Night Moves

While Sarah sleeps away the pain and longing, let's fly back and see how Silas is doing. We soar from our place on Sarah's shoulder. Fly across the distance. She fled back through the ripped-off door and alighted next to Silas. We will watch him while Sarah sleeps.

I laid on my back the stinging throb of the four deep gouges in my chest made it hard to think. Fear paralyzed me. I had just witnessed Sarah become a creature. a creature that had cats eyes. sharks teeth long bat like ears and wings with lizard like claws and tail. A wolf like snout and tiger-like reptilian paws and a forked tongue.

It was like an amalgamation of different animals stuck together a truly terrifying sight to behold. The incessant ringing in my ears from her roar was giving me a headache. What was she? Was she even human? Was she some kind of escaped science experiment? I shook my head, trying to clear it, and took deep breaths to slow my pounding heartbeat. Snow was flittering into the main hall as the door had been ripped off its hinges.

wind was whistling through it. Her words, "I can rip down this door" which I attributed to her being delusional, rang true. As I sat up, slowly wincing from the pain, I noticed blood was soaking the front of my shirt and knew I needed to attend to it as fast as possible. I stumbled into the bathroom, taking off my shirt tossing it aside. I used a soft washcloth to wash away the blood, and I applied antiseptic to my wounds, wincing at it's stinging pain.

I then applied badges to the gauges. I checked my phone, hoping to get a signal from the GPS on her collar. It led me back to the main hall, where the shreds of leather lay. My heart was heavy, and anxiety coursed through me. She's gone. I have no way of finding her, pain was surrounding me. I can't lose her, not like Jen. Tears started to fall as I knelt down, picking up the shreds of leather fingered it.

I shivered from the cold, finally noticing it fully. A fine layer of snow had settled into the entryway. I picked up the door. doing my best to reafix it to its frame and trudged up the stairs to my office. where I slouched heavily in my chair, I picked up the picture frame of my dear Jenny. how I had missed the signs I could of saved her. Instead, I was too wrapped up in my own world.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying hard to breathe through the suffocating pain. I had all but given up on finding someone, which made me feel the way Jen had. When I had met my little ouroboros online, I had to take a step back. I was struggling for sanity from our interaction after a long lost hope was rekindled. Her kindness in our interactions and her silly nature was endearing.

Through our late-night conversations, I learned about her hobbies, her hopes, and dreams. I knew early on how special she was. Her eagerness to learn and her willingness to admit when she didn't know or understand something were captivating in ways I didn't know was possible. She was ridiculously hard on herself, which made my heart ache, and when I had finally convinced her to talk to me in voice chat, her nervous, inappropriate laughter sent a smile to my face.

I tried to reassure her that everything was okay. Her voice was soft and gentle; the uptick of her voice as she talked about things she was passionate about and her giggly nature was infectious. as she playfully teased me about my proclivities but never made me feel bad about them. She accepted them as a part of who I was. The sarcastic tone of her saying "down to the fiery pits with you" she giggled. "I can't even believe you friendship with you is over. I'm friends with someone else now"

She couldn't contain her laughter and burst into hysterics. "I can't believe you like such things as fucking someone's ass with large objects. or spanking them or edge your submissive till they lose their mind, I can't even" she jokingly huffed.

I chuckled and shot back, "and what of you, Ouroboros? What is it that you like? What is the dark that your afraid of?" The mood shifted gone was the bubbliness she was just conducting herself with.

her tone soft. "I don't want to share"

I prodded her gently. "It's okay, you can tell me"

There was a long pause. "Well, I already told you I fantasized about being submissive, but I also" she choked for a moment, then finally tumbled out. "but I also would like to try long insertions. I've wanted to try them for a long time"

"Is there any more?" I coaxed "I don't think of you any less of you"

I heard her sigh in relief. "Well, I like the idea of being bound and completely helpless being forced to feel the pleasure I denied myself"

I was puzzled. "Why do you deny yourself of such things?" I asked. another long pause,

then she spoke so softly that I could barely hear her. "It's not okay to want sex it's not okay to want to be sexual" she horsily whispered.

