I keep trying to push him away, keep trying to snap my legs closed. "The 'incident?' What the fuck are you talking about?"

One of his hands, much stronger than the both of mine, gets purchases on my throat. He traps both my wrists above my head with his other hand. "How about I tell you once I'm done getting my repayments?"

Repayments?

I start to push against him again, and I wish no more than ever that I was at all in shape. Everything I do is futile. A bolt of fear darts through my belly when I realize just what he could do to me like this. What I'm hoping with all that I have that he won't do.

"Jason, I don't want this! Get off of me!"

He tightens his grip on my throat. "Stop fucking panicking, just let it happen," he draws a rope out of nowhere and ties my arms above my head,yanking it until my shoulders are screaming in agony and my wrists feel rubbed right to the bone. I let my whimper escape, terror slamming into me like a tidal wave.

"Jason, please, we can talk about this! Please, whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

"No, look, you've fucked over so many people, led on so many people; consider this is the closing point of you being the hot chick who usedd to flirt her way through everything," his eyes glitter and his hands ghost over my shirt, "and your opening point s a disgusting asshole who thinks just because their gender is changed they can forget about all they did to others."

Jason yanks my shirt up to where my wrists are bound and leaves it there. I can barely see him through the tears swimming around in my eyes. My face burns when I feel him looking hungrily over my chubby torso and black binder, taking it all in and picking it apart. I try to hide my face in my shoulder so he doesn't see me crying.

"Please, Jase, please, please, please."

He turns my chin to face him again and roughly wipes y tears away. He swims into focus for a moment, all smirk and swagger, before the tears well back up and blur his face.

"What? You were so into this before, but now that you've decided to change, you no longer like the attention?" I feel him snaking down my waistband, and I start silently praying to a god I don't believe in, but my prayers are obviously unanswered because my pants are being yanked down my legs anyways. "You wanted attention, I'll give you attention."

I jerk my legs and hips to try to keep him out of my pants. "I don't want this, Jason, please!" I beg through a croaking throat.

"Oh, come on, you do," he slaps me hard across the face and leans in to whisper: "Better get used to this, you owe me quite a lot."

He pulls my binder painstakingly over my head where it joins my shirt, sending my tits bouncing free. The shame rears its ugly head. I get another slap when he's finished his looking at my exposed chest, and I breathe in the most pitiful, shuddery noise.

"What did I do?" I ask meekly.

He squeezes my cheeks, smirk twisting to grimace. "Stop fucking asking that; you'll learn that will get you a fucking horrible punishment." He sneers when he eases my boxers down my legs. I kick and try even harder now that I know just how far he wants to take this.

"Please please please stop!" I'm begging pathetically, but I'm hoping that will make him let me go. Instead, he punches me just below my right breast, pushing all the air out of me in a wheeze. For a terrifying moment, I can't draw in a breath.

"Now, you do as I say and you'll be fine. Keep acting up - you'll get more of these."

His hands trap my tits and start groping them painfully. I squirm, my hysteric sobbing almost taking over my ability to talk. "Please, Jason..."

"Fucking listen to what I say, you bitch!" he shouts right in my face, an animal I can't recognize. He slaps me again, shaking my brain around in my skull. I squeeze my eyes shut when I hear his belt buckle dropping onto the floor. My pushing against him gets me nowhere, so I let my limbs go limp. "Good girl," he whispers, and then I feel the warmth of a dick on my stomach, dragging down... down... down... The tip lines up but I'm dry as a desert. I whimper, bracing myself for the breach I know is coming.

"I'm not a girl, Jase. Please don't do this."

"Don't fucking lie to yourself - yes you are. You're just a disgusting little whore who wants to lie to herself."

I feel him pushing further into my dry pussy. I try to shift away, feeling the drag of his unlubed skin against mine.

"Jason, don't do this. Please, Jason, we've been friends forever and I just-!"

He pushes on my throat, not quite choking me, but letting me know he could. "What did I fucking say? Don't speak." He starts to get a rhythm going but it burns my insides, rubs me raw from the friction. I scream and try to twist away. "Learn to shut the fuck up and just take it."

I scream again. "It hurts, Jase!"

The hand tightens again and my throat burns all the way down to my diaphragm.

