I woke up that day, almost a month into my internship, a vivid dream about my parents stark and real in my mind. We were walking in the mountains, somewhere in the Andes, just the three of us, as it often was on the holidays... My father wanted me to climb with him up a narrow dangerous ravine to the top of a steep hill, saying the view would be stupendous from up there. My mother was pleading with him not to make me go, that I was too young and he shouldn't push me so hard. I wanted to please them both... but I couldn't... I just sat down and cried, feeling confused and helpless...
I lay in bed feeling slightly unsettled, remembering my parents and the continual tension about what I should be and how I should act. My mother believed that a woman's role was to support and obey her man, to be attractive, keep the home and raise a family. She always went on about how I needed to groom myself, to look pretty, to act sensual... I learned a lot from her about how to socialise and be the centre of attention. Deep down I loved it, despite not always admitting it to myself.
My father loved my mother and the role she played. But he was driven, having raised himself out of 'la villa' - the slums. I was his only child and he wanted me to make something of myself, to be the best and do what was necessary to get ahead in this difficult world. He always said that there were the 'haves' and the 'have nots' and I need to be part of the former. I'd done well in academics and gymnastics at school because it was what he wanted, and therefore so did I... Even though he had passed, I still wanted to please him, to be successful and to be important... to be one of the 'haves'...
Dias Associates was my chance... I wasn't going to blow it, even if it meant a few small compromises along the way. The little bit I'd seen about the power that the executives wielded was incredible... almost intoxicating... seductive. A few days earlier, after the scene in Mr Melo's office, I'd had a candid conversation with Ms Alves, asking what she thought about the way the 'coffee girls' were treated.
"Lucia, we each have our role. Those with responsibility and power like our executives and clients make decisions... because they've earned it. They make the rules. And deserve the rewards." She stared at me as she spoke, her voice like a schoolteacher, telling me how it was and that I needed to understand... or maybe she just wanted me to believe what she said, to accept the way of the world... "Others must find ways to be useful, socially or economically. Those girls have chosen to be entertainers... to help the business. They do what they're told... and they're happy to do it."
"They didn't look so happy to me." I countered. "Even though they were pretending to smile and enjoy themselves."
"Sometimes you have to do things that make you a little uncomfortable. It's part of being an adult... doing your job and being professional about it. They know that. And I want to believe that you know that too..." She left the words hanging, letting me consider what she was saying... what I'd seen in the previous few weeks. "If you want to excel, you've got to take risks. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable sometimes." She paused again and almost looked into my soul, as she asked, "Have you got what it takes, Lucia? To get what you want... what you deserve?"
Late at night in bed by myself, I'd replayed the scene from Mr Melo's office. Finding myself tingling between my legs, a hand slipping gently into my panties to scratch the itch. The thought of those men being able to casually order the women to... I imagined it, wondering what it would be like to be made to submit, to be one of them... the whole scene so deliciously depraved and evil... my imagination running wild at what could happen... my pussy gushing uncontrollably as I strummed myself to a pleasurable conclusion... but I couldn't tell her any of that... I could hardly admit it to myself...
"Yes, Ma'am. I REALLY am committed." I needed her to believe that I was a team player and that I had the fortitude to be one of them. "I want this."
"Good. There'll be a time when your commitment is tested. Remember you are still on probation... And your first review is imminent." She left it there, a dismissive wave for me to leave "Ciao."
As I left her office, I had bumped into Nev and told her about the slightly weird discussion... and the headmistress' advice. Neither of us knew quite what to make of it, although we reaffirmed our commitment to our careers and doing whatever it took to shine.
She told me that her probation meeting with the CEO had been arranged for a couple of days later... and that she was really nervous. She didn't like this overly compliant corporate culture, even though she too had tried not to rock the boat, despite witnessing some distasteful behaviour.
My review was the day after hers and I also tried not to think about it too much... Joao Dias, head of the company and the man that held my future in his hands... a pinnacle of respectability and power... I knew why she was so anxious... so was I...
Over that first month, Nev and I had become quite close. At my encouragement, we went out together a few times, two girls on the town. She was always demure and retiring, rejecting any male advances, while I loved the attention. I couldn't persuade her to wear anything other than jeans and a top, while I enjoyed the visual impact of tight skimpy black dresses showing my abundant curves. She always went home alone, while once or twice I hooked up with good-looking young guys. It was my release because I like sex... But I gravitated to the respectful, slightly shy types that were always so accommodating in bed...
And while she didn't approve, she always wanted to hear the saucy details. Which I gave her, enjoying her self-conscious fascination and shocked reproach at what I had done with those enjoyable men. Especially when I whispered how I liked them to go down on me and drive me to distraction, eating me out and making my pussy quiver with need, before riding them and grinding onto them at my own pace, lifting me higher and higher until I'd explode in orgasmic delight...
Over drinks one evening to celebrate our first pay checks, I'd shared the strange experience I'd had in Mr Melo's office. She'd looked at me in dismay, stunned at my explanation and at Nic's response. She said she was just so glad she had not been in a meeting like that and was hoping she wouldn't ever have to be. I didn't reveal the ambivalent feelings I'd had...
Our conversation shifted to Val, who had left the intern programme to become a secretary. I'd found out the previous morning when I met her at the coffee machine, making coffee for her new boss, Nic. I was puzzled about how he deserved a secretary, but that didn't stop me from condescendingly telling her that "I would never take such a position". I was here to become a professional and nothing would stop my ambition. She didn't bat an eyelid at my haughtiness, just smiled and said inscrutably "We'll see." Nev and I agreed that she was a flirt and a cow, and that we were better off without her in the programme. It provided more opportunity for us to get what we wanted.
I was thinking about those conversations as I arrived at the office a few days later. I'd shaken off my slight funk, dressing confidently in a short-pleated skirt, red tartan that swished around mid-thigh... just below the elasticised lacy tops of my sheer hold up black stockings which accentuated my slim legs, tucked into red ankle boots. A white blouse, top button undone, topped off the outfit, with a red and black neckerchief tied to the side. My feelings of supreme self-assurance were sensualised by the lacy lingerie I'd put on that day, black lacy panties riding high between my ass cheeks and a matching half cup bra only just hiding my nipples and barely noticeable through the opaque material of my blouse. All in all, I was dressed to kill, professional but alluring... following the headmistresses' advice... and enabled by my first pay-check.
Later that afternoon, I was summonsed to Mr Melo's office. He was there in the same chair, but now with a Russian client. They literally devoured me as I walked in, their eyes ravishing me from coiffed head to high heel, making me feel more like an object that at any time in my life.
"Ahhh... Vladimir, this is Lucia..." Mr Melo presented me as if I were an offering, while keeping his usual cordial tone. "She's here to...
