Online dating is challenging. You just never quite know what you are going to end up doing when you meet.
I met Charles for a first date on Wednesday evening, in between my day job and night job. I was clear that if that was when we were to meet that I would only have an hour, but if he wanted to have a longer date, then we could meet for a late supper after 11 pm when I got off work. He chose to stick with the earlier time, but suggested that if we really hit it off, maybe we could meet up again for that late dinner or perhaps drinks.
We met in a pretty little parkette near a gazebo in a trendy section of town. We walked, talked, stopped into a cool little bistro and before we knew it, our time was up and I had to leave for work. He walked me up the block, to a halfway point between where our cars were parked. I expected a kiss, the vibe was definitely there, but then he just shook my hand. As I was about to leave, he gave me a very intense look and held my hand for a long moment, but nothing else, so I decided to move on as I could not fathom what he was thinking or feeling and I didn't have the time to spend figuring it out.
I got to work and quickly texted a thank you for the drink and snack we had and wished him well, being polite and giving him an easy out to just walk away as I took the lack of a kiss as lack of interest. My work place is a secure facility with confidentiality issues, so no cell phones are allowed on the production floor, therefore my phone went into my bag for the next three hours. When I got off work, just after 11 pm, I had 3 texts waiting - one to say he enjoyed meeting me and asking if I would join him for drinks later, one to ask if I would be comfortable meeting at his hotel bar for said drinks, and one asking if I was "pissed" at him.
I texted back to say I had just gotten off work and received his texts. I laughed and asked why should I be pissed, had he done something bad that I had missed?
He texted back to say he thought maybe I was upset that he would invite me to a hotel on a first date.
I pointed out that it would technically be a second date, and no, I wasn't pissed as we had already discussed potentially meeting up later and due to the time of night, a hotel bar made sense since most other places would be starting to close down.
After some banter we decided to meet for drinks. I quickly changed my clothes and headed off for his hotel, excited to see if we would continue to hit it off as we had earlier. He texted me while I was en route to ask if I really was coming, as if I was, he would have to get dressed as he was stark naked in bed.
This text was a departure from all of our previous texts and conversations. In a lighthearted but clear way, I stated that drink did not mean automatic sex pass, so he better get some clothes on. He graciously said "too bad" and that he would get ready right away.
By this time I was almost to his hotel and upon arriving, texted to ask where to meet, in the lobby or bar. He said he was just finishing getting ready, so if I wanted, I could just pop up to his room and we could go to the bar together. This seemed sensible since walking into a hotel bar alone at midnight definitely puts out the "woman on the prowl" message.
I jokingly asked if I could trust that he wouldn't be opening the door naked. He said what did I think he was, some kind of perverted prick? I said, I never said you were a prick.....lol.
I arrived to his room and he called to find out when the bar closed. We would have half an hour if we went down right away. He said he didn't really feel like drinking alcohol and said if I didn't as well that we could just relax, talk, get to know each other better. Apparently I am very naive, as I thought that was a nice suggestion and we might even end up sharing that kiss I had been expecting earlier. He told me later that he had every intention of fucking me when he had suggested we should stay in the room.
I curled up in the desk chair, carefully choosing not to sit on one of the two big beds in the room. He sat on the bed and we made small talk about what he had been watching on tv (politics). He turned off the tv and suggested I sit near him - of course on the bed - so that at least we could look into each other's eyes as we talked and maybe cuddle. Yes the red flags went up in my head at that, but I also am working on relaxing my outlook on anything to do with sex and relationships, so I agreed to sit with him on the bed to cuddle and talk.