Mellow Yellow

Ch. 26: The Nanny from Hell gets a Good Licking

Mrs. Nguyen put on her worn-out nightgown and disappeared downstairs to her guestroom. Her nightie was so thin that I could make out the crack of her ass shifting from side to side as she wiggled off down the hall. There I was, left with a messy desk, a sticky dick and a pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen. I tidied up my office and got rid of all the paper littered with shot spots from my desk. As I was on my way to tackle the kitchen, Mrs. Nguyen popped back up from the basement, dressed in a short leather skirt and low-cut blouse. You can take a hooker out of Saigon but she’s still a hooker.

“I go see friend with

bi-da

parlour. She have money me. Then I no bother you and Chinese lady you. One this thing I say. Ông Paul give Vietnamese lady me good fuck. You best banana in Canada or Vietnam.”

With that, Mrs. Nguyen produced a wet kiss that smeared her garish red lipstick on my cheek. Then she let herself out. I think she said something in her fractured English that approximated “ciao, baby” as she closed the door.

With Mrs. Nguyen out of the way, I surveyed the kitchen. Fortunata, our new nanny, ordered me to wash the breakfast dishes before she got back with the kids. Well, Melinda hired this ugly bitch, not me. Maybe beauty is only skin deep but Fortunata was ugly through and through. OK, badmouthing the new nanny doesn’t get the dishes done. Mrs. Nguyen’s breakfast just added to the huge pile. I was torn between my duty to take care of the mess in the kitchen and my duty to hide evidence that I’d just fooled around with Mrs. Nguyen.

The sound of water running downstairs resolved my dilemma. I couldn’t rinse dishes while Vanessa, our other houseguest, was having a bath, could I? Besides, dirty dishes aren’t “evidence” of anything much in particular. Lipstick and a sticky dipstick certainly is evidence leading to divorce. I decided that that the dishes could wait but a nice shower was a priority. I’d rather face Fortunata’s wrath than Melinda packing up and leaving with the kids in tow.

I got out of the shower and fumbled for a towel to dry myself. As the steam in the bathroom cleared and the soap in my eyes stopped stinging, I became aware that there was a Filipina squatting on the toilet lid. My other houseguest, Vanessa Reyes a.k.a. the Nanny from Hell, was awake. Vanessa was clad in just an XL T-shirt and she had it pulled up over her knees, hiding her boobs in the space between her knees. By confronting me in the shower, did Vanessa have something else on her mind than brunch? Unfortunately, she did.

“Well, well. If it isn’t my old employer caught naked with just his old nanny in the house. Now isn’t this a compromising situation? Pay careful attention, Paul, because Vanessa’s in control now. You just stand where you are and listen to me or else I’ll claim rape. I’ll tell everyone you tried to pick up where you left off three years ago when you were screwing me behind Melinda’s back. I trust you understand the scandal that would result in.”

Vanessa had me where she wanted me, no doubt about that. I could already see the tone of the headlines in those newspapers at the supermarket checkout: “Middle-aged White Canadian Male Forces Himself on Young Single Mother from Philippines. Again!” Vanessa half-smiled at gaining the upper hand and continued her monologue.

“I’m not the same submissive little Vanessa you thought I was when I was your nanny. No more shy, simpering little Filipina appearing to live only to please her exploitive masters. Your country’s Nanny Program makes us nannies nothing more than indentured labourers and sexual playthings for you Canadian white men. But I got even with you. While you were away on business and probably taking advantage of some other poor Filipina, I was getting it on with Melinda. Yes, you fucked me behind your wife’s back but I fucked your wife behind your back. Your Melinda is AC/DC, I’m a dyke and you’re just a despicable adulterous nannyfucking male.”

I had always suspected that something went on between Melinda and Vanessa. Now it was coming out of Vanessa’s mouth in the way she knew it would hurt me the most. Vanessa had taken advantage of Melinda and had a lesbian encounter with her. I don’t think I was as shocked as I might have been. I must have admired Melinda’s good taste in lovers. They definitely made dykes differently in the Philippines. Your average white lesbian looks like a truck driver in drag. Vanessa was a feminine and graceful Filipina. She still retained that tight, delicious brown body that I poked for a full six months when Melinda was pregnant. I could even call her beautiful, if only she would lighten up and smile a bit.

