My Name Is Jan

My name is Jan, and this is my story of lust and shame.

I'm in my early twenties, 5 foot 7, slim but with a curvy, feminine figure, 34-24-35. My long flowing black hair contrasts my porcelain fair skin and my pretty, delicate features. I'm of Chinese-Thai descent. My family made their fortune in the timber trade, and thus my family is immensely well off. I live in a huge mock-Tudor style mansion set in a sprawling garden with a swimming pool, with maids tending to my every need. Mainstream transportation and fashion labels are not for me. I get around in a chauffeur driven limo and only the most elegant and exclusive designer dresses and lingerie from Paris and Milan adorn my precious lithe body. But I'm no means a spoilt socialite airhead. I was educated in the most exclusive boarding schools in London and I run a successful chic little restaurant in the hippest part of town.

I've had 2 previous relationships, but through them I had remained a virgin, determined to give my most precious of gifts to my husband on his wedding night. At the start of this story, I was engaged to be married. My fiancé was rich, caring, well respected, but his feeble attempts at foreplay were, sadly, bland and routine. This story is about my first and very immoral lover, a tall, dark and roguishly handsome doctor. He first entered my life 6 years ago, and like a drug, I've been addicted to him ever since, unable to break free from his irresistible charm, wit, and yes, his gorgeous body.

We had met through a mutual friend at a party, and 2 weeks later he called and we met for dinner. I dressed simply, a gauzy thin, dark blue Gucci dress and matching heels. It started innocently enough, with dinner and drinks. He was attentive, funny and very sexy. As the night progressed and the drinks flowed, we became less inhibited and just a little more intimate physically. Innocent holding hands soon graduated to more daring touches of skin, but nothing more. I was engaged, after all. At the end of the evening, he was to drop me off at another friends gathering. I was already halfway out of the car when he leaned over to kiss me goodnight. As soon as our lips met, I melted. To say he was a good kisser would be a massive understatement. The way his lips parted mine, and the way his tongue invaded the privacy of my mouth, all my friends, that gathering I was to attend, my past relationships, everything else, even my fiancé, ceased to matter. I was his for the taking.

He started fondling my body ruthlessly, oblivious to the fact that we were still on a public and very visible street. He reached behind and with a simple flick, unhooked my bra. I gasped in horror at his audacity and skill, but in truth I was incredibly turned on by way his fingers were ravishing my body. My erect nipples protruded through the thin material of my expensive silk dress. When his other hand reached up my dress in between my legs, I offered little resistance as he pushed aside my panties, relishing his caress on my already very aroused and wet pussy. As he slid his finger through my hymen, I gasped and squealed in pain. If my eyes weren't so glazed up by lust, I would have seen the evil glint in his eye, his glee barely concealed, 'A virgin eh? What a surprise!' The pain gradually turned to a numbing pleasure as he skillfully assaulted my g-spot. I was soon thrusting my hips unconsciously, my pussy sucking at his finger. I was hungry.

Maddened by lust and emboldened by alcohol, I reached down to caress the bulge in his pants. Yes, he was pleased to see me. At his encouragement, I unbuttoned him and released the very erect cock that sprung out through his boxers. My 1.5 carat Tiffany solitaire engagement ring glistened in the moonlight as I wrapped my fingers around his thick shaft and started stroking him. He visibly tensed up and his breathing became more rapid and shallow. He arched his back, hungrily asking for more. Oblivious to the lack of privacy, I leaned over and eagerly took him in my mouth. Perhaps that night I unleashed in me a previously unknown exhibitionist streak, perhaps I was eager to leave a good impression, but I took the good doctor through my entire cock-sucking repertoire, licking his shaft, blowing feather kisses all over, taking him deep into my mouth till he reached the back of my throat. He writhed and moaned in appreciation, and as he suddenly pushed me away, I realized that I had taken him to the very edge of a mind-blowing orgasm.

He now reached over and started pulling at my underwear. It was then that I realized the extent of the trouble I was in. Here I was, a rich, cultured and very engaged virgin, getting all hot and sweaty with a virtual stranger on a first date. I was, literally, going to be fucked. 'NO!' I hissed as I closed my legs, 'I'm engaged! This is wrong!'

'But you're so wet.... you like it, don't you?' was his reply as his lips descended upon mine, cutting off any further protests from me. He was right... I was wet. I tried to push him away, but as his lips ravaged mine and his hands fondled my aroused breasts, my body's betrayal was evident. As he reached for my underwear again, I could only lift my buttocks in silent cooperation. As he slid the expensive, brief and by now very damp panties slowly down my thighs, all I could offer as futile resistance was to coyly press my thighs together. His sly charm against my innocent fidelity... we both knew who won.

He drove us a short distance to a secluded park. As we walked into the night, I could feel my juices flow from my naked and very wet pussy down my inner thighs. Nobody had ever aroused me to this extent before. They say that forbidden fruit is sweetest. This is very sweet indeed.

We reached a little pavilion where he stopped. We kissed passionately for the umpteenth time tonight. As he turned me around, and hiked up my dress, I knew the inevitable was about to happen.

