The night was finally cool. Thankful for the breeze, I tied my shoes up and stretched on my driveway, preparing for my evening run. I'd been using the treadmill in the air conditioning of my home for days because of the excruciating heat. Running outside is always much more pleasurable for me, especially cross-country. I jogged slowly up the avenue and entered the park. There were few people in the park as it was nearing dusk. I noticed a woman with two children heading back to her car, and an elderly gentleman with a small dog. I quickened my pace a notch and focused on the trail ahead of me. The paths through the wooded section of the park offered a challenge as I would break into a full force run and have to avoid the obstacles, as well as climbing hills and steep declines in the terrain. There are few things more exhilarating to me than pushing myself to my limit in the forest. It's not only trying, but a little bit dangerous, and I truly enjoy the thrill. Running late in the evening ensured that there were no children on bicycles or people with dogs to get in my way, and I loved being alone in the wood.
Running has always provided euphoria for me. With endorphins flowing and the breeze through my hair, I feel my best; lost in the beat of my sprint going faster and faster until there is nothing left in the world except my body and the trees as they blur in my vision. I neared a steep hill that sharply inclined and turned; it had always been my favourite part of the path. I could push hardest here, and I knew every step of it. I broke into a hard sprint, pushing and pushing until I was oblivious even to the sound of my own breath, as I reached the top I drove harder into the corner, and I went down hard.
With my chest heaving, I just lied there for the moment. I thought I'd tripped on a rock or stick that some careless child had left in the middle of the path that I knew so well. It was near enough to sundown that there was little light left in this part of the park where the trees obscured the streetlights. As I caught my breath, I realized that it wasn't a stone or a stick that had brought me down, it was a person.
Friends and family had warned me about running in the park alone at night. Wrinkling my brow, I had always explained to them that I was a big girl and I could take care of myself. For the first time, I wasn't too sure about that. He said nothing, this stranger that had tripped me. Screaming was the only thing I could think to do, but I still hadn't caught my breath entirely and my chest hurt from pushing myself, and from falling hard to the coarse ground. Although I tried to shout, all that escaped me was a soft cry.
Roughly, the man grabbed the back of my jogging suit and pulled me to my feet. He looked at me. Fear gripped me and I froze, standing there, locked in his gaze. The darkness cast too much of a shadow for me to make out his features well. The only thing I could think of was to run, and I can do that skillfully. If I were able get free, I know he wouldn't have been able to catch me. Turning, I tried to dash, but the stranger caught me again and threw me up against a huge oak. Panic gripped me as I tried to struggle. I raised my fist and struck at him, but he grabbed me by the wrist, my knee instinctively came up, but it connected with nothing. With my free hand, I attempted to hammer fist him in the side of the head, but he blocked. I screamed in frustration, he only smiled back at me. I swung my fist at him again while trying to pull my weight to free myself, but that time he caught my hand. The more I fought to be free, the more my back rubbed against the rough bark of the tree, and the tighter the man gripped my wrists. He took both my wrists and pulled my arms straight out to the sides and forced his body up against mine. Drained from my run and from trying to fight, I could do little as this man held me tight against the tree with his body. He let go of my left wrist, but I couldn't move. Reaching behind himself, he pulled a rope from his pocket, or perhaps tucked in the waist of his jeans. He tied my wrists together deftly.
"Don't hurt me!" I pleaded. He only sighed.
Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I wanted to go home. I wanted nothing more right that second than to be jogging back up my driveway safe and sound. I asked myself repeatedly why I didn't listen to the warnings about running alone in the park at night.
"I just want to go home," I begged softly "please let me go." The stranger said nothing.
Finally, from deep within I found the power to scream out piercingly. Finally, the stranger spoke to me.
"I don't want to gag you, don't make me. I can make you scream better than that."
"What are you going to do to me?" I demanded. His reply, once again, was silence. He seemed to be securing the ropes around my wrists behind the tree.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME YOU BASTARD?" I shouted as I tried to pull my arms free of him.
For a moment, I couldn't feel his hands on me, and I began to struggle even more. My hands were immobile, and though I kicked, it did no good. A sense of dread came over me, and I sobbed, like a baby. I wondered if I was going to die tonight.
I felt the razor sharp edge of a knife against my throat as I the attacker came back into my field of vision. My eyes grew wide and for the first time since I was a child, I prayed. Every single nerve ending in my body was active and acutely aware. I could feel the bark against my back, and the soft breeze that blew against my skin, it was like I could feel every single molecule on the edge of the blade that threatened to cut into the soft flesh of my neck. The warmth of his breath pressed against my cheek like the oppressing heat of summer and the quiver in his hand felt like an earthquake inside my heart. My fear took me beyond words, there was nothing left to say.
He moved the blade down to the neckline of my t-shirt beneath my jacket. I felt the tear of the fabric as if it were my own skin and a silent scream inside my brain deafened only me. I welcomed the silence now, and prepared myself for my own death. Suddenly, I was back in times when there were no cares, responsibilities, work, or anything but playing happily on a spring day. I remember smiling. Was this what was meant to have my life flash before my eyes?
Reality snapped in again when the knife ripped its way through the sleeves of my jacket and he peeled the upper portion of my clothing from my body. I gasped. He stared at me intensely. There wasn't murderous rage in the face that stared me down, only an expression I'd seen few times in my life; it was lust. I felt the knife again at my navel; he trailed it softly to the waistband of my jogging pants then pulled hard – tearing the cloth straight down my left leg. Down on his knees, he tore the right leg of my jogging pants the same way, tugging hard on the bottom; I stood there naked before him. My muscular runner's body was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and it was shaking.
Walking tight up to me, he placed his hard body against me and kicked my left foot to the side, spreading my legs before him. His face was inches away from mine. I screwed my eyes shut and drew in my breath. Although I expected him to strike me, he did not; he just stood there for what felt like an eternity, pressed up against me with his foot tight up against mine so I couldn't move my legs together.
"Stay." he said with an edge to his voice as sharp as the knife that he still held in his right hand.
I remained there, not breathing, eyes shut, terrified.
"I said STAY!" he repeated.
"I didn't move," I whimpered, then burst into tears again.
His eyes narrowed, I felt it more than saw it, and then he moved away from me. Around the back of the tree he went, and I turned my head, my eyes followed him.
"I told you to STAY." He said sharply.