Moon Witch

"Miss Selene," I say in as low of a voice as possible. Away from the humiliating position I last saw her in, I feel my heart jump just a little seeing in person for the first time in days.

She's on what's basically a medium weight blanket over the hard stone floor and she's fallen asleep curled up on her side, mouth open. She looks like she hasn't washed after the Discipline, and her completely frazzled appearance just brings back the searing mix of guilt and arousal I had when I saw her in the square.

I hardly have the time to admonish myself for letting my attraction to her get to me right at this moment, because she blearily opens her eyes and sees me standing in front of her.

"General Erik?" I can't quite decipher the expression on her face as she sits up, wincing at the movement. I had been hoping for something just a little bit more... Positive. The lack of warmth in her countenance feels like a stark contrast to my own feelings, and I'm pretty sure it's not just because she's been through hell and back today. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you. I'm making good on my vow."

Selene bites her lip. "You're helping me leave Gra'marah?"

"Yes. There's not... I've realized there's not a lot left for me here."

She looks away. "Those things were keeping you from helping someone in need, I understand."

"Not like that." I run a hand through my hair. As soon as she said that I realize how my words must sound. "I just meant I've realized some things and maybe- I think that Gra'marah's not a good place for me to be either."

"Oh?"

The tension between us is palpable. I certainly didn't expect to be greeted with such iciness from Selene.

"What's the matter, Miss Selene?"

Her face reddens slightly, and I can tell by her controlled and clipped tone that she's trying to keep her emotions out of her voice. "The matter, general, is that since we've last seen each other I've been raped countless times and I've been humiliated - used - by the disgusting people of this country!" Emotion has thickened her voice by the end of the sentence and a couple tears fall down her cheeks.

"I thought you'd just been working with Hes," I offer lamely.

"Azrath took me right after you left." Selene turns away from me again, her dark hair hiding her face. "I became... Very well acquainted with his women. And I was introduced to some of his less tasteful ideas of fun."

My gut wrenches. I know full well what some of those things must have been. We basically had been at two opposite ends of the spectrum while I was at Kefo's. She'd been entertainment for Azrath just as I'd been entertained, even if somewhat forcibly, by Kefo's harem.

But I'm also uncomfortable at the thought that it's Selene that was subject to his rough handling. Sex wasn't an entirely unfamiliar thing to witness blatantly on our palace grounds. Azrath, nobles, even some of my own men will take slaves without regard for the privacy of their act. Memories of seeing women in twisted positions, out in the open being taken by our men flit through my memory. Imagining that it is Selene instead of these faceless creatures with breasts and long legs makes me feel sick.

"I'm sorry. I lacked the foresight to protect you properly."

She angrily swipes at her tears. "I hate it here. Just please help me get back home."

"I promise you we'll get you safely back to Sorrea." It feels like something has fallen into place within me. Although it's been a while since I've seen her, I know my aunt will welcome me back with open arms. I can take Selene back to her home and I can make a new life for myself too.

"I don't trust your promises." She doesn't look at me when she emotionlessly says her words. I nod. She's not looking for a response, and I don't have a good one to give her either. "Have you told Hes and Awvag yet?"

Now it's my turn to avoid eye contact. "They're not coming."

"I don't think it's a good idea to leave them here," says Selene.

"No, it's not," I agree. "But there's nothing I can do for them. I said my goodbyes. Hes said he's at peace with his life ending. They've started the procedures already, too." I can't let much more leave my mouth.

"Procedures, what are you talking about?" Selene's eyes have lost the coldness.

"For tomorrow," I say, slightly frustrated. What other procedures could it be?

"I don't understand."

"Their execution." I grind the words out. Her horrified expression tells me she didn't know.

"No... No. That can't be happening. You said you're going to help me, help them too!"

"Don't you think I would if I could? I'm not letting them die because I don't care!" Azrath knew that if anything would make me defy him, having Hes and Awvag killed would be it.

I'd gone to where they keep prisoners to be executed and found that the soldiers had been warned to supervise my last visit. We spoke in Sorrean lest anyone understand our words.

