My Rape: Act 03

Act 3 Showed

I woke Sunday morning with the sound of my shower. Tina stood beside me in the dim dawn. She lay down on me. My arms were still tied out stretched to the headboard but so I could move around and not cramp up. I was gagged but not blindfolded.

"Helen, I think he's having second thoughts. Honest, I didn't want to take him away from you. I don't. But, god, he is a man, a real man, in bed, in me, on me. I think he likes my tits, not better than yours but, you know, different! Listen, he, he has a fantasy and I insisted that you'd do whatever you could to keep him. I did. He wanted me to do it for him, leave you here but I told him, I said he should let you. Try at least. Now, here's where I might have fucked up a little. I told him if you refused, then, then I would but he had to give you the chance, first I mean."

God, she seemed so sincere. I almost believed her, you know, that she thought she was taking care of me and not, how do I say this? She thought she was being generous or virtuous by lining me up to do whatever he wanted and yet, she wanted to be there, to see whatever he had in mind happen even to the point of substituting for me if it was too extreme, as she hoped it would be. There's the thing, she wanted to watch him break me. I felt warm inside, knowing that he was raping us both and that if he hadn't broken the little glass globe inside me filled with fear by now, I wasn't going to let it happen using her collaboration. I'd endure whatever they had in mind.

So, well, I almost believed her. Well, I did believe her really. It was funny, she was trying to convince me to do whatever he said and I'd already done that. She couldn't know. I wasn't going to tell her.

I shook my head, gabbling into the gag.

She grimaced and released it from my mouth. It was sopped with drool. I gasped and sucked when she pulled it loose.

"Is it negotiable?" I asked. Tina almost appeared surprised, thinking, I supposed that I'd refuse outright and she could slither in. She wanted to snake him out from under me, or from between my legs...if she only knew. When he entered her, it was rape, taking what wasn't his...or was it? Since she clearly was giving it up, participating and willingly, even eagerly. The conundrum didn't evaporate in the heat of orgasm, hers or mine. Certainly not his, so the question remained with me and truthfully, I rather savored it, keeping it sharp on my tongue like the taste of his cum. I'd completely gone to Stockholm by that point. I knew that and I didn't care, couldn't remember caring.

"What do you mean?" Tina asked, so sincerely puzzled, I almost believed her, again. I took her at her word however and did my best to explain, without telling her the truth.

"I mean, do you think I can ask for something, you know, in return? Make a trade?" I had a perverse thought and couldn't help myself. I was bleary from sleep and she wasn't making a lot of sense, not to me, not at that time. Later, later I'd understand, perfectly.

Tina shrugged. She wore my favorite robe and damn if she didn't look good in it. It was too small for her so her tits pushed out, making it gap in front, showing her cleavage. For the first time since she first cornered me into having sex with her, I didn't resent her in every facet of her being. For the first time I could show her what I was feeling, even though I had no idea how to label it. I lifted my head and pecked at her lips.

"What if I insist that I'll do it all, if he takes your ass? Would that work do you think? I know you want it."

Her face was comical. She first looked surprised then chagrined and finally sly.

"I know you want to see that, Helen. If you want to see him fuck me in the ass, I won't scream, not as an objection anyway." She blushed, even in the dim light I could see her face darken, looking more gray around her freckles.

The shower shut off. It was my turn. Tina released me and explained to him I agreed to try at least, whatever it was he had in mind. So we were agreed. It was like we were a trio. We were all showered, dressed and out the front door with a minimum of discussion. He only gave me a dark look to which I nodded, telling him I wasn't going to upset the little vignette we were acting out, not now; if that was his meaning, the question he asked or the command he gave, we were in agreement. I wondered if anyone knew he was here, what he was doing or what it meant. Did my neighbors know I was having sex with my husband gone? Only after trooping out to Tina's BMW did I think about how silly that was. We did have neighbors after all but it was before nine on a cloudy Sunday morning so surely no one noticed the three of us leaving, so early, two MILFs and my rapists. I just hoped they all stayed in bed for their weekly fuck and didn't see us get into the car together.

