When people I talk to think back on their youth, most of them have horror stories of middle school. I myself, I had an extremely rough time fitting in, and like so many others, I was bullied on a regular basis. Name calling, false rumors, and physical aggression were all a part of my daily life, unfortunately, I was always on the receiving end of these things. I look back on middle school as a time I want to forget entirely, but I can still hear the insults playing in my head. The faces of bullies that once tormented and took complete control of my life, still haunt me.
When I got to high school and people started to become more mature, I was able to relax a little. On top of that, I was able to rebuild my self esteem and stop living in fear. As time went on, I grew into an adult, I swore to protect myself against any bully I might encounter. I wasn't going to take any crap from anyone, win or lose. For the most part, I was able to fend for myself, and those who tested me, quickly backed off. Anyone who resorted to name calling, just became laughable to me. No one could get to me no matter how hard they tried. Or so I thought...
There was one particular day that changed my life forever. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Every visual detail, and every word that was spoken. The memory replays in my mind constantly. It was a horrific night and as traumatic as the events were, I am eternally grateful for everything that followed, and wouldn't have it any other way.
It was the evening of December the 5th, 2015. I was 21 at the time. I was working the late shift at a local diner and had just gotten off. I was on my way home, but decided to make a quick stop to pick up some food. When I veered off to my right to take the exit, an aggressive driver cut me off causing me to slam on my brakes. I laid my hand down heavy on the horn in retaliation. The driver immediately stuck their hand out of the window, gave me the finger, and sped off. A mile or so down the road, I caught up with them while they were caught behind another vehicle. I felt the urge to get even, so I cut the car off and slammed my brakes. Naturally, they honked, and this time, I flipped them off. After getting back at them, I got back over into the lane I needed to be in and turned off into the parking lot of the restaurant.
I was still a little heated from the road rage when I parked, so I sat in silence for a minute. I started to freak out a little bit though when I began to see a car's headlights in my rear view mirror, followed by a loud honk. I quickly realized it was the same car. Still enraged, I decided to step out of the car and approach the driver on foot. As I neared the vehicle, a man got out of the driver's seat and started approaching me as well. So I shouted "Are you following me?"
"Ya, I followed you, bitch." He shouted back. "Who the fuck do you think you are brake checking me?"
"You cut me off, asshole," I responded. "Don't be mad if you get put in your place for being a douchebag."
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want, and you better watch your tone talking to me like that little faggot!"
The F word randomly brought back memories of middle school, and it was at that moment I realized I knew him. James Bradley, one of the biggest bullies in the school. He used to push me into lockers and tell everyone I tried to come on to him. Here I was face to face with him again. As much as I wanted to fight him, he was still much bigger than me and I would most definitely lose. It didn't stop me from running my mouth though.
"I remember you," I told him. "You're that jock prick that made up all that shit about me being gay. I see you still haven't grown up."
He laughed then replied, "well look who it is. You got some facial hair now and some hair on your balls so you're thinking you're tough now? You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that. You think that because you're all grown up now and haven't seen me in a few years that you're not my bitch anymore?"
I tried to reply as savvy as possible. "You think I was your bitch because you spread a couple rumors about me? What other pathetic lies did you tell yourself to make you feel better about yourself?"
"Oh I'm lying to myself? Come on, we both know damn well that wasn't a rumor. Deep down you know you're a sissy cock sucking faggot."
As much as I thought I had the situation under control, his name calling got under my skin, and I took things a step too far. "Says the guy that buys a sports car to make them feel better about their dick size. Fuck you and your shitty car," I told him and then walked over and spit on the hood of his car.
He goes quiet and I can tell I just made a grave mistake. I quickly attempted to get back in my car, but he walked right behind me. In one fast move, he grabbed my arms, wrapped them around the back of my head and slammed me face down on the side of my car. "I know your faggot ass did not just spit on my car. I'm gonna have to beat the shit out of you right here in this parking lot."
"Fuck you," I responded, trying to break free.
He slammed me down to the ground with my face to the concrete, "hold still," he shouted while restraining me. Seeing as though he had me pinned down, I had no choice but to listen.
"Let me go," I begged as I slowly gave up and stopped fighting back.
"Shut the fuck up and listen," he said. "You know, you might just be too easy to beat up. I mean, you're clearly a sissy bitch who can't defend themself, so I'm going to give you a chance to apologize and save yourself from the ass whooping of a lifetime."
Frustrated, I gave in. "Fine, I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" He asked.
"I'm sorry for spitting on your car."
"That's a good start, but you've got a lot more to be sorry for than that."
I took a deep breath and in a soft tone, replied, "I'm sorry I honked at you, brake checked you, and cussed at you."
"That's better, now apologize for being a faggot in denial."
Annoyed, I replied "I'm not gay, James..."
"Oh I'm sure you believe that you're a normal heterosexual man that is attracted to women, but you're a beta bitch," he said. "If you were a real man you would've fought back even if you knew you'd get your ass beat. You didn't though, which makes you a pussy beta bitch. So know this pussy; when you're in the presence of an alpha male like myself, you're whatever I say you are. Now, last chance to apologize or I'm gonna fuck you up."
"Okay okay," I reluctantly replied. "I'm sorry I've been in denial about being gay."
"Who said anything about gay?" He replied. "If someone's gay, that doesn't mean they're a beta bitch like yourself. Shit, there are plenty of gay men out there who would stand their ground instead of pleading for mercy like a bitch. I want you to admit that you are a sissy faggot."
"Sorry, fine... I'm a sissy faggot."
He laughed again, "you are so weak, that's why you've always been my bitch."
"Please, just leave me alone," I replied.
"Hmmm... I might let you go, but first you gotta do something. Tell me you're my bitch."
I told him what he wanted to hear. "I'm your bitch, okay."