I'm a well behaved young woman. Honest I am. I don't do drugs or go to wild parties. I'm so normal and well behaved that at times I probably seem boring. I mean, I just don't get into silly situations.
So that's why I'm finding it rather hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm standing on a deserted beach with no clothes on. No clothes, no bathers, not even a towel to wrap around myself. Oh, yes. Also add in no purse, no phone, no handbag, no shoes, no car keys and, for all I know, no blasted car.
It all started innocently enough. I had a day off work and it was shaping up to be a beautiful sunny day, so I went to the beach. Now there are plenty of beaches in close reach, but they're always fairly busy, so I went further afield to find a relatively deserted beach. I wanted to work on my suntan and I was going for minimal tan lines, but you can't really loosen your top on a busy beach. The beach bums gather like sand fleas.
I cruised down the coast a little. I knew of several beaches that were generally unused as there were no shops or other conveniences close at hand. That's the sort of place I wanted.
The beach I eventually chose was quite deserted. There was me and the seagulls and that was it. There was a nice stretch of flat sand along the front of the water, but I'd been caught out before, setting up shop on that nice flat sand. You turn your head for two minutes and the tide comes racing in and floods all your stuff.
Keeping that in mind, I set my stuff up where little hills of sands started. I picked one little hill that had a real nice slope, spread my towel on it and settled down to tan. Topless. Daring for me, but there wasn't anyone around.
Now the day was hot and so was I, and the water looked lovely and cool. I decided to take a dip but as I was getting up a little voice whispered to me.
"You've always wanted to go skinny-dipping. Now's your chance. You're all alone here. Go for it."
It's true. I've heard of other girls boasting about going skinny-dipping and I'd always wondered what it would be like. I'd just never been game to go while there's been other people around. But there weren't any now, and it was really a nice day. Now or never, I thought, dropped my bikini bottom and bolted into the water.
Geez, I must have looked funny. Even though there was no-one around I was running for the water as though being chased, and I had my hands in front of me, trying to cover myself. Anyone with a camera would have had a YouTube sensation.
Once I was in the water I relaxed. The water felt marvellous and I felt greatly daring. I swam and floated and swam some more, enjoying the cool water and the heat of the sun.
Eventually, I headed back to shore, keeping an eye out for anyone but the beach still appeared to be deserted. Once out of the water I raced to where I left my clothes and there was nothing there.
Nothing, zip, nada. Not a sign to show that I'd even been there. I panicked for a moment, but then caught hold of myself. All I had to do was think it through.
The big clue, of course, was the fact that there was no sign that I'd even been there. Obviously, I hadn't. I'd mismarked the area where I thought I'd set up. All I had to do was walk along the beach a little and I was going to find my stuff. Easy.
Dead easy, until I had to decide which way to walk. Whichever way I went there was a fifty/fifty chance that I was walking away from my clothes. I bit my lip, tossed a mental coin and chose a direction.
A couple of hundred steps later I stopped, backtracked to my starting point, and walked a couple of hundred steps in the other direction. I was now really starting to panic.
My situation was not improved when I spotted this guy walking towards me. He was big and tanned and appeared to be just wearing shorts. Deciding discretion was called for I nipped behind the nearest dune and waited for him to go past.
He didn't go past. He must have seen me duck behind the dune because when he reached it he just strolled around behind it and looked at me. So here I am, naked, crouched down behind the dune, while this arrogant swine looks down at me with a smirk.
"Do you have a problem, kid?" he asked.
"I'm not a kid and what makes you think I have a problem," I practically spat at him.
"You look like a kid all curled up like that," he said, rather rudely, in my opinion. "The fact that you're curled up in a ball, naked, and hiding behind a sand dune does tend to suggest that you have a problem of some sort."
Then he pointed down at me and added, "Did you know your foot has slipped? You're not actually hiding what you think you're hiding."
With that he reached down, grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. With him holding my arm there was no way I could cover myself properly, and he got a good eyeful.
Before I could yell at him he started yacking again, and I could just tell he was laughing at me.
"My, my. With a figure like that you're certainly no kid, I'll grant you that. A very fine pair of breasts."
Was I supposed to be flattered that he liked my breasts? I suppose I was, in a way, but what I really wanted to do was slap him.
"I'll be fine," I told him. "Will you please just go away?"
"All in good time," he said. "There's a couple of things I know that you might like to know as well. For a start, did you know that there's a strong cross current in the water here. It could drag you quite a bit further than you expect."
"I'd already worked that out," I said coldly. I hadn't, but it explained why I couldn't find my clothes. I hadn't gone far enough.
"Yes, well the second thing that you might like to know is that there's a yellow and blue beach towel and some clothing back that-away," he said jerking his thumb behind him. "I assume that they're yours. Come along and I'll show you where they are."
He turned and set off in the direction he'd come from. After a couple of steps he turned to see if I was following. I wasn't. I was still just standing there, wondering what to do. The son-of-a-bitch patted his leg and said, "Come on. There's a good girl," and stood there waiting for me to move. Did he think I was a dog or something? Fuming I fell in behind him.
I very quickly decided that walking behind him was no good. He kept turning around and looking me over, and I couldn't really walk along hunched up and trying to cover myself. I got a move on and passed him. I probably would have felt a lot better about that if I hadn't heard him say "nice tush," very quietly. I'll swear he deliberately said it just loud enough for me to hear.
We strolled down the beach, me acutely aware that he was behind me and checking out my behind as we walked. I couldn't help it. My bottom was giving this sexy little twitch from side to side as we went. I could feel it bouncing back and forth. It was because of the way the sand dragged at my feet. It wasn't deliberate.
We seemed to walk for hundreds of yards and I was starting to get worried. What if he was leading me somewhere? Before I could really get worked up I hear him calling to me. I turned and he'd stopped about fifty paces back.
"Aren't these what you're looking for?" he asked, indicting a space between the dunes.
I doubled back and there was my stuff. I'd been fulminating at him so much I'd walked straight past them. You can imagine my relief when I saw my clothes. No more nakedness. No more having that man looking me over and making me feel all squirmy inside. Clothes, here I come.
I didn't forget my manners.
"Thank you," I said turning to speak to him one last time. "I might have been searching all afternoon if you hadn't helped me. I had no idea that I'd drifted so far away."