We drove out of the neighborhood to the other side of the city, downtown near the Mainstreet Mall where the tourists were, where buses ran every fifteen minutes for the River Live Festival going on that weekend. During the first part of the day, to the Festival the buses were full. The last part of the day, the buses were full in the other direction back to the commercial center, where most people parked so it formed a loop but over time. People would eat and then ride the bus down to the Festival and walk it off, then ride back to finish out their Sunday, on their knees, praying or fucking or confessing they were going to fuck.

We found a place with only a half an hour wait, waited and then got breakfast. It was nearly eleven by the time we walked out of the place. Oddly, Antonio had his arm around Tina and I fluttered beside them like a third wheel. Tina kept glancing at me, guiltily I thought so I decided to take the bull by the horns and fit her expectations exactly. I didn't fully understand what that meant.

"So? What do I need to do to get her away from you?" I asked them.

"Her? Away from me?" Antonio asked.

I realized only then what I'd said. I meant to say "to get you away from her" but bungled my lines. I decided to stick with that.

"She clearly likes you in her. What do I need to do to get you in me?"

His look was priceless. That dark, haunted look that was sexy or would have been if I hadn't been fully privy to its cause and origin, had lightened. In that moment, it shifted from his guarded, brooding expression to something else akin to amazement, rather like a kid with a new toy. Me, I hoped.

At brunch we'd chattered about nothing much and laughed and generally had a good, light-hearted time, although I did feel like two people. I'd had a moment when Tina went to the toilet and left us alone when I thought about what was happening again. I didn't even mention it. I decided, for this weekend, I wasn't Helen the housewife and mother, I was Helen Wheels. I'd smiled at the thought and let my mind laze into blankness, not caring what happened next. Antonio had stared at me, I think he was waiting for some discussion of this most peculiar rape, some explanation or request or something to reference the truth that he was my rapist, not my lover. He was waiting for me to step out of character and accuse him of raping us both. At that moment, I barely cared. My "normal" life had receded, almost disappearing behind a haze of guilty pleasure selected from my choices, selecting to embrace the sex rather than to break the fragil bulb holding the fear away from me, safely stored inside me but not yet poisoning my flesh. I don't think he understood that. I wonder if anyone could. Fuck, I had decided to like being raped, to have orgasms and survive rather than fight it all and have it score and scar me, body and soul, a spiritual tattoo that everyone could see but with a symbolism no one would understand and I would never forget. I was in the process of creating a cocoon for my secret and I hoped it'd emerge a beautiful butterfly rather than a ravenous monster that would destroy my life and everyone around me. I had consciously faced the risks, ego destruction or compliance and I chose duplicitous compliance, an erotic quisling who surrendered all dignity and self-respect to the prospect of pleasure as the antidote to terror. That was my gamble.

This moment was between us and Antonio looked at me differently. He knew I could no more call the cops on him now than I could refuse him if he wanted to fuck me again. Whatever he wanted, I'd do, I'd give him for Tina's sake but also for my own, to defeat the fear waiting to destroy me but also, and I knew this in my heart because of the thrill that I'd found, having him take me and share me. Now, whatever else he wanted, I seemed ready to let him have it, to do it for him or with him or to him. I'd become his to play with and no longer resented Tina's use of me. I was beyond that and I think that reality finally appeared to him in technicolor and high definition.

That was the aura around the two of us, invisible to Tina when I addressed myself to him out in the bleary sunshine after brunch. I emerged out of my lethargic, post-orgasmic haze to ask what I had to do to get him away from Tina, expressing the implicit wish to have him for myself. The transformation of my rape into my fantasy, and his, was complete and now, now Antonio knew it for certain. He smiled. It was a smile of anticipation and amazement but also relief, like he was a scuzzy guy suddenly the center of attention of a bunch of number ten models, all with the same agenda, to use her teeth to measure the length of his cock. I asked and his face clicked through several expressions.

Asking in that moment, then was a spurred inspiration, and wholly unplanned but I think in retrospect, unavoidable. If I surrendered, I needed someone to surrender to and it had to be him. I told him as much and I think he understood at least in part.

"So? What do I need to do to get her away from you?" I asked, bungling my lines.

Antonio regarded me for a moment then looked back at Tina. She looked up at him, her face full of anticipation.

