Apologies for the long delay. I just wanted to say, I looove reading all the comments (especially the all caps *grin*) and the emails.
***
The cacophony from the TV had triggered a headache. Pavit and his friends were lounging around in the living room watching a crass stand-up comedy show that had everyone in splits. Some up-and-coming jackass cracking jokes on why women are so emotional.
I shoveled a cookie into my mouth, chewing industriously. I hadn't had lunch and doubted I would be able to sit through dinner. I fidgeted in my chair. My butt ached. My linen pants had soaked up all the cum. Thankfully, because of the olive khaki color, the stain wasn't that obvious. But the crotch had become stiff and gross. I was dying for a shower. And then maybe a quick nap. Before Jivan got back.
After the tea, he had informed Ma that he needed to drop the bike at his friend's place. It was on the way to Janvi's house, so he had offered to drop her as well. I tried not to think of them together, but my brain, of course, pitched a technicolor carousel of visuals with surround sound of Jivan making out with her. I distracted myself with the racket blaring from the TV but kept picturing the pretty, pixie-like Janvi bouncing enthusiastically on Jivan's cock. He could probably hold her up with just one hand, I thought crossly.
I watched Ma make her fifth trip from the kitchen to the living room, carrying more snacks and chilled buttermilk. With some of Pavit's friends staying over, Ma had been slogging all day to cater to everyone. Dad never helped with these things; he would only come out of his room to entertain and eat. Pavit was his carbon copy. Sighing, I dropped my plan for a shower and nap and headed to the kitchen sink.
"Leave it, dear." Ma tried shooing me after she found me washing the mountain of dishes. "You go rest; you look like you will fall asleep standing up."
"So do you, Ma," I smiled tiredly at her, offering her my cheek as she kissed me on her way to the utility room at the back of the house. She was probably putting in the third load of laundry for the day.
Soaping up the utensils had put me in a calm, dreamlike state. The monotonous activity was a complete contrast to all the muscle-tightening excitement I had been subjected to since Friday night. I couldn't wait to get back to the sanctity of my rented, tiny one-bedroom flat in the city.
Coming home was always stressful for me. I was a disappointment to Dad and an annoyance to Pavit. Ma was the only reason I made the trip. But having your insides repeatedly trounced, physically and emotionally, by one mega-ruffian had stripped me of whatever puny defenses I had bolstered myself with. It wasn't just his raw, brutish lustfulness, which was daunting enough to accommodate, but how he sprinkled it with smidgens of consideration that left me reeling. I had begun to crave the crumbs--his soft kisses, bone-crushing hugs, his stupid nicknames, letting me cry on him... he never pushed me away, always pulled me closer...
After the dishes, I made a trip to the living room to collect everyone's discarded plates and glasses. I heard the front door squeak open, and even before he spoke, I knew Jivan was back.
"Bro, need to talk to you," Jivan called out, tipping his head and jerking his chin towards Pavit. Then turning, he headed to the front lawn. He didn't bother looking at me.
Pavit followed him, grabbing his massive shoulder and thumping it loudly. "Waasssup brooo!" he whooped playfully. Pavit loved Jivan more than any of his other friends, for reasons that would remain a mystery to me.
Taking the used vessels back to the sink, I washed them when I heard the washing machine sing its little tune to announce the end of the cycle. Ma was preparing dinner, so I told her I would get it. Stuffing half of the clean laundry in a basket, I lugged it to the backyard. Crickets abruptly halted their night choir before restarting, louder than before. I hung and clipped the damp clothes on the clothesline, inhaling the clean scent of detergent and fabric softener. Over the din of the insects, I heard Jivan's low-pitched rumble. The backyard connected to the front lawn through a narrow corridor at the side of the house. Curiosity, far stronger than my exhaustion or good sense, had me creeping up the passage and flattening my back against the wall, listening.
"...not done, bro." Jivan was saying.
"I was pissed, man. We are no longer kids, so why the hell do I still have to keep babysitting her?" Pavit replied, irritation plain in his voice.
"Pissed doesn't mean you can trick her like that. And you weren't babysitting her. I brought her on the ride with me. If Janvi hadn't told me about the stupid prank..." Jivan huffed out a breath.
