Chapter 4 Part 1 ~ What a Saturday
This extension of the Never Again Series is for the multiple angry and unsatisfied looking emails and comments I received. I apologize because I really did not believe anyone enjoyed my little story all that much, but I see now that what I did was wrong and insensitive to readers. I thank you for taking an interest...Here we go...
*
Two Months Later
I felt bad. Not for me, but for Jason. He went along with only a broken heart. I think the real tragedy still remained he had no idea I was pregnant. I remembered sitting on that bathroom floor ready to slit my wrists. I remember...
About a month after finding out I had gotten a job at a bank (lucky me) as a teller making ten dollars an hour and working forty hours a week. Dad let me stay at home so that I would save every penny. Regardless of what had happened before, he was still my dad and to be honest my sexual appetite died with the knowledge of a birth. My dad had implored me to take the alternative to birth, but I couldn't. Not all babies born of my situation came out to be handicapped. I've nothing against the action, but I'd made my choice.
One day I had to come in on a Saturday to fill in for someone. I was angry because I NEVER worked on Saturday, but I was always the person they went to for extra help. I was the newb. The day started out ridiculously slow and boring, but Saturdays at a bank are always that way.
I sat on my little mahogany stool playing Song Pop on Facebook waiting for another customer to come in. I heard the bell jingle and without looking said, "I can help you over here."
"I need to deposit this."
I looked up and starred into the man's eyes. His face was caked with black dust and his fingernails were broken. His face was a little bloody from scars but those beautiful blue eyes sparkled bright as they ever did toward my tight shirt and slight bump on my tummy.
"Jason"
"Layna is that-are you?"
I grabbed the check and asked for his account number and I.D. The check was for twelve hundred thirteen dollars and ten cents. I tried to keep my surprise locked up while I attempted to ignore his question.
"Layna. Is..."
"I get off in a few minutes. We can talk then."
--------
I couldn't take my eyes off her stomach. I was angry, excited, and sad all at the same time. How could she not tell me? It's my baby. But, it could be...
I walked around back and met Layna outside by her car. She looked more beautiful than ever and I still wanted her after everything that had happened. She walked over to me and stood with her arms folded upon her breasts. The wind whipped her hair across her face and I couldn't find the words to tell her or ask her what needed to be said.
"I do not know if it's yours Jason, I'm sorry."
"It's mine."
I stood there with my head down and heart pounding. I wanted her in my arms. She was, is, the only thing that completes me.
"You don't know that."
"Even if it's not biologically mine, it's mine. I love you. And I'm going to love that baby."
"I contemplated..."
"I know. You don't have to justify anything, because I l-"
"Don't. Just don't. You know it's not even possible for us to be together. Not to mention I am moving into an apartment soon. I do not need that kind of thing hanging over my head."
She nudged me out of the way of her car door and got inside. She was shaking and began to cry. I held back tears for her and for me. She managed to start the car and I banged on her window. She rolled it down, slowly and reluctantly.
"Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you alone."
"Jason I-"
"TELL ME".
I couldn't hold back tears anymore. I was begging for her to take me or end my pain.
She sped off almost rolling over my feet and though I was crying I was relieved. She needed me just as badly as I needed her. It wasn't over...
-------
I sat in my room and thought about Marrissa. Oh how I missed her. I broke everyone's heart, including my daughter's. I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to feel something besides this hurt.
The house was empty and I stayed in my room, in the dark lying on my bed, thinking about Marrissa and how great it was to be with her. Her beautiful eyes and long flowing hair; the way it brushed my face as she was grinding on me, taking me deeper and deeper into her. I missed the scent she carried on her skin and the warmth of her breasts as they pressed against me. I wanted her back. Fuck I wanted her...
I closed my eyes and removed my shirt and unbuckled my pants; so confining. I had to have the pain out of my head if only for a moment. I thought about her and slipped my right hand down to my jeans. My dick was so hard and felt like it was going to explode. I gripped it tight and a sigh parted my lips and I whispered her sweet, sweet name...
---
I drove home covered in dirt, sweat and tears. The tear streaks on my face made it look like I had some sort of tribal war paint on my face. In a way, I thought it fitting. I was fighting for my love, my child, and my life. Sometimes I doubted whether my pain without her would end and sometimes, I couldn't control myself without her. I missed her voice, her touch, her lips, her breasts, her- oh no.
I started to get hard, unbearably so. I was on my way to my new apartment when for some reason I made a left instead of a right. I don't know what I was thinking. I take that back. I know exactly what I was thinking. I needed to come. I couldn't have Layna right now and that hurt, but only made my animalistic side come out. There was no stopping this.
I sat in my, Marrissa's , driveway and stared at the bedroom window. The light was on and a silhouette swayed ever so gracefully as if she knew I was there. I needed to feel complete, if only for a moment.
I continued to stare at her as she danced around. She couldn't have known I was there, but the way she danced suggested that she was showing off for someone. No matter. I unzipped my pants and began to stroke myself and pretend that in the window, it was Layna and we were role playing. She held her breasts and leaned backward flipping and waving her long dark hair. I watched her move her hands down to her pussy. Oh that sweet, beautiful thing.
"Yes. Fuck yourself for me."
I imagined she was saying my name. I couldn't take it. I had to have a tight pussy wrapped around me. I had to drown out the pain.
I speed walked to the front door and rang the bell over and over until she opened it. She answered with a black lace thong and a tight black tank top that did nothing to conceal her erect nipples. I lightly grabbed her by the throat, closed the door and backed her against the wall plunging my tongue deep within her mouth and pulled out.
"You knew I was coming didn't you, bitch?"
She didn't look scared, but she was definitely surprised; clearly aroused. I violently pulled down her shirt so that her tits hung out of the top and began sucking and biting on her nipples while sliding my left hand to feel her warm, wet mound. Fuck that's good.
"Yes Jason I-"
"Don't fuckin' say shit. This isn't for you. I need to come."
"I-"
I put my hand on her throat. She still thought it was a joke. No matter. I pulled out my hard dick and pushed her head down to it.
"Shut the fuck up and suck my dick and do it well."
She was willing but hesitant and began to circle her tongue around the head of my cock. I placed my right hand on the back of her head and left hand on the wall. I scraped the paint off trying to hold on for dear life. Her lips and hands we so soft around me, but I didn't want to be tender. I began to thrust hard down her throat making her heave.
"Spit on my dick and suck it hard."
