Missed Opportunity

I was in my early 20s, stationed at one of our Air Force bases in Europe. This was back in the 80s, where the dorm rooms at TJ had 2 beds and shared a bath with another room, called a 2+2. I shared a room with another airman. We had stacked our beds into bunk beds to give us more floor space, and I had the top bunk. I got along with my roommate pretty well; we occasionally partied together, but not too often. We were in different units and everyone tended to hang with the guys in our own units.

Pretty much everyone went out and got a good buzz going every night. I know I would sometimes drink until I stumbled back to our room and passed out. I was always horny and was having a hard time getting laid. I beat off pretty much anytime I had the room to myself, and even remember trying to see if I was flexible enough to suck my own cock a few times. (I could just barely lick the tip - not very satisfying). I had no conscious thoughts of bi or gay sex, but I do remember catching glimpses of my room mates cock... now I wonder if those were deliberate.

One night, after maybe ten or twelve months, things changed. I had gotten into a rhythm, every night I would go party at the NCO club, stumble back to the dorm, and pass out as soon as I hit the rack. This night, I was asleep in my bed, I had gotten a bit drunk, but not pass-out drunk when the door opened and my roommate came in. I was asleep enough that I knew he came in, but not really awake.

I guess I heard him moving around for a bit, and I was back asleep when I kind of woke. I felt my cock being stroked through my shorts. It felt good, and I guess I really didn't realize who or what was going on, I was in a kind of dream state. I felt the hand go into my shorts and was now stoking my hard cock. God, it felt so good having someone else's hand on my cock for a change. After a bit of drifting off and waking to the stroking, I felt my shorts being pushed down and my entire cock popped free. I felt someone alongside me, at my waist and waited to see what was going to happen next... I was enjoying this dream so far. I felt a warm breath on my cock and stomach, and then lips. Oh shit it felt so good. I had only had a few blowjobs so far and none to completion. He held my cock in his mouth and just sucked and licked the tip. Then I felt his lips slide down my cock... Man I was awake now. I wanted to push his head down farther, but he kept moving his head up and down on my cock, and I could barely continue lying there as if I was still asleep.

Suddenly, I felt him climbing up into my bunk with me... I guess I freaked out, I kind of jumped up and pushed him off me and said "What the fuck are you doing? Get off me!" I was young, and naive, or maybe just fucking stupid. The next day I told my First Sergeant that I wanted a new roommate. He said he would work it, and my roommate was moved to another dorm room on another floor, and I never saw him alone again.

I regret that I let it happen that way. If he hadn't tried to climb in bed that night, if he took it slower, if I hadn't freaked out, if I hadn't asked that he be moved, if, if, if... This was even before Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT) and if someone was reported as gay they could be thrown out of the military, and that was in the back of my mind too.

Looking back, I could have been getting regular blowjobs all the time, and learned to give them instead of waiting another 8 or 10 years. Maybe I would have fucked him and gotten fucked, who knows, but I regret that I missed the opportunity to explore my bi side then and what could have been a very fun relationship. Technically, I was "raped" until I woke and accepted his actions, but it never felt that way.

It's been almost 30 years, and I have been sucked by many guys and have sucked many cocks. I have fucked a few guys and even been fucked a few times too. If I ever run into my old roommate again, I hope I get the chance to apologize by dropping to my knees and sucking him off like I wish I had all those years ago.