I realized they were talking about me. Half of me wanted to lean in even closer to listen better, and the other half argued it was a bad idea to listen at all.
"Oh man, okay, I'm sorry," Pavit whined, surprising me. Pavit never apologized. "I didn't mean to ruin your playtime with your pussy."
My cheeks flushed hotly, and not just because of Pavit's casual crudeness.
~ Did Pavit know about Jivan and me? He wouldn't talk like that...
"Nah, you didn't." Jivan said.
Pavit hacked out a laugh, "All right! You still fucked her?" I heard a thump and figured it was Pavit smacking Jivan's shoulder again, but with pride. "You are such a boss, bro. I've heard she's a complete maniac in bed."
~ God... there is no way in hell Pavit would say that about me...
"No comment, bro," Jivan said quietly.
"Ha ha, fuck! No comment means you railed that tiny piece of ass till she begged for mercy." Pavit sounded pleased.
~ I'm not a tiny piece of ass... so that can't be me... that means...
"No comment just means that, jackass," Jivan chuckled.
"Balls! She was all over you like a rash," Pavit replied. "I swear, Suhani actually told Janvi to rein her tits in the way she was humping your leg."
I sucked in a small breath. So, it was true. Jivan had been with Janvi. I already figured that out. It shouldn't make a difference. But having it confirmed did something funny to my tummy, hollowing it out like a gaping wound.
"Bro, can you get back to what I was saying?" I could hear the smile in Jivan's voice.
"Arre, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I already said," Pavit griped. "I really did think Subro would get her; he told me he would. It was just a harmless little prank, bro. For forcing you to bring her. How the hell did I know the stupid idiot would run so far back inside the cave?
"I told you she didn't force me," Jivan said a little exasperatedly. "That spineless pussy Subro, he chickened out after two minutes of Rini nagging him. And there was no network in there. It took me a while to find her."
"I'll bet she was hysterical," Pavit laughed, his cackle pricking me like needles. "She's shit scared of Kalabhai, it's hilarious."
"It's not hilarious, bro. Auntie was quite upset when we got back..."
I did not bother listening to the rest of what Jivan had to say. I hadn't realized I was already crying when I got back to the clothesline. I wiped my tears on a damp bedsheet, pressing the cool fabric to my heated cheeks.
~ Serves you right for eavesdropping... you are a stupid idiot... the stupidest, most desperate loser... you should never have gone with him... he pities you... Pavit hates you... they left you there purposefully...
Taking deep, shuddering breaths, I forced myself to calm down. I looked up at the night sky, missing my flat and the safety it offered. My head throbbed viciously. My heart had sunk into the yawning cavity of my tummy. I went back to get the remaining load of laundry, scooping them out of the machine and into the basket.
A pair of arms slipped around my waist, pulling me into a hug warmed by amber and musk. "Shouldn't listen to private conversations, little squirt."
Even though all my past attempts had proven to be futile, I still twisted tiredly, trying to break Jivan's embrace. "Leave me alone..."
"No chance." Jivan turned me around, catching me against his body. He bent his knees, bracketing my legs and bringing his face to my level.
I refused to look at him, pushing him back with my hands on his chest, and slanting a worried eye to the sliding doorway of the utility room. "Let me go... s-someone might come in..."
"I want you crying only after we fuck," Jivan said instead, tilting his head to kiss my cheek.
I hunched my shoulder, sniffling. "I'll c-cry when I want to, and we are not fucking... I'm n-never fucking you... you-you can go... fuck your t-tiny piece of ass Janvi with just one hand I'm sure... you needn't have bothered to-to come get me you should have just l-left me there!"
Jivan eyed me at the end of my tirade, a grin splitting his handsome face. "Fuck Janvi with one hand, what?"
I sucked in a few short breaths, forcing my chin to grow a spine, then clamped my lips shut. My sniffles were threatening to turn into sobs.
"I should have just left you there, huh? Let Kalabhai have his way with you?" Jivan nudged my nose.
I nodded, jerking my head back. I recognized how quickly I was forgetting all the statements of gratitude I had made to myself exiting the cave.
"Wrong, squirt. Only I get to have my way with you." Jivan dipped his head, taking a sharp nip of my nose.