They'd both already been given a dose of slow acting poison. Hes grasped my hands in his with a heartbreaking smile.

"I'm so glad that you were able to make it, Eryx." His coughs were wet. When he spoke, his teeth were lightly pink. My stomach turned."

Hes told me that they'd been working with Abelo to sneak Selene back into Sorrea, but they were caught just as they were almost passing through the northern border.They still don't know how Azrath came to find out that Selene was under Hes's care, but the three of them were very quickly taken back to the palace grounds and prepared for the Discipline.

"You know I've never liked lembi, and they probably gave us as much as they could without killing us." Hes looked old and worn, small coughs peppered into his speech. "I hardly remember what happened during the Discipline, but maybe that's a good thing. It felt like I was an animal."

I didn't reveal that I'd witnessed what did happen, and Hes didn't mention it.

"Listen, Eryx. Awvag and I are content. I was already dying, and well... We get to die as two old men together. Azrath may have violated us, but we have the dignity of dying together. If anything, I feel for Selene. Her being sentenced to serve Azrath, I'm afraid for her sanity if she's made to stay here for much longer. She has already suffered much."

I didn't realize at the time that Hes was talking about more than just her being held hostage in Gra'marah.

"I need to get her out," I said. "I gave her a vow when we first arrived here. I come back from Kefo's to find this mess of a situation. I asked Azrath to leave things be but... I can't help but feel like he has some sort of personal stake in this. I think that he feels that this has been a slight to him. And he wants me to know that he can do as he wishes."

At my words, Hes looked sad. "It may be years in the making, but I'm glad you're seeing things as they are. I've never kept my mouth completely shut but I've kept from reminding you of who King Azrath is because of your friendship with him. With my dying breath I need you to remember that you are not Azrath and you do not have to follow his morals or ambitions. I hope you will begin living for yourself, whatever that means."

"I'm sorry General Eryx, but it's almost time," a timid voice came from behind me. The soldier's words incited panic within me.

"I need more time," I responded in Gra'marian, but my voice was raspy.

Hes nodded at me in response to my emotion, his warm hands squeezing mine. "I've always been so proud of you, you know? I've always thought you were a little bit too pure for Gra'marah. You remember how you thought this country was a little odd when you came back from living in Sorrea? I felt that way too. I feel it still. I never let go of it.

"I saw that as time passed you stopped feeling it. But recently I feel that you are changing. Don't be afraid to question things and to do what you must. I may not be here in person but Awvag and I will be watching over you from the heavens."

I wanted to stay for much longer but Hes began coughing in earnest. He tried to hide it from me but there were splatters of red on his sleeve when he drew it away from his mouth. I felt sick to my stomach.

"General Eryx," the boy once again spoke with a timid voice.

"I know!" I looked back at where the soldiers stood and snapped, knowing that my grief was fully evident on my face. It shut them up as they resumed staring past us with slightly scared expressions.

Hes embraced me as well as he could through the bars. Even Awvag, who I've always seen as quite aloof, held me tightly in a long embrace. Every time they coughed their wet gurgling coughs, it turned my stomach. We all continued to speak, not quite having the strength to say goodbye with finality. It isn't until one of the soldiers speaks up for a third time that I can will myself to move at all away from the bars.

With an intensity shining in his eyes, Awvag grabbed my wrist. "As her about the necklace," he said - I know, stated as vaguely as possible since his Gra'marian could be understood by the soldiers in the room.

I could only nod, not able to let any words out. Every step that I took away from Hes and Awvag felt like an all consuming pain in my chest. I hadn't fully been able to come to the realization that this would be the last time I would ever see them in the flesh, and the paradox of grief and life and death threatened to overwhelm me.

All that I could do was walk away. I avoided eye contact with the soldiers, feeling their pity laden gazes in my direction.

It was much like the look that Selene is offering me right now. Her soft eyes draw me out of my memory enough for me to sigh. "They were given a poison. Apart from the public execution it means that their death sentence has already been finalized. So yes, I said my goodbyes."