"why?" I coaxed, but she stopped speaking, and for all my gentle prodding, she wouldn't say anything further on the matter. We sat in awkward silence. "It's okay to want such things, ouroboros" I gently said. Just a sound of pain was all the answer I got back. I return to the present from my thoughts, holding the picture of Jen, my first love.

If I wasn't so busy with work, if I paid more attention and spent more time with her, maybe she would still be here. I missed the signs of her struggling to get out of bed, her losing her appetite, her not wanting to go out and see friends anymore. I came home after a long meeting with investors; they had just approved and given me venture capital.

I finally had enough to start my business I was elated to tell Jen that. I walked into the bedroom, assuming she was asleep. She was on her back, her eyes closed, her lips blue skin pale not a whisper of movement in her chest. An empty bottle of sleeping medication lay on her nightstand, and a note grasped in her hand.

I gently shook her, dreading what I saw denying the reality of it. She didn't react; she felt cold and lifeless. I shook her with more vigour, yelling her name, but she still didn't respond. Dead silence met my ears I stumbled back, pressing my back against the wall. Tears fell. I took the note from her hand, the fingers stiff tearing the edge of it.

It read, "my dear Silas. I hope your meeting went well. If you are reading this, it means I have decided I could no longer take the weight of the world. I am sorry I couldn't be stronger for you. I felt each time I tried to move forward, I was dragged backwards. No matter how hard I tried, I felt inadequate and sad, like I would never be good enough and that people around me hated me. didn't care about me. I know you care, Silas. That is why I say I am sorry, specifically to you. for not being strong enough for you for not being good enough. I couldn't take the pain any longer l" Tears smudged the ink on the paper; I couldn't read anymore of it.

I pulled out my phone, frantically calling for help. desperately hopeful for any sliver of a chance that I could save her, but it was for naught. The paramedics pronounced her dead at the scene from over does. I sat alone in my empty miserable home feeling regret, hate, and self-loathing. hate, I wasn't a good partner, regret, I didn't see the signs self loathing I wasn't there for her. I promised myself I would never let someone I care about feel like that. I will make sure they felt loved.

It's been 5 years since my dear Jen passed, and I still hadn't felt that spark that want my parents fretted about me never settling down. My mother would say "your 27 now. When are you going to settle down with someone?" I knew my mother didn't mean anything by it. after all 5 years, and I should have moved on from it.

But the guilt weighed heavy on me; if only I was better, I could have saved her. I had dated many women, some society women attracted to my successful entrepreneur status. Some in the BDSM scene attracted to my arresting visage. some ordinary girls which liked my cool, charming nature that I had met at parties. but none of them elicited the same level of love exhilaration and need with in me that Jen had.

None of them had that spark, which made me say I love you more than life itself. None of them made the day that much brighter, made life brighter, not like Jen. I struggled with and understood the notion that each love would be different. but I still secretly harbored hopes of finding one like it. I didn't want to settle, but the older I got, the more lucky I would have to be to find the one.

Then, during one of my many stints online, there she was my ouroboros. I hadn't intended to spy on her, but when she mentioned going to the zoo to see the new snow leopard exhibit, I idly looked it up and did a double take when I read the name of the zoo. It was a local one in my city. I looked up if any other zoo was opening a snow leopard exhibit. but none were on the dates she said; only the local one was opening on Saturday.

I sat back. She was here. She was in my city, in our city. She was a reality I could reach out to, not just a fantasy. I went to the exhibit I wasn't sure why I didn't know what she looked like. I berated myself for my irrational actions. I stood in front of the glass, admiring the big cats, when I noticed a small girl standing next to me. I looked at her, my green eyes meeting her gray ones.

She gave me a kind but nervous smile and looked back at the big cats. Children pushed past her, pressing their faces against the glass, excitedly chatting to one another. I noticed her take leave her kindness in letting the children's enjoyment come first over her own was something I admired. One of the children bumped me, and I pressed myself flat against the glass to avoid the hoard that swarmed past me.