"She said if you refuse me, she'll do it, what I want you to do." He said somberly. His manner was so serious, I felt it, a twinge of fear. I cursed the moment. I'd done so well, to this point, avoiding and denying and starving the fear of air, I didn't want it to come panting to life now!

"Is this a challenge then? Like Simon says?"

The man, my rapist laughed then, softly, like a breeze when the day had been still till then. He seemed to be thinking, considering. I imagined he was thinking of something he could do that I'd resist, that I'd finally break and wail and cry and he was drawn to the ledge in my world, desiring to push me over it and see what happened. He wanted to push my boundaries, press me to the limit and finally to break me. I set my teeth; he would not break me.

"All I ask is that you walk with us." He said softly. "Don't interfere, don't appear to be with us exactly, I mean, be close, shadow us, like you're a spy. Watch but don't be obvious. When I want something from you, you'll know. Trust me."

Tina giggled, that high, nervous sound that set my teeth on edge.

I thought it was strange, a strange request by any measure, well, until we got down to the River Live Festival. The Festival had little or no parking so they arranged for buses to run back and forth to major commercial areas, malls or the Main Street Mall where we were. Parking and the buses were free for the weekend and everyone benefited. We boarded a bus but they, Antonio and Tina sat together, his arm around her shoulders, the perfect MILF and her boytoy couple. I stood behind them, clinging to my own pole and watched people eye them, particularly when he tipped her chin up and kissed her voraciously for like a minute or more. She kissed him back. It was so sexy to watch and to see the other people eying them, confused by the public display of affection between a thirty something woman and a man in his early twenties. He treated her like a girl. She acted like one, dizzied by his attention and panting after it with obvious desire. At one point, he bent around her and kissed her between the breasts.

Only when they rose and got off the bus, me following behind them, did I notice when she turned to look around that her blouse was unbuttoned down over her bra so that it showed plainly, her breasts displayed fetchingly in its clutches. They stood there in the wash of people and embraced. She put her arms over his shoulders, crossing her wrists behind his head while he kissed her. His hands grasped her ass and massaged it. They just stood there, kissing.

What was I supposed to do?

I went and sat on a bench and tried not to stare at them. Instead of focusing on his hands on her ass, and feeling them on mine as if he were there with me again, I focused on the people sidling past them. It was like they were invisible but for impossible moments, came into view and people would stare at them surprised before losing them in some magical vanishing act.

Finally, they stopped tonguing each other and began to walk. Tina had a purse over her shoulder. They walked awkwardly, his hand around her back and under her arm, hidden from me by her purse. I walked past them and stopped at a booth to glance at them. From the front I could see his hand over her breast, clearly. She constantly craned up her neck, projecting her mouth for a kiss that always turned lascivious. They approached the morning band, huddling into the crowd. She turned her back to him, still in his arms, pressing her ass against his crotch, for surely he was hard. I moved around the fringe of the crowd until I could see them from the front, mostly to the side. People were clapping and white people dancing, you know, not moving their feet at all but ruining their knees with something resembling the rhythm of the music. Occasionally they'd shift away so I could see Tina clearly.

Her jeans were unbuttoned and his hand was deep in them. I glanced at her eyes and she was staring straight at me. My god, I was suddenly breathless. She bit her lip and her head jerked to one side though she kept her eyes on me, though they were half closed. I groaned. His other hand appeared, looping inside her blouse and even under the bra, massaging her breast. I stared at them petting and panting and kissing in the crowd, groaning with lust, my body quivering with the memory of his hands on me, from the first terrible moment to the last time he'd touched me last night. It was nearly as real to me standing there watching him handle her as it was when it happened. My body certainly seemed to react in nearly the same ways and with the same intensity.

Abruptly they walked away, turning towards me so I could clearly see her blouse unbuttoned to her waist. Her tits were cupped in the bra still but she looked so sexy slipping through the crowd. Then I lost sight of them. They simply disappeared. I walked to where I'd seen them last and looked around, not frantically but with curiosity, and a little irritation that they'd eluded me for surely this was an accident. I felt stupid, gazing around, like I was lost when I'd been left. Suddenly I felt abandoned and the chagrin grew with each minute that passed.

