Now it is too late... I'm hers forever...
...and I love not having a say in it.
I meet her on a sissy site. I had been, for over a decade, going deeper every day into the sissy rabbit hole, eager to find the one who would break me--and it finally happened. She discovered my weakness soon. I'm addicted to getting high and becoming so mindless that I ignore the consequences, seeking people to abuse me online. When high, I not only consent but cooperate with anyone willing to make me their sissy sex slave by force. Yes, I need a strong person to take control away from me and force me, against my will, to be whatever she wants me to be without considering my opinion. I have such a desire to lose control because after so many years of brainwashing myself with the worst sissy hypnosis, I do not merely desire but need to be totally dehumanized and become the most extreme sissy fucktoy and public cumdump. And when sober, common sense makes me want to run from my fate. But when high and so horny, I don't even consider the consequences.
She didn't ask for permission.
She didn't ask for consent.
She didn't care about my opinion.
She didn't care for my human rights.
But she cared about my feelings and wanted me to enjoy my destruction as both human and a molding, extreme sissy fucktoy slave. And I could not be more grateful to her.
She knew my secret, and even before I knew it, she realized that if I were high enough, my fantasy of being raped and forced into a life of sexual slavery against my will was not merely a fantasy--it was a craving so strong that I could not help myself when high enough. So she took advantage of me being high the day after we met. While in that state, she acquired blackmail power and totally took control of me. She knew I would consent and cooperate to anything as extreme and abusive as possible while high. She made me consent to an almost infinite list of abusive techniques that I signed without reading, and to be totally stripped of free will and rights--forced, broken, and turned into a sex slave. She obtained my GPS location, address book, and all the degrading and humiliating pictures and videos I willingly sent her.
The first thing she did was send a transgender sex worker to physically dominate, demean, and doll me up. She told me that she was going to dress me and roughly fuck me; she lied, and I couldn't be more grateful to her. She paid the transgender sex worker to shave me, dress me as a total hook/tripper in the sexiest, most degrading clothes, apply my makeup, and tie me down in BDSM furniture, saying she was going to fuck me senselessly. I was high as fuck, so I didn't even think about it. I had an extreme desire to be raped by a transgender woman--with no safeword, no consent, and no regard for my humanity. And she did. I won't lie: I enjoyed every second of it. I also enjoyed that my mistress was watching it live through a webcam and recording it--something I wasn't ready for. But what happened next was even more intense: after the sex worker came and cumed on my ass, while his cum was still dripping and I was sobering up and regaining my common sense, a black naked male entered the room. I panicked and started to scream for help. But it was no use--I didn't realize it at the time because I was so high, but I was taken to an insulated basement... no one would hear me. Without a second or even looking at me, he tied me to the furniture and, unable to move, began ramming his monstrous BBC into my ass. The extreme pain made me stop screaming; I was left speechless, broken for her. I was crying but not trying to call for help--I realized I had no choice. Choice was an illusion; my path had been chosen long ago, and only now was I beginning to understand it. I felt used, abused, and disgusted, and I wanted to die... but at the same time, I was so horny and felt such fulfillment in being used like that.
"Only when you let go of any hope can you find salvation."
