After the attack in the park, I make my way home, incoherently stumbling inside the house where I live with my mom, Elise. My dad was killed in a terrible car accident last year putting my mom and me through the hardest thing we have ever had to face. Right around the same time, my mom quit her very lucrative job at a big law firm to work at the county Prosecutor's office. She said she was tired of working for the "bad guys". Things were tough but we were managing.
I sneak through the back door and head straight for the bathroom while my mom sits in the living room drinking coffee and watching a TV news show. I step in the shower, sobbing as I look down at my bruised and bloodied body. The water from the shower stings the gash on my leg and the scrapes and scratches all over my body. My inner thighs are black and blue from the pounding I had just received. I slide down the shower wall wishing the water could somehow wash away the guilt and shame that consumes me.
Why didn't I listen to my mom? How could I be so stupid to run in the park alone? Did I invite this on myself? Did I ask for it? No! I didn't ask for this...I didn't want this...this is not my fault! I will not let him take anything else from me!
"Ava, honey? Are you okay?" My mother says, knocking on the bathroom door.
"Yeah, Mom, I...I'm fine." I say, trying my best to compose myself.
"What happened? Why were you so late getting back?" She says, in her normal concerned tone. "Don't you have to go to work?"
Shit! I forgot about work! I've never missed a day or been late before but I know I'm not in any shape to be able to do my job today.
"I'm not feeling very good, Mom. I think I pushed myself too hard out there. Do you think you could call into work for me and let them know I can't come in today?"
"Sure, honey. Should I call the doctor?"
"No, I'll be fine. I just need to rest."
When I've finally scrubbed hard enough to get the sickening feeling of my attacker's filth off of me I step out of the shower and look at myself in the mirror. My dark green eyes are bloodshot and puffy from all of the crying and my cheek has a slight hint of a bruise from where the guy hit me. Using make up, I try my best to hide the bruise on my face so that my mom won't ask a bazillion questions if she sees it. I dry myself off avoiding the most painful areas and wrap up in a fluffy white bathrobe.
I slowly walk to my bedroom as the home phone rings. My mom answers it and starts talking in a heated tone, almost as if she's arguing. Too emotionally and physically drained to concern myself with my mom's problems I climb into my bed and pull the covers up to my chin. A shudder surges through my body as I remember the way the man's hands groped and defiled me.
"Can I come in?" She says, knocking on the door as she's opening it.
"Sure." I say, though she doesn't me a chance to actually answer before she walks in.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She says, sitting on the bed next to me, somewhat distracted.
"Yeah." I say, turning to the side so she won't see the bruise.
"That's good."
"Are you okay, Mom? You seem...worried."
"Me...sure, everything's fine." She says, clearly not telling me the whole truth. "Hey listen, I need to go out for a little bit, you'll be okay, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay." I say, in the most confident tone I can muster. I really didn't want her to leave....my nerves are shot.
"Okay. I shouldn't be long." She says, pushing a strand of hair back behind my ears. Her touch sends shivers down my spine.
Just minutes after I hear the garage door close, my cell phone begins ringing. I pick it up thinking she forgot to tell me something before she left but I don't recognize the number.
"Hello?" I say.
"Hello, Sweetheart. How are you feeling?" The sound of his voice brings a wretch in my stomach.