When they reappeared, the first thing I noticed was that her blouse was buttoned up again. When I looked closer, I realized her bra was missing. I could see her tits ghosting through the fabric. She'd taken off her bra! For some reason that made me jealous. The next time they stopped to kiss, one of his hands remained between them. When they parted, I got a flash of her bare breasts while she hurriedly buttoned up her blouse. Clearly he had unbuttoned her blouse and had fondled her while they were kissing. When I looked at her eyes they had that glazed, harried look she got when she was aroused and being teased, a look I knew so well. He was arousing her, teasing her, touching her and then leaving her teetering on the edge of climax, repeating it over and over again.

At one point, they stopped and he went off to a booth to get them a big pretzel with cheese. Tina turned to find me, spying me she looked at me hard, as if trying to push a thought through the air into my eyes and thence into my brain. Whatever she was saying, whatever message she sent to me, I got nothing. Antonio returned with a big pretzel smeared with cheese. Tina put her hands behind her back, locking them together as though she were tied as I had been. He fed her a bit of pretzel but smeared cheese over her lips and chin. He, then, licked it off, swiping at her mouth with his tongue until she seized him by the face and made him kiss her. They took twenty minutes to eat the pretzel, feeding each other bits of it as clumsily as possible and then kissing and licking up the resulting mess.

I wasn't the only one who noticed them. I exchanged looks with several people who variously shrugged, glowered, or licked their lips while Tina was licking cheese off of his lips. If this was his fantasy...I couldn't finish that thought. I expected them to disappear again and resolved not to let them escape because I was sure he'd have her in some secluded spot. When they got off the bench and walked away, I followed, keen to stay with them. To my surprise and chagrin, they headed to the bus departure point. Instead of getting on the bus waiting for riders, they sat and necked for the next thirty minutes, just kissing and handling each other. Her purse sat on his lap and her hand moved between his legs while her blouse ended up unbuttoned and I saw one whole breast at least once, while he pawed the other.

I had to find a way to be inconspicuous and that's not easy. I was wearing a blouse myself but with a short skirt that showed off my ass and legs. When I stood by and stared, men leered at me. I was alone in the crowd and felt conspicuous. I was. Men noticed me and gave me a swipe with their eyes even while walking with wives or lovers or whomever. This wasn't a children's event so the people were adults. Antonio kept looking at his phone.

Several buses arrived and departed before Tina and Antonio took any notice and stood up, joining a larger crowd waiting for the next bus. Tina caught my eye and gestured me over with one hand. I didn't know if anyone was watching so I turned and looked behind me as though to show confusion about her sudden notice, like a real stranger would. I walked slowly towards them through the loosely packed crowd huddled around the stop. I had to push and squeeze through people to get close to them. When I arrived behind Tina, she turned around, scanning as though looking for someone or something.

"Stand near us, on the bus." She whispered at me.

I glanced around seeing if anyone else heard or paid her any attention. Antonio glanced over his shoulder and I nodded to him. He gave me no notice, his hand cupped Tina's ass. I heard Tina's voice again.

"You should have listened, done what I did." She said to me. I know it was to me but I couldn't prove it. It made no sense to me. I clung to my purse and waited. When the bus arrived, it was one of the double buses with the flexible middle to help it navigate tight corners. I was mystified. Was his fantasy to walk around the Festival petting Tina all afternoon, or actually, for the hour and a half we'd been there and then leave?

They got on the back end of the bus and I followed. The thing was full and I got squeezed into those standing. More people followed us on and the bus driver asked us to huddle up so everyone could find a place. I saw a space right in front of Antonio and moved to stand there, grasping the pole and hugging it, my elbow holding my purse close.

The bus lurched into gear and on the shift back that follows movement, I felt Antonio's body suddenly cuddle up against me from behind. I had the pole against the front of my body, hands clasping it tightly. As the bus heaved and jerked, he moved ever more tightly against me. I felt his cock, rigid and stiff in his slacks, pressed against my left ass cheek. Suddenly I came aware of his hand on my waist, lightly laying on my left hip bone. He spread his fingers down the flare of my hip. His hand moved so gently, I wasn't even sure it was moving. It was warm through my skirt and blouse, positioned right at the transition where one blended with the other and my bare skin smoldered beneath.