Selene looks down. Her words are quiet. "Hes felt exactly like my father did. His warmth and his care for me in a place where I've only been violated. He was such a good man. Awvag, too. If I feel this much sadness at what is happening, I can only imagine how much worse it is for you."

My frustration melts away. "I think it's just time for the both of us to get out of here, no?"

She tries for a little smile, but it's not very successful given the exhaustion on her face and how we both feel right now. "How do you suppose we do that, General Erik?"

---

"Where is everyone?" I whisper. The general is half supporting me, half carrying me as we make our way out from the enclosure I was in.

He shrugs and I wince as it jostles me a bit. "Security wasn't as tight as it should have been."

I let out a squeak when I see a man slumped in the corner. There's blood soaked through his robe and he's obviously dead.

"I gave them the option of removing themselves from the situation or I would remove them. Most of them chose to go, but this guy... Well, there's a reason why most of them ran. Anyone in our military knows they don't want to be caught in close range to me."

Sometimes I forget that he's probably killed a lot of people in his life. The fleeting memory of him snapping Reno's neck comes to mind, and now being faced with the sight of a dead body makes me feel bad. I suddenly really don't want to be so close to him, and if it weren't for every movement making my body flare up in pain, I would let go of his arm.

"Won't they tell Azrath that you came for me?"

"Probably." He seems unbothered by the idea.

"He came to see me before you did and... General, he seems positively unhinged. He said he wants to break me." I leave out all the other more explicit comments he made about our relationship.

Did I imagine the general's jaw clenching?

"He seems to have taken a liking to you for sure. In all honesty, Miss Selene, we'll have to figure out what we need to do to keep you safe once we return to Sorrea. Your home is on the safer side given how it's remote and no one but I know where it is, but I'm not entirely sure the lengths Azrath will go to seek you out."

His words don't bother me nearly as much as they should have. I think deep down, I already knew that remaining safe after returning home would be a challenge. I nod, deciding to push it off. First, our priorities are to get out at all.

And so I ask the general, who's fallen quiet, what the plan is. I don't quite recognize where we are, though I can tell we're somewhere near the palace. He tells me that he has a horse and supplies at the outskirts of the palace grounds that should be enough for us on our travels. "We'll get you something to eat and fresh clothes when we arrive there."

It's where we arrived on the first day. I recognize the horse stalls, which we walk past. Eryx walks and I hobble towards a small building that is dimly lit by lanterns inside. I see from the doorway that it's filled with bunks and storage.

"For our soldiers," he says, and we stop when we hear the obvious sounds of some people... Coupling in the room.

It's like everyone in this country is always fucking, I think glumly.

General Erik says something into the void that I can't understand because it's Gra'marian. The voices and sounds go silent, then some rustling and panicked speech. The general sighs, asks a question. A male voice says the Gra'marian word for no.

I'm not given a chance to feel proud of my elementary language skills, though, because the general starts to pull me into the room. "Damn idiots acting like newlyweds," he grumbles in Sorrean for my sake. He calls out something to the two, I assume telling them that we're coming in.

We round a corner and I meet eyes with a couple soldiers that are half dressed. "Anya and Lussen," says Erik, indicating them in turn. I say hello in Gra'marian, hoping that it comes out of my mouth right.

Anya is tall, though nowhere near as tall as Erik, with an athletic figure. I can see the musculature glinting on her medium skin from the soft lantern light. Though her face isn't what I'd call particularly graceful or beautiful, she has the strong features that make me feel like she's a warrior. Lussen is darker than she is, with hair that's mostly been shorn off. He's slightly shorter and thinner, like he'd be quick and light on his feet. He hasn't gotten a shirt on in the time we took to get here, and is only wearing underwear that's a reminder of what the two were just doing.

I feel useless in the conversation as the three of them talk in Gra'marian. Anya and Lussen keep sneaking glances at me throughout the conversation while I swing my feet and try not to feel as dumb as I do. Lussen's expression is much more curious while Anya seems to be analytical. I feel nervous that she'll find something about me she finds untrustworthy.