Yet, Vanessa had changed more than her “lifestyle” in two years. Something had changed that I found slightly menacing. I wasn’t uncomfortable with Vanessa’s ball-busting attitude. She reminded me of a kinder and gentler Fortunata. No, there was something that had changed about her soft Malay features and it made her look hard. It went beyond the scowl that marred Vanessa’s sensuous lips. Then, it dawned on me that Vanessa had stopped plucking her eyebrows. Her eyebrows had grown back and now were knitted in a simian line, like a

yakuza

in a crummy Japanese gangster flick. No, it was more like the ape with a zipper in King Kong Meets Godzilla. I was positive now that I was right about this vindictive woman. Vanessa was the Nanny from Hell. There was nothing I could do but stand there and take it.

“Now I’m a Canadian landed immigrant and I want some respect. It’s not going to be anymore ‘I’ll change the little bastard’s diaper right away, Mr. Miskeivitch’ or ‘Yes, you can fuck me. It’s part of my job description, Mr. Miskeivitch.’ I have rights now in this country. You won’t take advantage of me anymore. You won’t exploit me. Do you understand that?”

Vanessa must have spent too much time in Mindinao with the MPLA, absorbing all this exploitation rhetoric. This one-sided conversation was taking quite a nasty turn in my mind. I tried to think of some way to put a better spin on Vanessa’s Canadian employment record, but she was right. “Lesbian/dyke and knocked up by previous employer” wouldn’t look good on any former nanny’s resumé. Vanessa continued her monologue.

“You may have made me pregnant and sent me back to the Philippines, thinking that you were well rid of me. But you’re not. I’m in your house again. I’m going to even up the score by fucking your wife and you won’t be able to stop me. Now, dry yourself off. You look silly, dripping wet like that.”

I started drying off my private parts, only to discover that I was stiff and hard. Vanessa’s self-satisfied smirk betrayed a pride in her own beauty. Vanessa knew she still had it what it takes to turn on either man or woman equally. She wouldn’t have any trouble at all seducing Melinda again.

She reached for my dick and drew me towards her. She started to caress my dick and then ran her nostrils up and down the shaft of my dick, the same way she did when she was my nanny and I was her nannyfucking boss. Vanessa savoured my dick the way I imagine that Fidel Castro savours a fine Havana cigar prior to putting it to his lips. No, that wasn’t quite the way she sniffed my dick. Vanessa admired the smell of my dick the way a wine snob runs the cork under his nose before downing the plonk. As with any obsessive-compulsive personality, Vanessa had to provide a running commentary on what she was doing with my dick.

“Your silly male ego thought I was admiring your manliness when I did this, but I hated you fucking me. You didn’t know that I was really admiring the smell of Melinda’s pussy on your dick. You thought I really desired you but the reality is that I desired the sweet smell and taste of Vietnamese cunt on your dick. After you fucked me, then I tasted myself on you. I knew right away that I wanted to serve up my tasty little pussy to Melinda. MMMMMMM! I can smell Melinda’s pussy here but it’s very faint. Have you been neglecting your wife? Shame on you, Paul. No, that’s not the problem. Melinda’s pussy’s obscured by another woman’s mark on your dick. Hmmmm. What is it that I smell? I’m quite intrigued by this other odour. It’s strong, almost pungent, yet it’s distinctly Vietnamese pussy. This dick has been exploring another Vietnamese woman. Paul, you bastard! You fucked that old Vietnamese lady as soon as my darling Melinda left for work.”

The way Vanessa was reading all the secrets on my sexual rap sheet was really annoying. I felt like a kid caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. Apparently, there was no way to make Vanessa shut up. She stood up, pulling my beard towards her face. She buried her flat nose in the curly, damp hairs of my beard.

