"Barry, could you please hang the curtains this weekend?"
"Certainly, Sweetheart. I have nothing else planned."
Barry was my nice new husband. Unfortunately he was also a bit of a procrastinator so I would have to keep after him. I reminded him about the curtains Friday night and he said no worries. A gentle hint Saturday morning and he said that afternoon for sure. That afternoon he went missing in action.
"Curtains?" I said when he made a reappearance.
"Sorry, love. I forgot. I'll do them tomorrow."
When Sunday was drawing to a close with no sign of curtains going up I realised that I'd probably have to have him do them at the point of a gun.
"Barry, perhaps we should just get a handyman to hang the curtains for us."
"Pay someone? Are you nuts? Why would I pay for something I can do myself?"
It wasn't a case of can or cannot but will or won't and it seemed to me that Barry was firmly in the won't camp. I'd have to make my own arrangements. I'd hire a handyman and then Barry would have to pay him.
One of our new neighbours put me on to Frank, saying he did good work and his rates were reasonable. I called Frank and he stopped by later that day. I explained I needed my curtains and blinds mounted. He checked that the things I had were suitable, assessed the work, and gave me a quote. Quite a reasonable quote in my opinion, even if Barry wouldn't think so. He should have hung them first time asked. I shouldn't have needed to ask.
I accepted the quote and asked when could he do the work. The coming Thursday, around one.
"I run a cash business," he told me. "I see no reason to bother bureaucrats with unnecessary paperwork. That means I get paid on the day, in cash,so make sure you have it ready."
I nodded and told him it wouldn't be a problem. For me it wouldn't be but he could argue the details with Barry. I'd just smile and look helpless and innocent and say Barry forgot to leave the money and to give me an invoice. I'd make sure Barry paid it right away. (Unless he procrastinated. He did sometimes which is why I pay our bills.)
Just after lunch on Thursday Barry showed up. He got to work and was quick and efficient. An hour later he was finished.
"So what do you think?" he asked.
"Exactly what I wanted," I said happily.
"Happy to be of service" he said. "Here's the invoice."
Here came the sticky part. I fetched my purse.
"Oh dear," I said looking in my purse. "Barry forgot to give me the money. That's really remiss of him. He knew you were coming."
If I'd been asked to describe Frank when he arrived I'd have described a pleasant looking young man in his early twenties, a couple of years older than me. A friendly man, quick with his hands and very efficient. A man who knew what he was doing.
That man was suddenly gone, replaced by a muscular young thug who was glaring at me.
