Slowly she started to process what had happened to her and speak to the men around her. Sometimes she even smiled faintly. She liked them. They cared for her. She started to help around the camp but they were soft for her. Sometimes they said 'it's okay, sweetheart', taking over her task, lightly touching her on her back or arm.
Especially the young knight on whose horse she rode and who washed her took special care of her. Riding together after so many days made her feel comfortable with his hands resting with the reins in her lap and his body lodged against hers, and so did he.
One night she they were sitting around the fire nipping their soup when she asked a question she had been wanting to ask. 'How did you find me?' she said. The men went quiet and looked down.
After a moment one of the older men took the word and said slowly, his voice laden with pain, 'we found you lying naked in the straw, the men still closing their breeches.'
She closed her eyes in pain and a silence fell. 'They paid for what they did', he added. She looked at his drawn face, while his voice broke. 'We killed them all'. He stood up and took her hands in his, eyes filled with compassion. 'They will never touch you again, sweetheart'.
She walked away, tears welling up in her eyes. Her attackers were dead. She didn't know if she felt sorrow or release. She hadn't wished them dead. But now they were no more. Nobody who knew exactly what had happened to her there was still alive except her.
She wished the memory would have died with them. But that would stick to her forever. But they couldn't do her further damage. It was past.
She turned around and moved back to the fireplace. The young knight she rode with was standing in the circle, waiting for her worriedly amidst the other men. As she came closer, he took her in his arms by impulse and pulled her to his chest, hand protectively on her hair.
'It is allright now, sweetheart', he said softly in her hair. 'It's over'.
She put his arms around his neck and broke down in sobs. She had no choice to move on in life than to accept what happened to her. And them being dead, did make it easier to accept. But as she fully acknowledged and accepted it for the first time now, she had to mourn. She had to give room to the pain and the feelings she had felt, and they flooded her as a wave.
All the tears and sorrow she had tried to push away in the past days by her attempts to not let what happened to her affect her, came out. She cried for minutes, him just holding her, close to him. After a while she started to become calm again, her breathing becoming steady. Automatically, as if moved by a force from deep within, the young knight touched her face and softly gave her a kiss on her lips. He couldn't help it. It went without saying. He wanted to sooth her, as if it was the most natural thing he had ever done.
'You need to sleep', he said, 'I'll take you to bed'.
He picked her up and took her in his arms. When they arrived at her tent he carried her inside and gently laid her down on her bed. He pulled the covers over her and sat beside her, looking at her concentratedly and stroking her cheek. After a moment he said softly 'Sleep, sweetheart. You have to heal.' and he turned to get out of the tent.
As he turned however, he felt her hand on his arm.
' Stay...', she said softly.
He turned his head to her and looked at her questioningly. She opened the covers and looked back with tearful eyes as she invited him in.
Without saying a word he carefully went to lie next to her and gathered her head on his chest, holding her. She wanted to have someone to share her grief with and to support her in this process, with the warm presence and security of his body, and he understood it. For minutes they just lay there, her breath becoming calm. But they connected more and more.
With tiny movements their faces nudged each other, she smelling his hair, sensing his skin with her lips, feeling his heartbeat, feeling his breath. As if it was a logical sequel they started to kiss, ever so slightly. With slow, round movements the tips of their tongues tasted each other, him coming on to his side and leaning over to kiss her, at her pace, while she lay in his arm.
It was as if the energy between them pulled them together and he was drawn to her like a magnet. Slowly, he started to kiss her neck, she lightly panting as she let the unknown feeling of ecstasy flush through her. Ever so slowly he moved his kisses down, but then he gradually stopped, looking at her intently. Maybe she didn't want this. He wanted to protect her, not hurt her, let alone rape her again.