As they speak I can tell when Erik tells them that he's leaving because Anya stands up with a serious expression and - the only way I can describe it is that she lectures him. Lussen has a similar look of disbelief on his face, but he places a hand on her and says something that shuts her up. Erik sighs and speaks some more.

The two soldiers ask a lot of questions and Erik answers them. I've all but lost interest in trying to pick out what Gra'marian words I can recognize when the general turns to me and says, "It's time for us to go now."

"We need to go by Hes's home," says the general. "There will be some helpful things there. Mostly money. It's on the way, anyways."

And so for the first time since I arrived in Gra'marah, I'm perched atop the horse with the general's arms surrounding me to grip onto the horse. As cold towards the man I'd felt when I first saw him outside my prison earlier, something about his warmth encircling me made my heart feel warm too. I tried to shake off the feelings though and remind myself that I needed to keep him at arm's length.

As we set off he tells me that the couple agreed to take care of burying Hes's and Awvag's bodies. I hear some emotion in the general's voice when he says they've also promised to help if at any point in the future he needs help. But after he fills me in on their conversation, we mostly ride in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

I'm sure he's thinking about Hes and Awvag, and the stoic silence that comes from behind me only feels like a confirmation of his brooding energy. I remember when papa died and the state that I was in. Mother had to coax me to start eating again and there were many days where I stayed in bed, unable to face the world. I decide the kindest thing to do is to distract him, and that we're going to Hes's home reminds me of some of my questions I had when I was there before.

"By the way, general, I was wondering if there's something you could help me with. If you've ever heard of this Gra'marian word?"

"Yes?"

"Areana noressa." I try to say it with the Gra'marian inflections.

"Where did you hear that?" He seems surprised. "If I'm thinking correctly, it's an old children's lullaby. I guess if you translate it to Sorrean it would be... Desert Rose?"

"What is it about?" I prod him.

"The song's about a desert rose, growing in dry and sun-baked earth. It's a story about blooming even under the worst circumstances, a really cheesy story."

I can't help but feel a little disappointed. It doesn't seem right, what he's describing it as. I press further. "It couldn't be anything else? Is there a real desert rose somewhere?"

"Other than the actual roses the song is based on, I can't think of much. I mean, there is a woman goes by the name 'The Desert Rose.' Areana Noressa. I know how you feel about magic, but it's said she's somewhat of a demon, or at least something evil. She quickly made a name for herself as a lethal and cruel beauty, striking deals with mortals and taking advantage of them."

"She's real?"

"Unfortunately. Why are you asking about areana noressa suddenly?"

The more I think on it, the more I get the feeling of certainty I did when I picked the book off the shelf in the first place. "General, I think we have to go visit her. I feel it."

"We really should be heading to Sorrea right now already. This would be a completely random detour. And, in all honesty, I don't know if we really want to go visit her. I've heard some stories and she's not the nicest to her visitors."

The confidence I feel grows, a little overwhelmingly. "But I feel it. I need to see her."

He sighs in a way that lets me know he's conceding to my will.

It's not long before we reach Hes's, and I feel a twinge of sadness knowing that the home's owners will never set foot here again. It feels so cold inside without Hes and Awvag's energy to make the home feel like home. I've glad to slide off the horse. My whole body feels sore and shaky and I need a break with own my two feet on the ground.

The general releases me after helping me slide down the horse and my knees nearly buckle. Wordlessly, he places my arms around his neck and carries me into the house, leaving my face burning. I think that I should have hated that, but I... Didn't. The contact felt nice and it tears me up inside.

"I'll be back," says the general. He looks almost like he wants to say something else to me, but before I can react he's gone to another part of the house.

I look at all the knick knacks that are around the living area and once again feel sad that no one will be living here to enjoy all of the things that Hes gathered on his travels. I notice something that looks familiar glinting at me from a table. I shakily stand to look at it and see that it's the necklace that Awvag made me. And tucked under it is the book.

I frown. There's a note on top of the two items written in Gra'marian. I set the note down on the table, and then quickly make to put the necklace back on. I loosen the top of my robe and then tuck the sharp v-shaped front down, smoothing it underneath my breast binding and then moving to straighten everything back up.