Ashley and Jake were working on a school assignment. Ashley was tasked with building a model of a government building, and she picked the Jefferson Memorial because she saw it in a book. While Jake struggled to fabricate the dome, Ashley asked, "Jacob, did you ever make love?"
"Uhm, well, Ashley, that's a pretty personal question. That is private."
"Did you ever make a baby?"
"No, Ashley, only married people make babies, and I have never been married."
"If you marry my mom, will you make love?"
"Uhhh, ask me something else, please."
"Did my mom and dad make love when they were married?"
Merrill was out, shopping. Jake felt a constriction in his throat. "Well, Ashley, that's something you have to ask your mother. I wasn't there. But that is a private thing, and it's not polite to ask about it."
"Why not?"
"Just because. I don't know! Ask your mother!"
Ashley let that go, but every time the term "making love" came up, Ashley peppered Merrill and Jake with awkward questions. Merrill despaired, "My God, Jacob, you cannot turn on the TV without hearing somebody talk about sex. I had no idea it was this prevalent, even in family shows."
"Maybe you should tell her the facts of life, Merrill. She's getting pretty close to having it figured out, anyway."
Merrill pondered, "I've always used the proper words and names. They say it's never too early. I guess I'll bite the bullet, and do it. But she's asking about contraception! How do I explain that?"
Merrill searched the internet for advice on how to tell kids about the birds and the bees. She found something better than advice. There were lots of videos explaining the facts for various age groups. Merrill thought that one for 10 to 11-year-olds would be best for Ashley. She and Ashley watched it together. When it was over, Merrill asked, "Do you have any questions, Ashley?"
"How come Mrs. Armstrong won't have a baby?" Mrs. Armstrong was the mother of Ashley's friend, Heather. Heather had told Ashley that she had overheard her parents talking about making love.
"Well, you can take a pill that prevents you from having a baby."
"Then, why were they making love?"
"Married people make love to show each other they love each other. It's supposed to be only for married people, and it is very private. You shouldn't talk about it to anyone, but me."
"Did you and my dad make love?"
"Yes, dear. We made love so we could have you, and it was the best thing that ever happened to us."
"If you and Jacob get married, will you make love?"
"Well, yes. All married people make love, but it's very private, and they don't have babies unless they want to."
Later, Merrill told Jake about her talk with Ashley, and warned him, "If she asks you about the facts of life, tell her to ask me, and me alone."
"Gladly."
***********************************
When Jake listed his "Free Pass Five" for Merrill, he had originally included the eighteen-year-old girl living across the street from him. Merrill disqualified her for not being a celebrity. The girl's name was Darla. Darla was tall, taller than Merrill. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, a stunning figure of the sort only teenagers possess, and a pretty face. Darla was smoking hot, and a senior in high school. Darla dated a lot, but never with one guy, steadily. Recently, Darla had taken to flirting outrageously with Jake, whenever she could contrive an opportunity.
Jake told Merrill, "Honey, I am worried about Darla, the girl that lives across..."
Merrill was reading, and she did not take her eyes off the page, "Yes, I know very well who Darla is, Jacob."
He continued, "Yes, well, she is coming on to me, stronger than ever. She finds excuses to come over, and she wears revealing clothes."
"All teenage girls wear revealing clothes, Jacob. Has she touched you?"
Jake answered, "No, not yet. Merrill, she always bends over in front of me, so I can see down her blouse. And, she's always licking her lips in front of me."
Merrill was skeptical, "I've never noticed anything."
"That's because she won't do it, if you're around, silly. I'm telling you, she's going to get me in trouble."
Merrill said, "If she comes on to you, without any action on your part, you have my permission to nail her, Jacob. She's a hot teen. Go for it." Merrill was clearly disinterested, and unworried. She had never taken her eyes off her book. Jake felt emasculated by Merrill. She seemed to dismiss his masculinity and attractiveness. There was a tiny voice in his head that said,
"We'll show her."