'Please don't.... I'm engaged... and I'm a virgin!' I pleaded, but as his hands reached in front of my dress to fondle my breasts and erect nipples, he whispered heavily behind my ear, 'But you want this, don't you?'

'NO!' I panted, but as his other hand reached down in front between my legs to feel my pulsating wet cunt, he knew I was lying.

'Yes you do. I know you want it'.

I kept silent, but as his finger started to rub on my engorged clitoris, a moan escaped from my mouth.

'You like this don't you, little virgin?' he teased as he slowed bent my body forwards. I could feel his massive erection between my bare buttocks.

'Please...' I started before he cut me off, 'Please what? You want me to fuck you don't you, little virgin? Say it!' His cock was now sliding across my very wet and aroused crotch, teasingly me mercilessly.

I moaned uncontrollably, increasingly aware of an urge to pee. My feet unconsciously inched apart, allowing him better access. My orgasm was building, and he knew it. 'You want this don't you?' he persisted.

'Y-Yes' I whimpered, finally relenting.

'Yes what?' he showed no mercy as he plunged his raging cock into the depths of my pussy, 'you want this don't you? You like me fucking you, don't you? SAY IT!'

'ARGGGHHH!!' I screamed as my hymen was ripped to shreds by the forced entry of his massive cock. 'NO NO NO!!' I panted, but each 'no' became less convincing as the inevitable happened and the pain gave way to an indescribable pleasure.

'You're enjoying this aren't you? Say it, you little virgin slut!' he taunted as my moans became more audible.

'Yes-I-like-this-I-like-you-fucking-me!' I gasped jerkily in time with the thrusting of his pelvis, his massive cock filling me up and ripping me apart with a ferocity I had never experienced. The urge to pee became uncontrollable, and finally exploded in a shuddering torrent of spasms as I came....

My mind went blank for what seemed like forever, and when I regained some semblance of control, bliss set in. I smiled in ecstasy. I didn't know if it was the feeling of a raw cock for the first time, or the guilt of my infidelity, or the shock and shame of his forced entry, but this was the best orgasm I ever had!

Here I was, a well-educated high-society girl, in a public park, bent forwards at the hips, tip-toeing in her Ferrangamo heels, designer dress bunched up at the waist, her long legs, bare ass and breasts exposed for all to see, being raped and fucked doggy style like a cheap whore, and inexplicably, loving every minute of it!

As we changed position, I had a glimpse of his erect cock, raw and glistening with a mixture of my cunt juice and my virginal blood. 'This man had taken my virginity!' I thought to myself. The thought was, strangely, a massive turn-on. I turned around and hugged him, as the same time hopping up and wrapping my legs around his waist. I lowered my buttocks and there he was, hot and hard like a molten rod of tempered steel as he slid into me. I gripped him with my pelvic muscles and gyrated my hips wantonly, my body moving and responding in ways I never realized possible.

His thrusts became deeper and more fervent as he edged closer to his climax. I tried to jump off his body but this proved impossible, he had well and truly impaled me with his member.

As he slammed my back onto a stone column, he gave one final thrust toward an explosive, mind blowing orgasm, filling me with his seed. 'NOOOOO!' I gasped as I realized I was unprotected, but it was too late. As I slid off his withering erection, my knees were so weak I could barely stand upright. I had been raped and fucked by this irresistible doctor... it felt so wrong, and yet so right.

As we walked back to the car, I could feel a gooey mess oozing down my thighs, a slimy mixture of his semen, my blood and vaginal secretions. He had unleashed the slut in me, yet the pleasure was mixed with a feeling of indescribable shame. Never again, I vowed to myself.

Over the next few years, I was to realize how wrong and premature that statement was. I broke off the engagement, of course, but thankfully my fiancé never figured out why. The doctor and I had sex in every possible scenario, occasion and position imaginable. He used me like a whore, not treating me with even the slightest modicum of respect, calling me only when he wanted sex. After every fuck session I would fill up with shame and would vow to myself that that was to be the last time, but every time he calls, I would hear his voice and go weak in the knees, my pussy tingling in anticipation. I could have had other lovers, more caring, nicer men, but I stupidly refused to move on, choosing to remain his secret fuck-toy, ready at his beck and call.

At his request, I would wear the sexiest dresses, the skimpiest slips and chemises, the briefest lingerie, or nothing underneath at all. On the streets, women would give me the evil eye, and men would be starring and mentally undressing and raping me, as it was always evident that I was dressed to be fucked, but I didn't care. I was going to be fucked, not by those other men, but by the doctor, and nothing else mattered. Once, in what must have been a moment of insanity, he offered to stop to buy condoms, but I stopped him, wanting to feel him in my pussy, fucking me in all his naked glory.

I remain, to this day, the shining and respectable pillar of upper-crust society, young, rich, beautiful, successful, available yet unattainable. The reality was, of course, unknown to everyone, that I was attainable, but only by the doctor. I could have any man I wanted, but I only lusted over the one man that didn't care for me and used me only for one reason, sex. Yet, for that one reason, I was willing to be used and abused, again and again, by the good doctor.

My name is Jan, and this is my story of lust and shame.