***** This is the final part of this story. It contains some non-con elements, some gay male sex, some hetero sex, and a whole lot of emotional turmoil. There is also a lot of cooking, drinking of wine, some drug taking, and quite a lot of breakfast. I blame Vince Gilligan. *****
Nate woke to the sound of the fan slowly rotating above him and lay with his eyes closed, just glad to have something soft under him.
The hangover, however—he could have done without that.
He sent his mind back to the night before, unpicking it, making sure he'd done everything right. He thought he had... but how Colin behaved today would tell him how close he was to his ultimate goal.
It was crucial that he didn't rush things. Colin needed to convince himself that his feelings for Nate were deep and real. Otherwise, when Nate made his bid for freedom, Colin would continue to pursue him for revenge, or... if by some miracle he let Nate go anyway, Nate would have no way to make him suffer.
And Nate needed him to suffer.
The man was a violent bully. He had no boundaries. All the things he'd done; sending Alec to 'sort' him, kidnapping him from Savage Palace and taking him to Malaga II, the beating he'd taken at the hands of the Kings... Nate would never have let any of that go, but he might have risked escape and taken his revenge later.
If.
If Colin hadn't drugged
Alec
, putting an eighteen year old kid physically and mentally at risk... and then let Nate think
he'd
done it—had broken rules he'd set for himself in the darkest time of his life, a code of ethics that was his only way of holding himself apart from the shit he swam in every day...
Nate couldn't let that go.
He wasn't leaving this house until Colin was broken. Until Colin knew what it was to feel hope and have it dashed. To think his fantasy could come true; to think he might find love in the object of his obsession and then have his heart ripped out.
Nate needed that. Needed to taste Colin's despair, and watch his hope bleed out as he walked away.
He rested a hand against his morning wood and realised his hunger was rising again. The more his anger burned against Colin, the harder it made him. Sick, but true. And keeping his urges in check was going to be a struggle, especially when every move he made had to be strategic.
It was a shame they were so far from civilisation. He wondered if Enrique liked guys as much as his brother did—or if there was someone else nearby whose head—or sexuality—Nate could turn.
There was a knock on the bedroom door.
"Are you awake?" Ellie.
"I'll be down soon."
He waited until her footsteps receded, then worked off his frustration as best he could.
* * * * *
Colin caught his wrist as he walked past the table towards the kitchen and dragged him into the chair next to him.
"Have some breakfast lad."
"There's eggs, cereal and bacon," said Ellie, pointing to the spread.
May as well.
Nate felt their eyes on him as he poured cereal into a bowl and added milk.
He put a hand to his head and winced. "Anyone got any pain killers?"
"I do," said Ellie. "I'll go get them. You sit there, love."
She disappeared upstairs.
Nate picked up his spoon and Colin put a hand over his.
"Ellie and I are going out for the day, but after that we need to talk, you and I."
"I know I left a mess last night. I'll clean up while you're gone."
Nate put a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.
"It's not about that." Colin's lips moved as if he wanted to say something else, but wasn't brave enough to voice it out loud.
Nate paused eating. "Is it about Alec? Is he all right? Can I see him?"
Colin picked up a piece of toast and spread butter across it.
"I thought you were letting him go."
Nate swallowed. "I am. I just want to know he's okay."
Colin paused, his toast halfway to his mouth. "I don't have any more diaries."
"Then let me see him on Skype. Please!"
Colin dropped his head to his chest and sighed. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Nate let his spoon drop back into his bowl and pushed his chair back. "I'll go start tidying up."
"Finish your breakfast."
"I'm not hungry."
Colin's lip curled into a snarl, his knife held in a death-grip.
"I said finish your fucking breakfast!"
For a moment Nate saw something in Colin's eyes that made him reconsider his plan. The man had an impulsive streak in addition to his cruelty that could lead to real violence.
Nate wasn't too worried about a fist fight, but if he pricked the man's pride at the wrong moment and Colin picked up a weapon, bad things might happen.
Ellie came back down the stairs and gave her husband a wary look as he glowered at Nate. She dropped a couple of paracetamol into Nate's hand and closed his fingers around them.
"Go get a glass of water, love."
Nate headed for the kitchen.
As he downed the painkillers, it occurred to him that if he left and Ellie stayed, he'd be leaving someone he'd grown to care about in danger.
You should tell her to run.
And he would. But not until the ankle monitor was off, and he had his passport in his hand.
* * * * *
After they left, Nate cleaned up the house from the night before, then retreated to his room.
He sat cross-legged on his bed in the mid-morning sunshine and imagined what it would have been like to have grown up in a house like this. Safe. Warm. Sleeping in a room where the door stayed shut all night.