“That old woman’s pussy is on your beard but I can’t smell Melinda’s mark anywhere. You ate the old lady’s pussy but not your wife’s? Not that I blame the old lady for wanting you to eat her pussy. You eat pussy like a woman Paul. For a guy, you’re really quite good at it; I’ll give you credit for that. I suppose that, if the old lady wanted good dick and tongue in one package, you can’t blame her for choosing you. Now, don’t you worry a bit. I can see you’re nervous but I won’t let out this little secret as long as you behave yourself. But tell me this; why would you prefer an old woman’s pussy to my young, tasty Melinda?”

Geez, I had to justify myself to a dyke. “It’s like this. Melinda’s a nurse and, well, you’re one too so you know how they can be. She hasn’t let me eat her pussy since she went to this seminar. They taught her that oral sex spreads all kinds of diseases. I haven’t had a muff dive for two years until this morning when Mrs. Nguyen ….. well, you know how it is, Vanessa.”

Vanessa turned uncharacteristically quiet and pensive. What did I say that shut her up? Finally, she looked me straight in the eye. She appeared softer, less bitchy and confrontational. There was something pleading and almost desperate as she poured out what was really on her mind.

“Can I level with you, Paul. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I haven’t had a woman for months. Just like you, I’m horny and I’m starved for oral. Aren’t we a real pair? Geez, I never thought I’d be sympathetic to a man. But you’ve got the next best thing to a woman’s tongue and you’re about to help me out.”

Vanessa got off the toilet lid and sat on the vanity. She hiked up her T-shirt, pulling it over her head and tossed it off towards the bathroom door. No panties, no bra, just bare-arsed naked Filipina, brown, beautiful and shaped just right. Vanessa parted her legs, exposing her almost hairless clam. As she reached down to her crotch, I thought Vanessa was going to do herself in front of me just for my benefit. Instead, she parted her clam with two fingers, pointing her long fingernails towards the slot with her free hand. Her inner lips were brownish-pink and glistening wet.

“See, Paul. I’ve made it easy for you. Eat my pussy. It’s young and delicious, or so my lady friends tell me. Remember what I said about good behaviour? Now, get that tongue where I need it.”

I got to work, propelled by many happy memories of licking that cunt. Maybe Vanessa was an Asian dyke and a mouthy one at that. Definitely, she’d grown a lot bitchier in three years but her pussy hadn’t changed. In fact, it was delicious, as Vanessa had promised. Vanessa’s taste was a subtle combination of pastisse, prake and a slight touch of durian fruit. I worked my tongue slowly up her slot edging closer to the clit on each stroke. Normally, this would send any woman into ever deepening orgasms but Vanessa somehow could stifle it. She kept saying:

“No, stay below the clit until I say so. No, not yet Paul. I’ll tell you when to lick the clit. No, no, go back down and come up a little lower. That’s it, now give me a few more like that.”

I kept up the light, short licks until, finally, I got the order: “Now, Paul. Bring your tongue slowly up and over my clit.”

I slowly brought my tongue up and over Vanessa’s blood-engorged clit. She gave a few mild sighs and said: “That’s enough, Paul. Stop eating my pussy and let me get off the sink.”

Vanessa was lithe and graceful as she slipped off the sink and landed lightly on her feet. She knelt down on all fours on the bathroom mat and put her ass up in the air. The way her tits hung without dangling assured me that were Asian-woman firm still.

“Now, Paul, you’re going to give me a rimming. Let’s see if you’re as good at ass as you are at pussy. Don’t worry, I’ve just had a shower so I’m clean there too.”

Just like a nurse to be worried about sanitary matters. As for me, I was stunned by Vanessa’s request. Where does a Filipina pick up such language? Not in strait-laced Pinoy Catholic society. And exactly what is a rimming? Vaguely, I remembered that, in one of the “South Park” movies, (you know, the one where the U.S. invades Canada) there was a sketchy description of a rimming by one of the South Park parents offended by Terrence and Philip. Armed with scanty knowledge that I gained from a South Park cartoon, I plunged into my first rim job, on an Asian dyke, no less. I was a total amateur and Vanessa would be comparing me to the best of the Philippines’ gay community. I decided that I would just do whatever came naturally. I’d do to Vanessa whatever I thought might feel good on me. After all, I had an ass just like Vanessa’s.

