John sat on the edge of the bed nervously waiting for the buzz from the door downstairs, the buzz would be his new girlfriend coming up to see him. Although they had been dating for several months now, this was the first "stay-in" date. It was Cathy's idea, over the time they had been seeing each other, their physical contact had advanced slowly and she felt that rather than end up in the back seat of a car, or some strange hotel their first complete sexual experience should be where they both could be comfortable.
That was Cathy's idea, not John's. Since his release John had walked a delicate line as he quashed his natural impulses and tried to experience what others called love. His efforts were reinforced by court ordered visits to his parole officer and to his therapist. They had been amazed by his progress and encouraged him in his return to normal life.
John did not share their enthusiasm as he was constantly reminded of what he was. Why just going though some of the old newspapers he came across the headlines and ensuing editorials; "Rapist Freed on Parole." The editorials showed a flash of outrage with phrases like "...once a rapist, always a rapist." The sad thing about it all was, in spite of the wonderful things his parole officer and therapist said about him, he fully agreed with the editorial.
So now after months of suppressing himself, months of laborious self-control he waited for Cathy to come up to his room and make love with him. It seemed like such an odd concept to him, that she would do that with him, not that he would do it to her. They would do it together. John felt a chill begin to run down his back, but that feeling was interrupted with a loud "Buzz."
He hurried to the intercom, pushed the button and said, "Yes?"
"John, it's me, Cathy."
"Yes, yes, come in."
He then moved to his door, holding it open while he waited for her to ride up on the elevator and then walk down the corridor to his room. They kissed briefly at the door and then John stepped back to let Cathy pass, he followed her into the apartment. As they passed the living room, she stepped to one side while John passed her and walked into the bedroom.
Noticing she didn't follow him he turned and walked to the bedroom door where he could see her still standing in the living room. He tilted his head, wondering, when she said, "I thought we could sit a talk for a few minutes before we get started."
"Talk, yes, okay," John said, walking into the living room and sitting down on the edge of the couch.
Cathy then stepped over and sat down beside him. "I'm glad we decided to do it like this, I mean it's not so rushed, or cramped. We can enjoy it more this way."
"Me too," John agreed. The conversation seemed to last forever as he tried to stay focused, talking about Christmas shopping and vacation plans with her. When the conversation finally wound down John remained on the couch as Cathy stood up and walked into his bedroom.
He remained there until she stuck her head out and said, "Are you going to join me."
