Wednesday. Lunch.
"Dude."
I don't look up from my book. "What, Andy?"
"Dude, I gotta talk to you." Andy is nervous, glancing side to side, apparently not eager to be overheard. "It's important."
"More important than Proust?" I wave my copy of "The Prisoner" at him. "More important than being well-read? More important than walking into AP Lit on Monday and grinding everyone else into the dirt?"
Andy stares at me. His eyes - nice eyes, I notice every time I look at him, despite their mundane brownish hue - are plaintive. I sigh, close the book, and push myself to my feet. "Lead the way."
He walks off through the halls towards the music wing and ducks into the instrument closet. I follow, treading carefully around the cases and stands that litter the floor, and close the door behind me.
"Okay," he says, pacing back and forth. "Okay. There's this girl."
"There's always 'this girl'," I murmur, rolling my eyes. "Come on, man. It's a crush. There are plenty of-"
He spins to face me, a furious expression on his face. "It's not a crush. It's more than that. It's... it's... I can't stop thinking about her. I can't. I fantasize all the time, no matter what I'm doing. Even when I'm with Julie."
I think for a moment. "An obsession, then. Okay. There are a couple ways to solve this, but... what did you want from me?"
"You know how to handle these things better than I do! You got me with Julie in the first place! You... I want... I want to..."
"Spit it out, Andy. What do you want?"
He closes his eyes and looks ashamed. "I want to fuck her. That's all. I look at her, and I just want to be inside her and taste her sweat and hear her moan-"
"Fine, fine, I get the picture." An interesting situation. He must have given this a lot of thought before coming to me. "What about Julie?"
"She doesn't have to know. I care about her a lot, and I don't want to hurt her. It's just this once." Andy looks at me imploringly. "I just need you to set us up. Just once. And convince her not to talk about it. Please."
"All well and good, Andy, but two questions. First: what do I get out of it?"
He shakes his head. "Anything. I'd do anything. I can't sleep. I can't focus on anything else. If you can do this for me... anything."
"Anything." Andy, my friend, you will regret saying that before the week is out. You know my tastes, and I've had my eye on your ass ever since we met. "Okay. That works. And the other question: who is she? I know a lot of guys have had their dicks in hand for that new girl, Fiona, and then there's Bree, but you'd hardly need my help for that one..."
"No, man. That's the other thing." He takes a deep breath and lets it out again. "It's... Promise you won't flip out and try to kill me or something?"
"Andy, at the moment I'm expecting you to say you want to bang my mom. I promise not to flip out." He seems taken aback by my words. Interesting. "...is it my mom? Is she the one-"
"No. No, dude, it's not your mom. It's... it's your sister."
"Hmm." I think about my sister for a moment. Bratty, when she wants to annoy me, which is always. Medium-height, medium-build, medium looks... the epitome of medium. Average. No tits to speak of, no ass, nothing remarkable. Not that I'm really the one to judge - I'm not as big on the female side of things. I'll dally, now and then, but... well. I love the cock, and that's all there is to say about it. Not quite fully gay, but I certainly prefer men. "What do you see in her?"
"That's just it! I don't know! She's just... normal. She doesn't try to look like a slut, and pretty much every other girl here does. She doesn't care much about anything. I just... I don't know. She seems... pure."
Pure. Hah. And who would have thought that normalcy could be so hot to some people. "Slight problem, Andy. Lin hates you. She's hated you ever since she met you."
"I know." He hangs his head in dejection. "I know. I was an ass."
"You're still an ass."
"Yeah, but now I'm a sympathetic ass. And I know there's no chance of me ever getting her. I just thought maybe you'd think of something, but I guess..."
"Hold your horses. I said it was a slight problem, not a game-breaker." My brain leaps in several different directions before coming back together. "You want to screw her, right? That's it? No emotional attachment, no nothing?"
"Yeah," Andy says, a bit of cautious optimism coming back to his face. "I love Julie. I really do. I just want Lin's body, that's all."
"Oh, well, that's not a problem at all." I grin broadly. "Give me a couple of days to work it all out, and I'll let you know, yeah?"
The look of confusion on his face is beautiful. I have to fight to keep my smile from turning predatory. "How? You're not going to, like, get her drunk or something, are you?"
"That would be telling. I'll let you know when things are ready." I make a shooing motion with my hands. "Get going."
***
Thursday. Early morning.
Let me describe my house.
The front door opens up into a small room with a few stairs leading forward and full flights leading up and down. Take the stairs forward and you're in the living room, with the kitchen to the left and - down another hallway - the parents' rooms to the right.