"I don't give a fuck; be a good little girl and maybe I won't have to hurt you so goddamn much," he snarls, forcing himself deeper. My pussy resists this, the dryness catching his movements, but he picks up his speed despite it all. I can barely cry out in agony.

"Jay...son..." I plead hoarsely.

"Do as I

fucking

say!" he shouts, releasing my throat for a glorious moment to slap me again. I gasp in a breathe before he continues strangling me, his free hand going at my chest while a garbled, keening cry escapes me like air from a tire. The thrusting continues, and he leans into his hand.

"Shut your mouth, because you better get used to this, because it'll be happening a lot."

My windpipe closes entirely and black dots pool in the edges of my vision. My head throbs and I thrash to try and escape this strangehold. He lets go of my throat, mercifully, and I choke in the air that now rushes into my empty lungs. His hand winds into my hair and jerks my head up.

"Listen: I'll let you breathe, but you don'tyell, fight back, or anything, or I swear I won't stop next time," his eye sare cold as he picks up his speed even further, rubbing and rubbing and rubbing against my insides. I just sob and focus on breathing. When I close my eyes, I pretend that this is all just a bad dream, that one of my closest friends isn't ramming his dick into my dry, unwilling cunt. The pretending almost helps.

"See? Now you're getting it," he smirks and rests his hands on my hips, pulling me even closer. His hand rests much more gently in my hair but it is still a long way away from a loving touch. I feel my face still soaked with tears, and start to hum in the back of my throat to drown out the sounds and sensations of all this. He grasps even harder at my chest, and I realize he's starting to slow down his thrusts, angling his cock deeper inside me.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum," he mutters to himself, and that's enough to send me, wide-eyed, as far away from him as I can get.

My voice is raspy from the choking, but I manage to talk. "Not in me... please, Jason, just this one thing..."

"Why? You're not a girl, as you say, so why would you have a problem if I pump you full of cum?" he smiles and caresses my cheeks almost like a parent would a stubborn child. "You'll be fine - just take the load and I'll untie you. Of course, I'll be staying until tomorrow, but hell, maybe I'll stay a little longer."

He smirks to himself and leans down to kiss my cheek. I manage to evade his lips and force down another sob rising up my throat like bile. I clench my hands in fists above my head and start to shake my head back and forth as fast as I can, just nonoNoNONO. His eyes regard me with disgust, and he sighs before suddenly pulling his dick out of me. I have no time to register the emptiness because suddenly he's dragging me to my knees by his fistful of my hair and shoving his dick inside my mouth. I can't do anything in response because he's cumming, filling my mouth until I can't hold it all and it spills from my lips and down my throat.

"Swallow it damn all," Jason says with mock sweetness, swiping a little bit of his dribbling cum from my chin with his finger. It's a lot, what's in my mouth, but I make a show of swallowing as much as I possibly can. When my body just can't take any more, because my stomach is full and feels stretched, I cough a little bit up and sit there, kneeling, trying to remember how to breathe.

"Thank you," I whisper, glad, at least, that he didn't mark my pussy as his.

"Take it as your reward for listening," he kisses my cheek and rubs the other, "hope you liked it, because it will be happening a lot more."

He knows damn well I didn't like it.

Jason unties my arms and brings them back down to my sides. He sits back down next to me, except I'm naked and I can't stop shuddering and he's got his dick sticking out growing limp. He takes my hand tenderly, looking almost sincere again. And then, he tightens his hold and says: "You say this to anyone, I'll make your life more of a living hell."

I manage a nod, I think.

"Do you want anything? Anything to eat or drink?" he asks, in a mock-sweet voice that could almost pass as Jason as I knew him before.

Slowly, very deliberately, I open my mouth to show the leftover white cum that's making my mouth taste foul. "No thanks," I say hollowly, "I've had my fill."

Jason chuckles and kisses me firmly on the lips before pulling away. "I'm sorry for what I did, it's been pent up for ears and I needed to get it out. As I said before, you using me so many times has just worn me out and I just need to get out all these 'repayments,' you could say."

We're sitting on my couch in a sort of eerie resemblance to how we started this whole thing. I reach for the bag of Doritos, and stare into it. I'm looking for something - anything- normal, from before. It's empty.

"Goddamn it," I say hoarsely.

It's empty.