I parted Vanessa’s brown cheeks and peered into her ass. She didn’t have a hair anywhere on the ass. Her asshole was a slightly darker brown moon hovering just above the maroon circle of her cunt. I did a quick sniff and all I came up with was that she smelled clean. Yes, she was telling the truth about the bath. I stuck out my tongue and played on the high ground around the crack of her ass.

Then I descended lower and lower towards the brown little flower that constituted her asshole. The woman had not one hair on the hole, something that pleased me greatly. Licking lightly but heading lower, I kept tasting and smelling the fancy bath soap Melinda insists on putting out for guests. Vanessa moaned. I could see through the corner of my eye from the full-length mirror on the door that she was giving herself a tit massage. If Vanessa was in narcissus mode, so totally occupied with herself, that gave me an idea. Maybe I could turn the situation around.

I stood up, grabbed Vanessa by the hips, setting her just right for a doggie. I was good and hard, thanks to inhaling sweet Filipina pussy and Vanessa was spread wide open. There was plenty of light in the bathroom. I didn’t have any problem locating my target. I nailed a doggie in an instant, the same way Kurt Browning nailed a quad lutz. Remember how you didn’t know how or where in his routine he was going to do it and then he was rotating four in the air? That’s how quickly I went from rimming to fucking doggie style. And that caught Vanessa’s attention.

“No, don’t Paul. Please don’t do that. Stop, please. Your dick was always too big for me. You always hurt me when you fucked me. How does Melinda stand that big thing?”

I ignored all of Vanessa’s whining. “Now I’m in charge and, if you recall, I’m just a despicable nannyfucker. Scream if you want to. There’s nobody home, remember? Don’t you recall from three years ago that I like a woman who makes a bit of noise when I fuck her.”

I shoved my dick even further into Vanessa. I wasn’t about to give her a chance to wiggle away. Vanessa gasped and grimaced in pain, as the tip of my dick slammed against the end of her cunt. Maybe I was too big for her. Definitely, she was wet and well lubricated from my muffdiving so it had to be incompatible dimensions. Really, it’s not my style to hurt a woman during sex. It’s just not good sexual policy, especially if you want the woman back for seconds. For the Nanny from Hell, I made an exception. I wanted to get back at her for all the hurt she caused me and I wasn’t particularly interested in seconds. So there, I’m still the same sweet, sensitive man of the New Millenium that I always was. I was just seriously pissed off at that moment.

Vanessa was still as tight as I remembered her from years ago. Either she had a good gynecologist when she gave birth to Pablo or her cunt had shrunk from disuse or both. Whatever. I started banging Filipina beaver in the best doggie I ever had. Vanessa’s cunt gripped so tightly that I shot off instantly. I just couldn’t stop myself; Vanessa was giving me such an exquisite feeling. The cream lubricated the moving parts enough that I knew this wouldn’t hurt Vanessa as much as I thought she deserved.

I was about to pull out completely but Vanessa screamed again for me to stop. That gave me an idea, since Vanessa didn’t know that I had come or that I was losing interest.

“Can we make a deal Vanessa? I’ll stop hurting you if you’ll leave Melinda and me alone. Is that a deal?”

For effect, I pushed down on her back and jammed my dick back in as far as I could without seriously foreshortening it. Vanessa screamed again and gasped out quietly:

“OK, you’ve got a deal. Just get that awful thing out of me and let me go.”

I pulled out slowly just to emphasize who was boss now. When the tip of my still-hard dick popped out, Vanessa wasted no time getting up, putting on her T-shirt and running down to take another bath. I suppose I should have tried to settle the details of our little deal but I really wasn’t worried. Asian women can have just as many flaws as white bitches but they always keep their word. It’s a little matter called “honour”.