I wandered around the zoo, idly saying to myself how silly it was to come here and how likely it actually was that I would of seen her. It couldn't have been that gray-eyed girl I tried to convince myself. I looked at the zebras and lions aimlessly, wondering about the zoo, before heading back home. I couldn't get that gray-eyed girl out of my head. Was it her, though? Could it be her? Did fate bring us together? In some unlikely happenstance? I shook my head, trying to clear such fantasies.

During another one of late-night chats, I asked my ouroboros more about her hobbies. I was determined to find out if it really was her. I visited each rink in our city. visiting a new one each week till I saw her. her short brown hair waving in the breeze kicked up from her ease of motion on skates. I watched from afar, pretending to play some of the arcade games that littered the floor around the skate rink itself.

Maybe it was just a coincidence, or maybe not. I watched as she took off her skates and headed home. I was certain it was the same girl I saw at the zoo. My excitement was mounting two things, my dear Ouroboros said, and there was the same girl. Next, I visited each comic shop till I found the right one; she was deep in a match with someone already.

Her head rose and met my eye. I quickly darted out of view, my heart pounding in my chest. She was ouroboros! I was certain of it. three things, and it was all the same girl; there was no way it could be someone else. I ached to stroll over and casually strike up a conversation, but I didn't want to bother her in the middle of her game.

I heard her opponent say, "Sarah, everything alright?" I didn't hear her reply I was to deep in thought Sarah? Was that her name? I was breathing hard. I instead asked the shop owner what he recommended I purchase to play the game. I purchased all he recommended, from starter decks to an entire box. I went home looking up online how to play so that when I was ready, I could play a match against her and strike up a conversation.

Maybe ask her out for a coffee. I couldn't stand seeing her from afar. I needed to know her intimately, from where she resided to her habits. I wanted to know her. She was more cautious going out to places; it seems she knew somehow I was admiring her from afar. I wasn't a predator, just a harmless admirer who hoped to somehow gain note in her eye.

I hoped someday to be apart of her life; she need not fear me. I had finally with some difficulty, followed her home; she was crafty, always seemingly giving me the slip. After that discovery, I hired a private investigator, claiming that she was my girlfriend. That I suspected her of cheating on me, and that I wanted her followed and a report on her habits. I gave him her address and her first name he obliged, accepting the generous cash tip I gave him. He was known for his discretion and tight lips. I felt safe hiring him a few weeks later, he threw a file on my desk.

saying "I don't suspect her of cheating; there's her habits and schedule" He gave me a look; "you didn't see her once"

I played it off the best; I could say that "I was just extremely busy with work" I handed him the rest of his cash payment. I grabbed his wrist, looking him in the eye. "I can trust your discretion?"

He only nodded his head. "Here" he said retrieving from his pocket a key "in case you lost yours." He once again gave me an odd look and left. I took the key, placing it next to the folder with shaky hands, I opened the file it read. Sarah Newton goes to work at a local nick-nack store. She works from 9 to 5 on weekdays; she goes skating on Fridays and plays cards on Saturdays.

I saw snaps surreptitiously taken of her going to work, skating, playing cards with friends, happy smiling so full of life. the sparkle in her eye, I fingered the key the detective had given me. I waited until Sarah had left for work. I had purchased the necessary equipment to tap her house with cameras, and I sent her a link on her computer. which bugged her computer I could see what she browsed on it.

I looked up tutorials on how to install the cameras, praying I did a good enough job she wouldn't notice. I then left, leaving everything the best I could the way she left it. I observed her that evening when she got home; she seemed to have known I was there earlier that day. as she cautiously padded through her living space, looking behind every corner and door.

I wondered how could she have known did I leave something out of place? Was she that observant? I watched her finally settle into her home. satisfied, no one was there. I watched her for weeks, seeing what she browsed. observing the kinks she wouldn't openly admit to me.

To my surprise, many of them we shared, and made me feel closer to her. She would sometimes read porn but didn't masturbate to it just read it, which puzzled me. Did she have that much guilt over sex that she would read about it but wouldn't allow herself to get off from it? torturing herself with longing but never allowing herself to partake? She read many stories, but only one she kept returning to often.

