Early one morning a knock sounded at my door. It was loud and insistent and despite my state of under-dress I went to check the window. Outside, in my driveway, was a local black-and-white, so I quickly opened the door and asked the officer inside. His eyebrows rose when he saw what I was wearing, just a longish white t-shirt over my panties. "Sorry officer, I just woke up," I said, "I didn't expect a visitor so early. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"
"Well, Ma'am, this is more of a business call," he said. "There was a report of a prowler in the neighborhood and we're checking residences for any sign of him."
"I didn't hear anything last night, Sir."
"One of the window screens appeared to be missing," he said. "Do you mind if I check."
"Of course not, Sir."
He walked around downstairs and into my bedroom and looked around. Great, I had forgotten to tidy up and my vibrator was front and center on nightstand, right next to the cover of my new bondage DVD. Now what was he going to think?
I tried to slide in front of the nightstand, but I knew he'd seen. He walked over and picked up the DVD cover.
"Uh, Officer," I stammered. "The windows, um , they are right over here, Sir."
"I'm rather surprised to find this here," he said.
"That is not exactly what it looks like, Sir. I've, um, been doing research into psychology andβ¦"
He lifted the vibrator. "Psychology with a vibrator?" He said, blue eyes amused, "I think you're full of shit. Do you watch a lot of this stuff?" He walked over to my movie shelf and started reading the titles. I have a well rounded collection. "You are quite the little porno queen aren't you."
I thought about apologizing, or explaining, or something. But what was I going to say?
"You know, pornography and drugs often go together," he said. "I think I am going to take another look around." He began to dig through my nightstand. He pulled out some magazines, a dildo, a dusty old journal and suddenly a small baggie. "What's this?"
"I don't know, Officerβ¦"I started to say.
"Heroin or cocaine," he said. "You are in a bit of trouble."
"That isn't mine!" As I said it I knew, he'd heard it a thousand times. But it was true! I didn't do drugs.
He grinned and said, "Put your hands behind your head."