One more week.
I have one more week until my due date, and now that I'm on my third pregnancy, I can say with certainty that due dates are bullshit. At best, they're educated guesses by obstetricians to calm the fraying nerves and flaring tempers of heavily pregnant patients and their anxious husbands bemoaning their sore backs and shrunken bladders and wondering when it will end.
Both my two daughters were born almost a week after what should have been their respective due dates, and I'm pretty sure this one will be a few days overdue as well. That doesn't really help my own increasingly stretched nerves, especially given that the big day might spell the beginning of the end of my marriage.
I'm lying in bed on a Saturday morning while my husband takes the girls to the park. I'd love to join them, but not when I'm so tired and aching. I manage to get in my daily steps going up and down the stairs, and I manage my Pilates and pelvic floor exercises just fine, but walking for hours with my aching back and swollen ankles is too much.
My husband was considerate enough to keep the curtains closed when he got up, so the thin rays of light creeping at the corners of the curtains aren't enough to disturb me. What disturbs me is still 'the event'. It's been nine months to the day since 'the event' and I'm still haunted by it, not to mention my shameless reaction to it.
I'm lying on my side with no clothes on. My basketball-sized belly makes even simple tasks like putting on pants and a t-shirt a lot harder, and as helpful as my husband is, there's something a little undignified about him helping me get dressed. So, I sleep in the nude. Not that he minds, since it gives him another excuse to touch me.
I start feeling the need to touch myself, and I run my hands across my pregnant belly, swollen with new life and ready to pop. My touching descends lower until I locate the wild little tuft of pubic hair that crowns my crotch.
It's awkward to masturbate while lying on my side, so I muster my strength and scoot backward until I'm in the middle of the bed and then I roll onto all fours. Supporting my gravid body is a struggle, so I bury my face in the pillow and reach under my belly and towards my crotch.
My fingers slide through my pubes -- which I really ought to shave at some point -- and locate my little button of pleasure. I gasp silently as I tease my clitoris, rubbing it in tight little circles while conjuring up a stimulating fantasy to indulge in.
I've indulged in all kinds of wild birth fantasies during my pregnancy. I even had an incredibly wacky dream about giving birth to my already fully grown rapist who proceeded to rape me on the spot once again. That one was so twisted it got me off for weeks.
But the closer my due date, the less appealing those birth fantasies have become. In fact, they just make me even more anxious about what awaits me. If the baby looks starkly different from my husband, he'll know that something is wrong.
Instead, I imagine my rapist again. He's kneeling down behind me, poised to mount me from behind like a hound mounting a bitch. That comparison conjures up scenes from the first season of Game of Thrones, when poor Daenerys is fucked doggystyle by her Dothraki husband -- the same way Dothraki fuck slaves, as one character informs her.
I spin those half-remembered scenes from the show into a fantasy of my rapist in the guise of Jason Momoa penetrating me from behind. His long, thick manhood thrusting in and out of my birth canal, his strong hands gripping my ass as his fingers dig into the flesh of my cheeks.
I'm moaning aloud, now. There's no one in the house to hear me shamelessly fantasizing about the man who violated me and whose baby is growing in my belly, threatening to turn my life upside down. All I can think about is that big cock pumping furiously into my pussy, stretching my walls out to the max while making me wet with desire for more.
I picture his hips slamming into my ass with force my husband could never muster, his ample sack brimming with virile seed poised to flood my love tunnel and fill me with another baby. I so badly want to be fucked like that again, even if I'm never not pregnant or nursing again.
Will he come back for more? I haven't forgotten how I caught him spying on me masturbating a few months ago -- it had to be him; who else could it be? Is he planning to rape me a second time after I give birth? Will he try to claim custody of my baby? I'm terrified of his return, and yet a deep and primal part of me yearns for it.
The pleasure growing between my thick thighs is growing in intensity, the pressure building to the point that I feel like I need to pee, but I keep going. I rub my clit harder and faster, picturing myself as a helpless slave girl in a luxury dungeon, totally at the mercy of my muscle-bound beast, just a warm body with a wet hole ready to receive his potent seed.
I can feel the baby moving inside my belly as I masturbate, responding to the stimulation of my clit and eager to get out into the world -- him and me both. I'm moaning and gasping into the sheets while straining my arm to reach around my huge stomach. I have to keep going, I have to push on towards that delicious orgasm I keep craving.
I grit my teeth and squeal through them as I climax. The pleasure blooms in my crotch, and the pressure releases in the form of a squirt of pussy juices which coat my tired fingers. I savor the pleasure and grin with satisfaction, treasuring the private moment while it lasts.
As the pleasure subsides, I remove my fingers from my clit and roll carefully back onto my side until I can see that stupid black ceiling fan which never works. The hormonal rollercoaster of pregnancy made me hate that useless waste of money, and my cuck husband for buying it, but with the impending end of my third pregnancy, I've made my peace with it.
My crotch still feels tight, making me realize I need to pee, so I maneuver my enormous body to the edge of the bed and set my swollen feet down on the carpeted floor. The simple act of standing up straight with my huge stomach feels like an achievement, and I pad carefully towards the bathroom -- the first of maybe fifteen or twenty trips I'll be making today.
I pause in front of the head-to-toe mirror, sighing at the sight of my ass and thighs and how they've grown along with my stomach. My breasts have regained some of their former size and firmness from my first two pregnancies, and it feels nice to have a full rack again, despite how tender my nipples feel -- not to mention the occasional leakage.
I'd much rather focus on my changing body than the impending birth. I certainly don't want to focus on the circumstances that resulted in this situation. As soon as I do that, I start to feel the familiar wave of guilt and fear arising from deceiving my husband and how he might react if he discovers the truth. How much worse would it be if my rapist returned?
I shake my head and enter the bathroom, sitting down carefully and waiting for the trickle to come. I look around the expansive bathroom with the big jacuzzi that set us back by two grand. It replaced the old bathtub, and my newly profligate husband also saw fit to install a brand-new showerhead. There's also a space at the foot of the tub where all the shampoo bottles stand.
Once I'm finished emptying my squished bladder, I stand up carefully and flush and wash my hands before returning slowly to the bedroom. Instead of going back to bed -- which I'd love to do -- I take a little walk around the top floor to get some exercise in.