It told of a young woman who was captured by a man who forced her to confront her wanton desires. introducing her to impact play, binding forced orgasms and ruined ones. showing her the delights of pain and pleasure and so much more. I concluded that this story theme of forced acclamation to one's desires. was what she desired as I gently prodded her to share hers. She admitted one night the scenario of being forced to feel pleasure and accept her desires was appealing.

Which sent a knowing smile across my face. Of course, she couldn't see it separated by our distance behind screens. I asked why she hadn't pursued what she wanted. I tried to encourage her to seize her chance before it was too late. She just backtracked, saying she was too cowardly to pursue it, and I left it at that.

I felt a twinge. I knew how she felt when I was younger. I felt immense guilt over my proclivities. I was friends with a fellow that had an entire server he set up where he would post porn in. He had a specific character he really liked; he had posted one day of her bound and gagged being fucked from behind. with a caption saying, "Cum for me, you little slut" I felt the heat rise in my own cheeks and the slow swelling of my dick that had begun to press uncomfortably against my trousers.

I longed to be that male pounding her from behind, seeing that level of desire in her eyes. Me and my friend were both young men just entering college. Me and Jen had just met as well and had started going out. I studied the image; was there more like this? I sheepishly asked my friend later in a voice chat when we were playing video games. what that image was his mocking response of "what? Do you like this stuff? This BDSM shit. You like seeing pussy being put in its place, huh? You don't really like this shit do you?" I felt embarrassed.

I backtracked a little and said "it was just not something he would normally post, so I was curious" but his mocking of my budding interest made me cringe and not want to share or feel that vulnerable again. It stung and made me feel guilty for finding enjoyment in the scenario. I kept it to myself for a solid year, hoarding more images and videos of such debasement. exploring my desires and buding kinks till Jen walked in on me one day and asked me what I was looking at. I guilty exited out of the video I was watching, but she persisted in an amusing tone. "What were you watching, Silas?" She walks over, putting a hand on my shoulder. I prepared myself for her to mock me as well or, even worst, break up with me after seeing I was a deviant.

Shame tainted my actions, and I slowly showed her sheepishly what I was watching. She just kindly asked, "Do you like this, Silas?" After the video had done playing, her hazel eyes meeting mine. I nodded eyes down, casted "well if you" she faltered and hesitated, then cleared her throat. "If you wanted to try some of this stuff, I will be willing to give it a go" she meekly said.

I looked up in disbelief. She was willing to try this with me. "really?" I asked incredulously she nodded shyly. I stood up and swept her up into my arms. I looked into her eyes. I had never felt love to someone like I had in that moment. holding her in my arms, and so our amateur adventuring into such dynamics began.

It was thrilling, and finding that she thrived under the roll of submissive under my growing confidence of dominate was invigorating. I attended some classes with her to learn how to tie her safely, and we watched videos together on how to enact different scenarios. to keep the tone right what to watch out for and general safety.

I remember the first time me and Jen tried out our rolls the silliness and awkwardness of the whole thing. made it hard to get into the headspace needed in our dynamic. I had used the rope tying skills I had learned from the class. to truss her in a rope harness, binding her arms behind her back ankles tied to her upper thighs.

She was on her knees before me; she was nervously fidgeting in her bindings. I watched her for a few minutes, then I saw her relax into the strain of the rope on her flesh. A calm look flashed across her face as she brought her eyes up to meet mine. The look in them of longing and growing arousal was unmistakable. In that moment, I felt I was exactly where I was meant to be.

I was in my element. I ran my hands gently over her body, tracing a finger down her spine. tickling the pad of a foot or wiggling my fingers across her stomach, watching how she reaction. I took a thumb and gently ran it over a nipple, working it into a stiff peak. watching the rising flush of red spread across her chest neck and face, her breath quickened.

I yanked her forward, her breasts pressed into the bed her lower torso raised in the air as she rested on her knees. I gently traced my fingers over her puffy nether lips watching her wiggle and press slightly back against my fingers. I traced a finger down the entire length of her slit, drawing her wet arousal forth. Her panting gasps as I begun to pleasure her brought a smile to my face.