Colin was so close to having everything Nate wanted, and he deserved none of it.
So make it happen. Go get Alec and make this life with him.
He didn't have that kind of money. He had money, yes, he made good coin, but he had no idea how long that would last. He lived his life no more than a heartbeat away from cocking everything up, and he knew that would never change. It was who he was.
Christ, he'd never planned on living this long. The only reason he'd kept going when the darkness closed in was that Adeel had given him everything he had—and that was a debt you never stopped paying back. Every time he shed his dignity, it was Adeel's quiet, measured voice he heard in his head.
Survive, Nathan. You must survive.
He sighed.
So don't just take Colin's dignity. Take his money.
Well, some of it. Enough to get a house like this. And to live on for the rest of his and Alec's lives. How much would they need? A million quid didn't go far anymore. Assuming Colin had a million quid free to hand over. He suspected the man didn't. It was likely all tied up in assets.
No, taking Colin's money wasn't an option. He and Alec would have to figure things out between them. Maybe if they had two incomes. Nate was sure he could pay Alec's way through university, providing he could keep it together long enough. And then if they—
Really Nate? He's known you for two weeks, and you're already planning a life with him?
It was crazy. It'd never work. Even if he could convince Alec he hadn't drugged him, after Colin's cult had finished trying to straighten the kid out, there was a good chance his lover would never want to see him again.
He lay back on the bed and watched the ceiling fan rotate in endless, lazy circles.
How long did you need to know someone to fall in love, anyway?
Longer than two weeks.
He sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed, and caught sight of himself in the mirror. The red scarred 'A' in its circle, carved into his arm. Remembered how close he'd come to letting the Kings kill him when he'd thought Alec had given up on him.
So maybe he hadn't known Alec long enough to fall in love. Except that he
was
in love. And even if it didn't work out, even if it was doomed, that didn't mean it wasn't worth trying. Neither of them had anything to lose.
If only he had some way of contacting him.
Well, there is Colin's laptop.
Oh, for crying out loud, how had he missed that? Alec's video diaries might well be on the laptop. Colin might even still be signed into Skype, Nate just hadn't thought to look.
He pushed himself off the bed and went hunting.
He was in luck. Engrossed in his own drama, Colin had once again forgotten to lock it away. Nate lay on the man's bed, tucked a pillow under his chest, and opened the laptop.
Colin was logged out of Skype, and his password wasn't any variation on Nate's name. But a quick search found three videos on the hard drive with 'Alec' in the title.
The first he'd already seen. The second was labelled, 'Reclamation Session 21st June Alec Faulkner'.
He clicked on it with a sense of trepidation.
It was instantly obvious that Alec wasn't aware there was a camera watching him. Whether it was a laptop, or a desktop with a camera at the end of his bedroom, whoever had recorded this had activated it without him knowing.
Alec sat on the end of his bed with his arm around a good-looking girl about his age.
"How does that feel?" she asked. She had a South London accent—a posh South London accent.
For a moment Nate was confused.
How does what feel?
Then he realised the camera cut off the image at waist height, the muscles in the girl's left shoulder working as her hand explored further down.
Christ, no.
Alec looked away, his face bright red. He got to his feet and put his arms across his chest.
"Seriously Suze, don't do that, yeah?"
At least he was still dressed. And as far as Nate could see, not even slightly aroused.
Nate noticed movement outside the mesh windows that ran down the right wall of the bedroom. It was hard to tell from the angle, but it looked like the shadow of legs as people walked past. If the place had windows at pavement level, that'd make it easier to find.
The girl got up and snaked her arms around Alec from behind, pressing her face to his back. Only Nate could see the agonised look in his lover's eyes as he rested his hands over hers.
"He loves you, Alec," said the girl. "I can feel His love moving through you, leading you back to His light. He wants you to be happy, Alec. He wants you to have all the good things in His world. He wants you to feel his everlasting love. You just have to believe in Him."
"Believe." His voice was dull. He pulled away from the girl and faced her.
"Suze, your God don't care about me, or my mates. If we take a cock up the arse, your God wants nothing to do with us."
The girl took his hands. "That's why He sent you to us. Don't you see, Alec? He has so much love to give you, if you just let him in."
Alec shook his head. "There's love in this world, Suze, but it's not coming from your god. Believe."
'Suze' touched his face. "You're so beautiful, Alec. But so broken."
Alec moved in close to her, forcing her to look up to meet his gaze. His chest swelled as he drew himself upwards.
"I'm
broken?"
The girl's expression hardened into anger.
"You know what, Alec, I'm starting to think you can't be helped."
Alec snorted. "Not by you, love."
He smiled down at her with a dark grace that made Nate's stomach jump.
